While Making Guacamole For the Super Bowl, I Discovered My Kids Are Now Smarter Than I Am

Photo | Shutterstock

Photo | Shutterstock

I had the avocados. I had a couple of tomatoes, and a lime. I even had cilantro, which I’d hiked all the way back across the vast stretches of our grocery store to get—who decreed that suburban grocery stores should be the size of the Pentagon, anyway?—after I forgot it on my first foray through the produce aisle. So I was pretty sure I had everything I needed to make guacamole for the Super Bowl yesterday when, early in the afternoon, I sliced open the first avocado. Everything was going smoothly until I took a taste of the finished product.

Something wasn’t right.

I called my daughter Marcy. A year spent in Mexico made her a guacamole expert; I’ve watched her stir the stuff up practically one-handed.

“Hey!” she said, answering her phone for once.

“Hey!” I said. “Is there hot sauce in guacamole?”

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Could Philadelphia Host the Super Bowl? The Olympics? The Pope?

popelympics

Could Philadelphia be the host with the most?

You might wonder, since recent weeks and months seem to regularly bring news that the city is in contention for one high-profile event or another: Everything from the Olympics to a Super Bowl to a papal visit has been mentioned, but nothing’s been nailed down yet.

Is Philly ready to host all these high-profile events? Should we pick and choose? Should we quietly back out of contention with a “thanks but no thanks” smile on our faces? Or are we prepared to take on some of the world’s highest-profile events?

Here’s a rundown of the events we’re rumored to desire, and which would be the best fit.

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At Super Bowl, Jersey’s Transit System Overwhelmed

This might not help Philly’s hopes to host a Super Bowl. New Jersey Transit had issues getting people to and from the stadium by train—especially after the game had concluded:

Sports Illustrated:

The issues continued after the game, when the fans who arrived via NJ Transit attempted to return home. NJ.com reported that some fans spent “hours” attempting to leave MetLife Stadium.

“You can get out of any stadium in 45 minutes to an hour. We are at three hours just to get here,” Terry Thon, of Denver, told NJ.com, of the waits to get to the train station at MetLife Stadium. “Ahead of him was another 45-minute wait to get on his next train, he said.”

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The Official Shoppist Style Ranking Of NFL Uniforms

We here at Shoppist are passionate about sports. This probably comes across in posts like this (it can be cold out there on the field!) and this. So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that today, in honor of the Super Bowl which we hear is on Sunday, we compiled a complete ranking of all the teams in the NFL. We spent countless hours deliberating and, yes, sometimes it got heated. But after filtering each team through the same set of considerations (use of color, use of graphics, proper employment of metallics, font choice, neckline, helmet design, execution of figure-flattering design i.e. stripes on leg, and shoe choice) we are proud to present you with The Official Ranking Of Every Team Uniform In The NFL. (Also, if you’re a betting reader, you might want to take into consideration our number one choice. A good-looking uniform goes a long way. Just sayin’.)  Go team!

 

 

18 Super Bowl Sex, Drug Arrests Made

Super_Bowl_XLVIII_logoGet this: People are selling sex and drugs to the rich tourists in New York for Super Bowl week! It doesn’t always go so smoothly: Today police began arresting 18 individuals wanted for selling sex and cocaine “party packs.” The investigation took 11 months.

The scheme, says New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman’s office, was similar to the one that ensnared John Bolaris in 2010.

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5 Super Bowl Calorie Bombs to Avoid This Sunday

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

There is no argument: Everyone loves a good Super Bowl party. Honestly, you don’t even have to be into football to enjoy Super Bowl Sunday; with all the gambling, trash-talking, snacks and beer, you’re bound to have a good time. But then Monday morning rolls around and you realize, “Holy cow, I consumed at least 7,872 calories yesterday and I really don’t see myself being able to button my pants today.” That part’s not so fun.

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