Social Graces
10 Rules of Gym Etiquette (Including: No Hoodies)
I work out seven days a week at a monster gym that used to be a supermarket. Part of a national chain, it comes fully […]
My Enema Shop Is Open for Business
I’ve been wracking my brain for a business idea, and I finally have it: prenuptial enemas. Persuading the bride that she’s merely a healthy dump […]
The CDC’s Anti-Smoking Ads Are Bad for Your (Mental) Health
A message to the Centers for Disease Control: We get it. Smoking is bad. Really bad. We’re glad you want to save us from damaging […]
America Could Use Fewer Standing Ovations, More Booing
If you’ve been watching American Idol this season (and I am just outing myself here and telling you I have), you know that the quality […]
There’s a Difference Between Overprotective Parents and Greedy Monsters
The scariest thing about the Easter Egg hunt that was cancelled due to parents’ overly aggressive “help” is that I’m not surprised. I have been […]
How Is That Lent Sacrifice Working Out for You?
I vividly remember finishing my packed lunch in my middle-school cafeteria and then actively trying to stop myself from going up to the lunch counter […]
The Annotated Guide to Modern Elevator Etiquette
On Monday, I published my investigation into Pennsylvania elevator safety, which questioned the state’s inspection process through which elevators in Philadelphia are certified as safe […]
Our Dishonest Society Could Use the Scarlet Letter Treatment
I’ve been thinking about Hester Prynne lately. You may remember Hester from junior-year English lit. She is the heroine of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, […]
Today’s College Students Could Use MIT’s Charm School
MIT offers a one-day etiquette course called Charm School. It runs all day and offers instruction in things like first impressions, dressing for success, and […]
The Erin Express Turns Philly Into a Disgusting Frat Party
When did St. Patrick’s Day turn into a celebration of debauchery? When I was growing up in Northeast Philly, St. Patrick’s Day usually meant someone’s […]
You Watch Television? How Very Lowbrow of You.
I was at a dinner party on the Main Line two weeks ago with a group of people I didn’t know that well. And like […]
Who Said It: Rush Limbaugh or Philly.com Commenters?
I’m not really sure why there is such an outcry over Rush Limbaugh’s latest remarks. After all, this is hardly something out of character. He […]
Michelle Obama Does Not Wear Sweatpants (and Neither Should You)
Yesterday, WXPN host and producer Robert Drake shared this with me. In the lengthy (we’re talking 78 minutes) video, which the White House posted on […]
New Scientific Study Shows Rich People Cheat and Lie A Lot
It turns out that greed may not be so good after all. Even Gordon Gekko seems to be coming around. On Monday, the […]
Teachers Probably Prefer Not to Grade Essays About How Sexy They Are
America—land of the free, home of the married 56-year-old pervs who get off on harassing college professors and hiding behind the Constitution. That’s my takeaway […]