It Was a Miserable Night for Philadelphia Sports

Philadelphia Flyers goalie Steve Mason (35) reacts against the New York Rangers during the first period at Madison Square Garden on November 19, 2014.

Philadelphia Flyers goalie Steve Mason (35) reacts against the New York Rangers during the first period at Madison Square Garden on November 19, 2014.

It was not a good night to be a Philadelphia sports fan.

First off, the Sixers lost. That’s not necessarily news, but this was a game they might have been able to win! They led the hated Celtics by as many as nine points in the first quarter, but eventually lost 101-90. The record for most losses to start a season is 18. The Sixers are 0-11.

Meanwhile, Tony Wroten fired back at Suns guard Eric Bledsoe, who said the University of Kentucky basketball team would beat the Sixers this year. I see no reason we can’t make this exhibition happen — it might be a chance for the 76ers to actually get a win.

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The Sixers Are Making Deadspin Really Angry

Philadelphia 76ers' Nerlens Noel, left, holds his head after scrambling for a ball against Houston Rockets' Trevor Ariza, right, in the second half of an NBA basketball game Friday, Nov. 14, 2014, in Houston. The Rockets won 88-87.(AP Photo/Pat Sullivan)

Philadelphia 76ers’ Nerlens Noel, left, holds his head after scrambling for a ball against Houston Rockets’ Trevor Ariza, right, in the second half of an NBA basketball game Friday, Nov. 14, 2014, in Houston. The Rockets won 88-87.(AP Photo/Pat Sullivan)

The folks at Deadspin have had it with the Sixers and their tank-job ways. We’ll give you three quotes from the piece, “The Philadelphia 76ers Are a Godless Abomination,” to convey the depth of anger — you might even share it by the end of the piece!

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The Outrage Meter for the Week Ending November 14, 2014

Although there’s been some residual anger over accused sexual assaulter Bill Cosby and the couple charged with torturing and killing a three-year-old boy, a rather heated debate over where the best veggie burger can be found in Philadelphia (talk about First World Problems), nausea brought on by the Sixers (but, really, that’s nothing new), a scuffle over stores being open on Thanksgiving, some talk about spitting in public, embarrassment for the guy who spent $82,000 on a lame proposal scheme that involved iPhones, and disappointment over LeSean McCoy’s lackluster performance, it seems that the only thing that people here are really outraged about en masse is…

…the same thing that people everywhere are outraged about: the naked ass of a fame whore who is married to one of the biggest pieces of crap in society, whether said outrage is over the mere existence of the photo, outrage over the Photoshopping of the photo, outrage over the fact that people are sharing the photo more often than the common cold, or feminist outrage at the people who are outraged at said fame whore for posing for the photo. Frankly, we’d much rather have people sharing this photo of a girl than that one.

Not-Tanking Sixers Try Really Hard, Lose by 53

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Philadelphia 76ers forward Nerlens Noel during the second half against the Dallas Mavericks at American Airlines Center.

On Thursday, Michael Carter-Williams wrote an essay in The Players Tribune, essentially a new professional-athletes-only blog, about the Sixers’ struggles. In the piece, titled “Don’t Talk to Me About Tanking,” Carter-Williams says the media has been too harsh on the team.

“Nobody took the losses harder than we did,” Carter-Williams wrote. “We deserved plenty of criticism, but we all put in too much work to be treated like a joke.”

After sitting out the start of the season with a shoulder injury, Carter-Williams returned to the Sixers lineup. So here is a recap of last night’s Sixers game: The absolutely not-tanking 76ers tried really hard last night in their game against the Dallas Mavericks. They lost by 53, 123-70.

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WATCH: 30th Anniversary Video of Dr. J Punching Larry Bird

These days, it seems like the only 76ers highlights available are when the other team does good things. That’s what happens when you’re in the second consecutive year of a tanking strategy that totally won’t alienate fans.

The only thing left to do? Remember the good old days.

Sunday, for example, was the 30th anniversary of the legendary fight between Dr. J and Larry Bird. Here’s the video:

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WATCH: Drake Is Excited By How Bad the Sixers Are

Sunday night, the Raptors blew out the Sixers 120-88, the first time this year the Sixers haven’t been in a game at all (amazingly). To make matters worse, the Lakers actually won a game last night, which means the Sixers are the NBA’s only winless team.

Want things to get worse? Check out the above dunk, where James Johnson posterizes Brandon Davies so hard that Drake cannot contain himself.

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Young, Tall and Terrible: Meet Your 2014-15 Sixers

the-show

“I think I want to get $10 tickets to the Sixers tonight, any interest?” I texted my friend. “Actually, I have no idea of your interest level in basketball.”

This is how one invites people to a Sixers game in 2014. For a while, it wasn’t hard: “Want to go see Iverson tonight?” Now I have to hedge it with promises of cheap tickets on me and a near apology for even asking.

“I’ll go,” Kelly said. “Are they gonna do the fun floor thing?” For the 2014-15 season, the Sixers have a pregame intro that makes it look like the basketball court is being destroyed by a man hitting the Liberty Bell. I told her it was an all-season thing. “Good, that’s why I’m going,” she replied.

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