9 Easy Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

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With the divorce rates still hovering over fifty percent, couples are understandably wondering how to stay the course and beat the odds. Since length of courtship and even living together do not improve your odds of long-lasting marriage, what does it takes to stay together?

It is a well-known fact that the No. 1 reason couples fight is money, with kids and extended family a close second. There are plenty of reasons  couples disagree and consequently split up, but the big question is “What can couples do to get along better and ensure a happy forever after?” Here are some words of wisdom to live by:

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For First Time In American History, A Strip Club Uses Accurate Stripper Photo In Advertisement

Typically, when a strip club advertises its services (and, strangely, some of us here at Philadelphia magazine see a lot of strip club advertisements), the women depicted are absolute bombshells.

Of course, when you visit said strip club, you rarely ever actually see a woman like that inside. And so we have to give special recognition to Philadelphia’s Club Risque for this ad they sent out via regular mail this week.
See the photo

Berks Politician Targeting “Revenge Porn”

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This week, California signed a law criminalizing “revenge porn”–aka posting naked or illicit pictures of other people online without their consent, presumably to get back at them for something. New Jersey already has one, and now Berks County state Senator Judy Schwank wants PA to become the third state. Here’s the potential problem, if Schwank, a Democrat, wants to model her legislation on California’s.

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The Checkup: Why Sex Doesn’t Count as Exercise

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Shutterstock

• Aw, maaaaan. Despite what the covers of those health magazines tell you, you can’t really count your romp in the sack as daily exercise. Why? Because most sex sessions last an average of just six minutes, burning a piddly 21 calories, according to new research published in the New England Journal of Medicine. If you somehow manage to stretch it to 30 minutes (go you), you’re still only looking at between 85 and 100 calories—the equivalent of a handful of Skittles. So yes—it’s back to the gym you go. [Salon]

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Five Tips for Navigating the New and Complicated World of Sexting

Courting today is completely different than in years past. Texting has played a major role in changing how we communicate. No longer are relationships based on trying to catch someone on the phone or, heaven forbid, having long, drawn-out conversations. Even email has become completely passé.

Couples have ditched all of the above for the easy and immediate gratification of texting. When and where to meet, what to wear and even a quick “Can’t wait to see you” are now all transmitted via a text message. Once a relationship is underway, couples with a good imagination can find ways to be together in an instant, even from afar.

As recently as five years ago, late-night romantic wooing was done via phone sex, where at least you could hear some panting and moaning. To quote Fergie (the Black Eyed Pea, not the red-headed royal), “That was so 2008.” Here in 2013, sexting has taken center stage as the new means of foreplay when apart. The real trick with this medium is that it requires a high level of ambidextrous skill. At least with phone sex you had one hand free.

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West Chester Was Lousy with Vibrators This Weekend

Back-to-school sure is different when you’re in college. We all, of course, need new supplies. And we all have, um, needs, which is why Feminique in West Chester gave away more than 300 vibrators to people coming from as far away as New Brunswick. They were $20 “pocket rockets,” if anyone’s looking for a recommendation.

Store owner Jill McDevitt (and occasional Philly.com “sexologist,” which is oddly not mentioned) says she came up with the idea to hand out sex toys to promote a  “sex positive” mantra and assuage fears about discussing sex:

“When you have people standing in line on a busy Sunday afternoon, they make a statement with their presence,” McDevitt said. “It’s a positive thing.”

But despite that sex-positive vibe, there was at least a little bit of bashfulness on the part of the receivers:

“Kim, 20, a junior communications major at West Chester who declined to give her last name, came with friends because ‘we are comfortable with our sexuality,’ she said.”

Ah, West Chester students: Comfortable with sex, not comfortable with you knowing they’re comfortable with sex. Enjoy the school year, Kim. [Philly.com]

Police Charge Pimp, Two Hookers in Slaying of NE Resident Francis Zarzykci

Since police found Francis Zarzykci’s dismembered torso in the Schuylkill earlier this week, police had been working to ID his killers. They announced a break today with the arrest of hookers Stephanie Foulke and Angel Weston, along with their alleged pimp, Keith Tolbert.

Evidently, Zarzykci had been to the trio’s apartment-cum-bordello before, but his visit on August 26 ended fatally after the group attempted to rob him and he fought back. From there, Tolbert and his girls allegedly stun-gunned Zarzykci before suffocating him and dismembering his body in a bathtub with a hatchet.

Police, following tips from Zarzykci’s computer and call phone, tracked down Tolbert’s operation at 220 S. 11th street and arranged a successful sting. Police are still currently searching for the rest of Zarzykci’s remains.

And with that, Philadelphia has officially become a real-world version of a ’70s exploitation film. [Philly.com]

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