As a woman pushing 30, I’ve been called a slut more times than I care to think about.
Most women have. Cruelly by partners. Casually by gossips. Playfully by friends. Randomly by strangers.
I’m not sensitive to many words, but this one has always bothered me, has always lingered in the air a couple extra seconds. Drop the dreaded “C word” on me and I won’t blink, but “slut” — a tidy little package of judgment, shame and manipulation — has always felt unusually heavy.
When SlutWalk Philadelphia debuted in 2011, I didn’t necessarily like the name. It made me, like a lot of people, uncomfortable at first — and it should have. Like the word, the SlutWalk has pretty uncomfortable origins: A protest march that eventually went global, it began in Toronto after a police officer advised women to “avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.” Instead, women decided to take a little stroll together in fishnets.
I have no real interest in “reclaiming” the word – you can keep this one, among others. But if it’s going to be used against us, I’m personally in favor of harnessing its power to call noisy, unladylike attention to the idea that what we wear somehow determines that it’s OK to harass us.
Well this goes against everything we ever learned (but kind of knew deep down inside): A new study conducted by sex researcher Zhana Vrangalova and published in Social Psychology and Personality Science shows that having casual sex is actually good for your health — if it’s something you’re into, anyway. More from Design & Trend:
World War II fascinates my 10-year-old son Michael, so I rented the movie Pearl Harbor from Verizon. I forgot what a horrible movie it is and how director Michael Bay tried to force a love triangle into the plot. Before the Japanese attack, there were a lot of intense kissing scenes, which bothered my 7-year-old son David.
“Every time they kiss, my penis starts to shake,” he yelled out.
We probably were not supposed to laugh, but my wife and I couldn’t help it. It was a genuinely funny line and it wasn’t his last. Spurred on our laughter, David said, “It’s like I have an alien in my pants. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger.”
(At this point I want to write a message to future David for when he Googles his name years from now and reads this. I am not writing this to embarrass you or the alien. You were just naturally funny and I hope you still are as you read this. If not, I’ll pay for the therapy … or a car … which ever is cheaper.)
I share this story first and foremost because, as I said, it’s funny. But also, because my wife then told me that I soon need to talk with my two boys about sex, especially Michael.
Remember the South Philadelphia house that blew up recently? No, not that one. This one.
The man whose house blew up was Ron Talton, a manager at Chris’ Jazz Cafe on Sansom Street, and on Thursday night, Chris’ is holding a benefit to help him out. Some of Philly’s best jazz musicians are coming out for it, and all of the proceeds ($10 suggested donation) go to helping Talton get his life back in order.
But what you really need to know about Ron Talton is that he used to be a professional singer in Germany, and in 1994, he starred in this semi-NSFW music video for his song, “Tie U Up.” And it is… amazing.
I’m pretty sure the lyrics go something like: “I would usually use my hammer, but with you, I’ve got the wood… I’m gonna tie you up, funk it down, hit you with my two-by-four…”
Enjoy this totally 1994 flashback to 1994. I don’t know whether to say, “You’re welcome” or “I’m sorry.”
Leave it to Gawker to clue us in on a new list that ranks These United States according to the average length of their residents’ sex sessions. The website Nerve actually did the legwork, using data from a sex-tracking app called Spreadsheets. According to the figures, sex sessions in Pennsylvania last, on average, two minutes and 58 seconds—putting us almost exactly smack dab in the middle of the sack pack. We rank at #24 overall.
The birds and the bees talk is awkward, to say the least. Most teens are too busy trying to diffuse their embarrassment with exaggerated eye rolls and snarky remarks to actually absorb any valuable information concerning their sexual health. So the Philly-based Family Planning Council’s I MATTER Teen Pregnancy Prevention Project is taking a more teen-friendly approach to the sex-talk. And what’s more teen-friendly than, well, other teens doing the talking?
According to HuffPo, which knows a thing or two about amateur porn (see: sideboob) Pennsylvania ranks second in the country in uploads to a website called Homegrown Video, which we will not be linking to today.
My first encounter with sex toys was watching an episode of Sex and the City (Who can forget Charlotte’s “rabbit” intervention?). Sure, it was a pretty one-sided presentation and it may have perpetuated a few stereotypes, but at the time, having the WASP-iest member of the group singing her bubblegum-pink vibrator’s high praises felt mighty progressive. I’ve since learned that the realm of sex toys is crazy expansive and I know nary about it. So in honor of Valentine’s Day, I got the scoop on sex toys in Philly by chatting separately with our very own sex shop masterminds: Susan Mannino of Pleasure Chest and Khara Cartagena of The Velvet Lily (ed. note: our pick for Best of Philly!).