Illustration by James Boyle
Hey, big guy. It’s me again. Over the years I’ve made a habit of coming to you every December and selflessly burning up all my Christmas wishes in an attempt to make Philadelphia a better place to eat. I’ve asked for butcher shops and whiskey and Asian street food, and you’ve come through with Kensington Quarters, Cooper River, and that giant indoor food-cart monstrosity they’re (allegedly) building over in Chinatown. Though you never did convince Questlove to open his Hybird fried chicken joint here, I do appreciate all the other chicken-fryers you’ve inspired—from Andy’s to the Fat Ham to Southgate. And while I’m still waiting to see if you’ll come through on making our local cocktail culture a little less, I don’t know … mustache-y?, I have faith you’ve got something (like maybe a GQ article claiming that tight vests and tiny hats cause impotence) up your sleeve and are just waiting for the right moment.
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Simon Malls, the country’s largest real estate trust and the owner of several malls in the Philadelphia area, had an idea for a “modern” and “interactive” presentation of Santa this year. There wouldn’t be a big Christmas tree, reindeer or other traditional secular Christmas symbols. There would just be Santa, sitting in a giant glacier.
The company planned to put it in six malls. One was set up at King of Prussia.
Santa is supposed to look like he’s in a giant glacier or igloo. But he kind of looks like he’s on a really cheap spaceship set. He’s a cool, hip, futuristic Santa for the modern age! It was only installed in several malls, but it got a lot of attention.
And guess what kind of attention it got? Put it this way: You’re not reading a puff piece about a cool, new idea for mall Santas. Complaints ranged from the simple — the set-up looks cheap and/or ugly — to the usual overblown “War on Christmas” outcry we see around this time every year. (Much like Christmas creep, War on Christmas creep is real too. We’re now seeing it in early November!)
Unique to the situation at King of Prussia, the second-largest mall in the country (and the one with the most retail space), was the presence of two Santas: One glacier, one traditional. The Santa in front of Bloomingdale’s in The Court has a traditional setup, while the Santa in The Plaza was the glacier setup.
But now the Spaceship Santa is hitting the (ice) bricks. Read more »
Finally…your kids might stop singing “Do You Want To Build a Snowman” and replace it with “Do You Want To Visit Shrek.”
That’s what the folks at Cherry Hill Mall hope will happen as they get ready to reveal a one-of-a-kind holiday experience titled Adventure To Santa. DreamWorks, the animation team behind Shrek, is launching the interactive multimedia attraction that will open this Black Friday at the South Jersey mall, making it one of only eight shopping centers in the entire country that offer the experience. Unlike the traditional Santa visit, this one incorporates music, video, and everyone’s favorite characters from the Shrek enterprise, including Fiona, Donkey, and the title character himself. Read more »
Jake Gyllenhaal makes Santa sexy in a scene from Jarhead.
I gave myself the difficult task of scouring the web and Instagram for sexy male Santa photos. It all started when I was out shopping over the weekend and saw a rack of Santa hats for sale. Suddenly, my mind went zooming to its naughtier regions, where I was reminded of that oh-so-hot scene in Jarhead when Jake Gyllenhaal dances around in his army tent wearing nothing but two Santa hats, one on his head and one on his you-know-what. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about: here. You’re welcome.)
So in honor of a holiday fantasy that, I’m sure, will forever live on in the minds of gay men (and some of you ladies) across the world, I give to you a slideshow of 25 of the sexiest Santas I could find. Happy holigays!
Slideshow after the jump »