If the sight of those heart-shaped boxes of chocolate at CVS makes you ill or you can’t bare to think about waiting for three hours to get a table at some crappy Olive Garden, then this list is for you. For those who can’t stand the thought of Valentine’s Day, we rounded up a host of events that celebrate an anti-cupid spirit. Just make sure you don’t mistakenly leave your house wearing any red or, God forbid, pink.
Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel: This adults-only party at Camden's Adventure Aquarium features cocktails, penguins, snacks, and the chance to learn about the mating habits of all of your favorite creepy under-the-sea creatures. Nothing says, "I hate love" like finding out how unromantic sex is for eels, seahorses, and shrimp. (February 13, 7:00PM, Adventure Aquarium, 1 Riverside Dr., Camden)
I'm pretty sure you won't find your typical "I Love Mom" tattoos at this extremely popular show that runs throughout Valentine's Day weekend. The Philadelphia Tattoo Arts Convention features dozens of famous tattoo artists (many from TV's Ink Master series), plus vendors, contests, and seminars. If you're still down over your ex, it's a great way to get something else (permanent) that you'll soon regret. (February 13-15, various times, Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch St., Philadelphia)
Chances are, if you hate Valentine's Day, you'd enjoy some off-coloured humor and laughing at others, too. Well, look no further: The award-winning Hate Speech Committee improv company is coming to Philly for a one-night only show on Valentine's Eve at the Philly Improv Theater. Nothing like comedy and inappropriate jokes to kick-start your least favorite holiday of all time. (February 13, 11:55PM, Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St., Philadelphia)
The Ritz at the Bourse will be presenting a special midnight screening of Alfred Hitchcock's classic suspense film Rear Window, staring James Stewart, Grace Kelly, and Raymond Burr. This is Hitchcock at his best, and, if you tell a first date that you really, really, really like the movie, it's a great way to scare them off. (February 14, 12:00AM, Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead St., Philadelphia)
Broadway rock-pop sensation The Skivvies will be playing the Kimmel Center February 12-14, but the day before Valentine's Day, they invite singles to literally strip down (like they do) for a pre-show Tinder Lounge party. It's an event especially designed for the "Anti-Valentines" crowd, and if you use code TINDER when you order your show tickets, you can get a special discount. (February 13, 6:30PM, Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad St., Philadelphia)
And while we're on the subject of underwear, there's nothing like enduring freezing cold temperatures in your unmentionables to say "F-U" to Valentine's Day: Everyone's favorite charity event, Cupid's Undie Run, returns to Philadelphia this February. When you donate to your favorite underwear-clad jogger, you'll be doing it for a good cause. All proceeds benefit the Children's Tumor Foundation. (February 14, 12:00PM, Xfinity Live, 1100 Pattison Ave., Philadelphia)
Yes, you, too, can have a date for Valentine's this year: He's just going to be a little pudgy and hairy and his slobber could drowned a small rat. If that sounds like your ex, then you're in luck: Heavensent Bulldog Rescue is hosting a Valentine's Day Bulldog Kissing Booth at the Promenade in Marlton, New Jersey. For a buck, you can kiss any pooch you wish, knowing that your donation will help rescue animals in need. (February 14, 11:00AM, Promenade at Sagemore, 500 Rte. 73 S., Marlton)
It's such a popular event, people wait all year for it: I mean, who doesn't love hearing horrible stories about people's exes (or, better yet, getting up on stage and telling one yourself)? First Person Arts will be holding their annual anti-Valentine's Day Story Slam with the theme of "Ex-Files" on V-Day itself at Underground Arts. If your ears start ringing that night, someone's probably story slamming you. As of press time, there is only standing room tickets available. (February 14, 8:00PM, Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St., Philadelphia)
Nearly two dozen two-piece bands invite you to be their Valentine (or not) at this all-day festival right in the heart of University City. All ages are welcome to explore the musical stylings of groups from Philadelphia all the way to Toronto. With tickets at only $10, it's a great way to forget about that really awful Valentine's Day dinner you once had at Red Lobster. (February 14, 2:00PM, Pilam, 3914 Spruce St., Philadelphia)
If the only things you love are smut and beer, then you're in luck. BRU is hosting a Valentine's Day Smuttynose beer fest that will get you so buzzed, you'll forget the you're single. If drinking isn't your vice, there will be plenty of beer-infused chocolate desserts going around to satisfy your sweet tooth. Smutty, indeed! (February 14, 2:00PM, BRU, 1318 Chestnut St., Philadelphia)
Swank up your happy hour this evening by enjoying post-work libations and live music at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Tonight's Art After 5 programming features a performance from Northern Arms–who we dubbed the Best Local Band of 2014. Revel in the group's unique mix of "evocative melodies and epic arrangements" as you sip cocktails, nosh on light bites, and explore the galleries. Museum admission is available for purchase online. Friday, January 9th, 5 p.m.-8:45 p.m., $17.50-$23.50, Philadelphia Museum of Art, 2600 Benjamin Franklin Parkway. —Marquesa Rotuski
Just when you thought you had detoxed from all that New Year's Eve drinking, think again: the first ever Big Philly Beerfest is invading the Pennsylvania Convention Center on Friday and Saturday. Guests will be able to sample over 300 beers, all while raising funds for Animal Rescue Partners. There will also be a ton of food trucks and vendors to help you sober up! Tickets can be purchased here. Friday and Saturday, January 9th and 10th, 7:30 p.m., Pennsylvania Convention Center, 1101 Arch Street.
From Foobooz: Because the crew at Little Baby’s seems completely incapable of doing a normal thing when a weird option presents itself, they’re having an ice cream auction. In January. But hey, if you’re a big fan and have just been dying to get your hands on some of their rare, lost, forgotten or out-of-print flavors, this is the night for you. They’re planning on digging through every freezer to find all the odds and ends of the past year, and will be putting every single one of them up for auction on Friday evening. Sean and Andrew Arsenalt from Brewery Arts are going to be this year's auctioneers, and they're also going to be offering up pours of some of their beers throughout the event. Admission is free (as are the drinks), but be sure to bring a cooler and some cash if you're interested in bidding on ice creams that you'll never see anywhere else--and likely never see again. Friday, January 9th, 8 p.m.-10 p.m., Little Baby's Ice Cream World Headquarters, 2311 Frankford Avenue. —Marquesa Rotuski
Grammy-nominated Wale is kicking off 2015 with his "Simply Nothing" tour at the Theater of the Living Arts, the second stop on his journey across the country. The performer, who is taking his show on the road to over 32 cities, will feature numbers from his upcoming album aptly called The Album About Nothing. You can get tickets here. Friday, January 9th, 8:00 p.m., TLA, 334 South Street.
If you're a fan of quirky, late-night movies, then the Ritz at the Bourse has a treat for you: a Friday midnight showing of the very strange and dark comedy The Room. This low-budget, R-rated flick about deception and lust will surely be even more humorous after you've had a few drinks before the show, and for $10, it's a fine way to close out your evening. Friday, January 9th, midnight, Ritz at the Bourse, 400 Ranstead Street.
Former Music Director of The Philadelphia Orchestra, Christoph Eschenbach, returns to the City of Brotherly Love for a series of concerts with the Fabulous Philadelphians. Good seats are still available for the shows, which feature the works of Strauss and Schumann. Tickets are available here. Friday, January 9th, 2 p.m., and Saturday January 10th, 8 p.m., Kimmel Center, 300 S. Broad Street.
If you missed out on last week's First Friday art festivities because you were detoxing from the holidays, no fear: Napoleon Gallery is hosting the opening reception of "Distant Operator" by artist Marianne Dages this Friday. Dages, who has exhibited across the country and has taught at Temple's Tyler School of Art, presents a series of work on paper and object assemblage. Friday, January 9th, 6 p.m., Napoleon Gallery, 319 N. 11th Street.
Avoid impending frostbite this weekend by heading to Penns Wood Winery to get extra toasty. The winery is teaming up with local cheese and honey artisans to bring oenophiles an exclusive tasting and pairing experience every weekend in January. Each sit down pairing features five premium Penns Woods wines, coupled with a variety of cheeses and honey. This Saturday, enjoy live piano from Grace Anne Field as you sip and sample. Advance reservations are required: call (610) 459-0808 to secure your spot. Cheers! Saturday, January 10th, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. and Sunday, January 11th, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., $28 per person, Penns Woods Winery, 124 Beaver Valley Road, Chadds Ford, PA. —Marquesa Rotuski
Round up the little ones and head to Philadelphia's Magic Gardens for PECO Family Jams, a family-friendly monthly event series. This Sunday, get crafty and help adorn the gardens with winter flare by making beaded snowflakes. Afterward, join a tour at 1 p.m. or 3 p.m. and explore the glittering mosaics. Sunday, January 11th, 12 p.m.-4 p.m., $3-$7 (free for children 5 and under), Philadelphia's Magic Gardens, 1020 South Street. —Marquesa Rotuski
You may have put your Christmas decorations away for the year, but the folks at Longwood Gardens still have theirs up and fully illuminated. It is your last chance to catch the iconic holiday displays for the season: they'll be boxing their glittery goods up after this Sunday. Check out our feature on the holiday magic here. January 9th-11th, Longwood Gardens, 1001 Longwood Road, Kennett Square.
If all of that holiday shopping is still taking a toll on your wallet, Philly Improv Theater has the perfect Sunday solution: a free mixer that is sure to tickle your funny bone. Join them for Super Free Sunday, where three of their improv students will be randomly picked to star in a created on-the-spot show. It's a great and humorous way to start off your week. Sunday, January 11th, 7 p.m., Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom Street.
Two great groups of musical experimenters will take the stage at Fringearts this Sunday evening. The Instant Composers Pool Orchestra, formed in 1967, blends musical styles from bop to jazz to create a unique and memorable sound. Ken Vandermark and Nate Wooley are both highly in-demand jazz artists who are known for their improvisational works. Tickets available here. Sunday, January 11th, 8 p.m., Fringearts, 140 N. Columbus Boulevard.
Submit Your Event
Have an event you'd like featured in an upcoming "Things to Do" post? Send information at least two weeks in advance to Josh Middleton at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Theory of Everything: This biopic concerning the brilliant physicist Stephen Hawking, stricken to a wheelchair from ALS as a young man, sagely avoids many of the common melodramatic liberties that so often plague the genre. James Marsh’s film — which stars the phenomenal Eddie Redmayne as Hawking, and the luminescent Felicity Jones as his long-suffering wife — is a shoo-in for Oscar-nom glory. Expect nominations for its two young stars and likely for the film itself, which is a good deal more honest in its warts-and-all depiction of its subject than you might expect. Rotten Tomatoes Score:79%
The work of a true fashion legend will be debuting at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Patrick Kelly: Runway of Love is a fashion exhibit with a slew of inspirations and influences. The late Patrick Kelly, who died of AIDS in January 1990, is an unforgettable African-American designer that challenged the norm and brought new, edgy flair to the fashion world.
His goal was simple: he once said, “I want my clothes to make you smile.” His early work gained the attention of French Elle which featured him in February 1985. He pulled inspiration from his African American and Southern roots, his knowledge of fashion and art history, and the club and gay scenes of New York and Paris.
This is world class art, and definitely the kind of see-and-be-seen event to close off the month. Speaking of world class, one of Philly’s fiercest queens, Brittany Lynn, will be on the red carpet, so try not to show up looking busted. If you want a sneak peek, check out the preview of the exhibit. Click here to get your (free) ticket. Friday, May 30, 6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m., Free, Philadelphia Museum of Art
Each Friday, a new slew of movies comes in to replace what’s already been playing. In order to keep you fully abreast of what you might be missing on the big screen, we offer a quick round-up of films about to move on to that great home video warehouse in the sky. This week:
What's the Story? The true story of an elderly Irish woman named Philomena Lee, whose baby born out of wedlock in an Irish convent many years ago was sold to an American couple without her consent. Her story, as written by journalist Martin Sixsmith, who accompanied her on her quest to find her son, exposed a raw and troubling practice of certain Irish convents at the time.
Why Should I See It? Primarily, because Dame Judi Dench is once again a marvel in the title role, which ended up earning her an Oscar nomination. But also because the film has a sweetly sassy sense of humor, especially with her co-star Steve Coogan. You could say it's a bit dutiful, but it's certainly engaging.
What's the Story? It's a documentary from world-renowned magician/illusionist Teller about wealthy inventor Tim Jenision, who believes he's figured out the mystery of how Dutch Master painter Johannes Vermeer was able to produce his breathtaking paintings -- and tries to recreate one by hand in order to prove it.
Why Should I See it? If you're a regular Ticket reader (and we hope you are), it should certainly sound familiar. It's an engrossing mystery story that ends up being a lot more about personal obsession and self-fulfillment than solving the cryptic secrets of a master artist. Plus, Jenison is a genuinely likeable and amusing fellow, the kind of person who puts his wealth to interesting purpose.
What's the Story? A small group of gay men are terrorized by a handsome serial killer, who stalks the shores of a resort lake somewhere in the south of France.
Why Should I See it? A poignant, sexual thriller or a peculiar Waiting for Godoh-like allegory? In either case, French director Alain Guiraudie's film is thoroughly challenging and absolutely captivating. At times extremely sexually graphic, other times hauntingly spare, the film has real bite and is not soon forgotten.
There’s a certain irony when Elaine Stritch sings the lyrics of Stephen Sondheim’s “I’m Still Here” from the musical Follies: “Good times and bum times, I’ve seen them all and, my dear, I’m still here.”
Yes, Stritch has, indeed, seen it all — a show business career that has spanned over half a century, Broadway and film credits to boot, a drinking problem, Tony and Emmy Awards, dates with JFK and Marlon Brando, and a vicious case of diabetes. Yet, the emotional and masterfully crafted documentary Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me, which plays at Ritz at the Bourse for a limited engagement through March, highlights the one role Stritch hasn’t been able to adequately prepare for: the end of her life.