Rick Santorum Is Still Really Jazzed About Chick-Fil-A

You know who’s really excited about Chick-Fil-A’s chick-in-strips? Rick Santorum, that’s who! The former Republican presidential candidate tweeted that he was enjoying some of the delicious prejudiced poultry along with a peach shake with two of his sons this afternoon. The shame of it is that Santorum’s boys missed out on the Jim Henson kid’s meal toy. The horror. [The Atlantic Wire]

Rick Santorum Is the Spokesman for a Catholic Stem Cell Research Organization

Give Cures is an “ethical” stem cell research organization that only uses adult stem cells and restricts its research to experiments and procedures OKed by the Catholic Church. The organization is launching an initiative to raise awareness and funds—along with a cord blood bank—and has tapped everybody’s favorite former Republican presidential candidate, Rick Santorum, to be its spokesman. [Politics PA]

Will Rick Santorum Move to Canada?

There’s a whole sect of people who were so upset with the Supreme Court’s decision on President Barack Obama’s controversial health care law that they’ve announced they’re moving to Canada. Rick Santorum has made it clear that he’s less than thrilled with the ruling SCOTUS delivered yesterday. In fact, the former Republican presidential candidate was so incensed that he went ahead and fired off an angry email to supporters:

Today’s outcome is the worst of all scenarios. Not only are our rights being taken away and Americans are being forced to do something we don’t want to do, but now we are being burdened with the biggest permanent tax increase in our nation’s history. This is a sad day.

But it doesn’t stop at sad, does it, Rick?

President Obama believes he is above the law, entitled to abusing his power to get what he wants, and willing to violate the constitution and the oath he was sworn to uphold. He has proven to be a very dangerous person to have this kind of power, and if he is not stopped this November, I am fearful that the make-up of this country as established by our founders will never be the same.

He also made a TV appearance last night to point out that President Barack Obama is more arrogant than Tricky Dick. All of this “danger” talk has us wondering if Santorum’s going to pack up his sweater vests and head for the border. He has to have at least considered it a viable option at this point, eh?

Santorum Says Most Americans “Don’t Measure Richness in Money”

Failed GOP presidential candidate and sweater vest enthusiast Rick Santorum spoke to an audience at the Conservative Political Action Committee gathering in Chicago. In his speech, Santorum bashed big government and said that most Americans, “don’t measure richness in money, they measure it, “in other things, like being there to coach Little League.” New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is delivering the keynote address at the CPAC event. [NJ.com]

Rick Santorum’s Response to President Obama’s Support of Gay Marriage

When you heard that President Barack Obama vocalized his support of marriage equality yesterday, we’re sure the first thought you had was, “How does Rick Santorum feel about this?” Well, luckily for you, Rooster issued a statement responding to President Obama’s statement in which he says that President Obama has, “has consistently fought against protecting the institution of marriage from radical social engineering.” [Politico]

Rick Santorum Required Free Breakfast Buffets

Before dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination last month, Rick Santorum’s only requirement on lodging while on the campaign trail was that places offer free breakfast buffets. We don’t care how free the breakfast at the hotel was, Santorum and company better have gotten themselves a proper Shady Maple breakfast when they were in Lancaster in early April. [Jezebel]

Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum Met Privately in Pittsburgh

This morning, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney met with his former Republican rival Rick Santorum privately in Pittsburgh. Details of what the two discussed have not yet been reported, though aides to Rick Santorum indicated that he intended to congratulate Mitt Romney and ask how he can help the presumptive nominee defeat Barack Obama in the presidential election. [Washington Post]

Republicans Lose the Cutest Religious Zealot in Presidential Race

Rick Santorum has dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination for president, and no one is very surprised by that. In fact, it’s pretty amazing that he got as far as he did with his myopic platform. Does anyone know what he thinks of besides abortion? Anyway, the field narrows. With the suspension of Santorum’s campaign, however, we lost one of the cutest candidates we’ve seen for a while. I know, slightly ferret-ish but still an attractive man. Mitt Romney, the presumptive candidate is a good-looking guy, too, but there’s a blankness there, no sparkle in the eye indicating maybe some fire in the belly. Read more »

Rick Santorum’s Campaign By the Numbers

On June 6, 2011, Rick Santorum announced his candidacy for President of the United States. Yesterday, April 10, 2012, he called it quits at an afternoon press conference in Gettysburg. Here’s a breakdown, by the numbers, of what happened in between.

Duration of Santorum candidacy in hours: 7,422
People who have gone to hell1: 31,301,542
Original hardcore pornographic videos created in the U.S.: 11,418
Megadeth shows: 27
State legislatures that legalized same-sex marriage2: 4
Governors to veto those decisions: 1
Percentage of answers I got right in “Who Said It, Rick Santorum or Adolf Hitler?” quiz: 60
Known instances of Santorum publicly cursing: 1
Highest price paid for a sweater vest on eBay: $249.99
Positions spreadingsantorum.com dropped in Google results for “Santorum” search3: 3
News stories mentioning Rick Santorum and the word “frothy”4: 253
YouTube views of Did Santorum almost call Obama the N Word?5: 1,477,827
YouTube views of candidacy announcement on GMA6: 4,980
Dollars in debt of the Santorum campaign7: $922,400
Facebook likes for First Love, the girl band who released Santorum ode “Game On”: 1,135
Months that Santorum’s campaign lasted beyond any pundit predictions made in 2011: 3
Last Philadelphia-area donation to Santorum more than $5008: $508, from Hi Kim
Last Philadelphia-area donation to Mitt Romney more than $500: $1,000, from Fox Rothschild
Days that Newt Gingrich outlasted Santorum: 1 + counting

1Based on a mortality rate of 153,000 deaths per day and a Christianity rate of 33 percent of the world’s population. 2New York, Maryland, New Jersey and Washington. 3From first to fourth place. 4Based on a search of news archives on Nexis.com. 5Posted 3/29/2012. 6Posted 6/6/2011. 7As of the latest campaign finance report. 8According to most recent FEC report.

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