Why This Princeton Football Team Won’t Be Suiting Up Next Season

Princeton vs. Chestnut Hill College. Photo | Chestnut Hill College

Two Princeton sprint football players tackle a member of the Chestnut Hill College team. Photo | Chestnut Hill College

Back in 2010, Stephen Bednar, a former Princeton sprint football player (class of 1960), ignited a firestorm by penning a letter to the editor of the Princeton Alumni Weekly after Penn’s sprint team beat the Tigers by a score of 91 to 13. “Ninety-one is a basketball score,” Bednar noted. “Because of its dismal performance over the years, it appears that Princeton cannot compete effectively in the sprint-football league against the likes of Army, Navy, etc.” He went on to suggest that the sprint program be discontinued — a mercy killing, if you will.

Among those who sprang to defend the sport was Joe Salerno, also a former player (class of ’84), who countered with a stirring paean to the program: “Sprint is for those who were told their whole lives that they were too small to play football but still strapped on the pads for the love of the game. … Instead of glory, sprint footballers get a few moments of on-field exhilaration and lessons about discipline, dedication, and teamwork that last a lifetime. … ” Last week, Princeton finally, belatedly acquiesced to the now-deceased Bednar’s proposal and announced the end of its sprint football team.

Joe Salerno is still worked up about that. He’s worked up even though in all the years since Bednar wrote his letter, Princeton’s sprint football team hasn’t won a game. It hasn’t won a game, in fact, since long before that, in an amazing losing streak that dates back to 1999. (Or thereabouts; nobody’s really sure.) A 2005 article in the Daily Princetonian cited 35 straight losses over the prior five years — “A men’s Division 1 record — for any sport — of dubious distinction.” Sports Illustrated and SB Nation have written about the streak. The annual joke edition of the Daily Princetonian regularly skewers the team.

But where some see relentless humiliation, Joe Salerno sees only the promise of vindication. “I look at this as the biggest opportunity in the world!” he says, just about hyperventilating in his outrage. “No one’s ever lost that much! I can’t believe this is the university’s decision!”  Read more »

This Photo of Ted Cruz on Princeton’s Debate Team Will Haunt You

Photo | Princeton University

Photo | Princeton University

The Daily Princetonian, the student newspaper of Princeton University, has reported on this year’s 70th Annual Latke vs. Hamentaschen Debate, sponsored by the American Whig-Cliosophic Society, which, incidentally, is celebrating its sestercentennial this year. (That’s 250 big ones, yo.) In case your college degree isn’t draped in ivy, Whig-Clio, as it’s known by twats, is the nation’s oldest collegiate debating society and was founded by such upstanding citizens as James Madison and (brr) Aaron Burr. (Its headquarters are at 1 Whig Hall on Princeton’s campus.) Read more »

Princeton Tops List of “Best Small Cities in America”

Princeton-marquee

Take a bow, Princeton, New Jersey. You’ve been ranked as the top spot on WalletHub’s most recent listicle of “Best Small Cities in America.” We know what you’re all thinking: Finally, this sleepy town in Mercer County has something to hang its hat on after all these years (kidding).

It’s no small feat, considering the list compared the picturesque streets of Princeton with the amenities of 1,268 other small cities. So, much like applying to Princeton University, the field was wide and the competition was fierce.

“Inevitably, life in a small city demands some tradeoffs such as shorter business hours, a heavier reliance on cars and fewer dating opportunities,” says Richie Bernardo, of WalletHub. The wide net was cast in order to “find the ones where residents don’t have to give up much.”

According to the methodology behind the ranking, cities were ranked according to four categories: Affordability, Economic Health, Education & Health, and Quality of Life. Princeton’s overall score of 61.90 topped runners up Littleton, Colorado (57.62) and Dublin, Ohio (57.22) by a wide margin.

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Eight Great College Football Games to See (in Person) This Fall

philadelphia-college-football-grid-940x540
Football is under siege — from parents, doctors, academics, a Kennedy, even from Buzz Bissinger, the guy who wrote the definitive book on football, Friday Night Lights. This makes us sad. Football is a wonderful game perfectly suited to the American spirit, and we’d miss it if it went away. We love us some Eagles, but for true passion — from guys who aren’t making millions a year to take the field — you can’t beat college football. Here are eight upcoming games featuring local college teams that should offer lots of rivalry, fun and excitement, not to mention cheerleaders and marching bands. Catch as many as you can — while you can. Read more »

Nobel Laureate Toni Morrison’s Papers Find a Home at Princeton

The papers of Toni Morrison | Don Skemer, Department of Rare Books and Special Collections

The papers of Toni Morrison | Don Skemer, Department of Rare Books and Special Collections

During Princeton University‘s “Coming Back: Reconnecting Princeton’s Black Alumni” conference last week, President Christopher L. Eisgruber announced that the papers of Toni Morrison have found a permanent home in the collections of Firestone Library. The collection includes manuscripts and drafts of Morrison’s novels The Bluest Eye, BelovedSong of Solomon and more, and will join other important works in the Manuscript Division of the Department of Rare Books and Special Collections.

Morrison served on the Princeton faculty for 17 years from 1989 to 1996. A year before joining the Princeton staff, Morrison won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for Beloved and then became the first African American woman to win the Nobel Prize in literature in 1993. At Commencement in 2013, she was awarded an honorary doctoral degree from the University.

An exhibit of the author’s papers, which also includes correspondences, lyrics, lectures, photographs, and more, will be on display now through Monday, November 24th in the Main Gallery of Firestone Library. The manuscript of Morrison’s forthcoming novel is expected to join the collection in the near future.

Princeton Sign Campaign Targets NBC Doc For Breaking Ebola Quarantine

Someone in Princeton is waging a guerrilla campaign against NBC correspondent Dr. Nancy Snyderman for violating her Ebola quarantine. They’ve posted multiple fliers around town, urging residents to call the police if they see Snyderman around town.

The flier includes her home address and the names of her children.

A freelance cameraman working on a team with Snyderman, Ashoka Mukpo, caught Ebola while working in Liberia. Snyderman, back in the U.S., agreed to a voluntary 21-day quarantine. But after she was spotted out and about in Princeton, the New Jersey Health Department issued a mandatory quarantine for her.

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Survey: Penn, Princeton Grads Are Hard to Date

Alumni from the University of Pennsylvania are among the 10 least-dateable alums of any college in the United States, according to a survey.

Matchmaking site The Dating Ring surveyed 1,600 users about 7,500 dates and came up with the 10-best and 10-worst alumni to date. Penn came in at No. 8, and Princeton No. 9. Babson College (it’s near Boston) had the worst alums to date in the survey, while Rutgers was third-worst.

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Ex-Princeton Student Accused of Being A Peeping Tom on Campus

Former Princeton University student David Chesley was arrested earlier this week and charged with burglary and invasion of privacy. A fellow student says Chesley took videos of her with his cell phone camera while she was showering.

Police say Chesley, originally a member of the Princeton class of 2016, pointed a cell phone camera at a woman showering in Forbes College, a residential college (it’s basically a dorm) for first- and second-year students at Princeton. Some students in the annex of Forbes don’t have private showers; the bathroom is secured with a combination lock. Chesley was charged with burglary since he wasn’t authorized to be in the girls’ shower at Forbes.

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