Lenny Dykstra Tries a High School Speech After Striking Out With College Grads

Turns out Lenny Dykstra didn’t like what we had to say on Wednesday about the former Phillie’s bizarre social media commencement speech that nobody asked for. After striking out with college grads, Nails – always a good sport – promised that he would step back up to the plate and swing again:

Well, the Dude came through, believe it or not. Who would’ve thought that 2017 Lenny Dykstra would actually stick to his guns?

You know what? I gotta admit this is a much better second effort from Lenny. He made a few good points, but this is still Nails we’re talking about here.

“If you haven’t or don’t know what you want to do, then you’re obviously in a position where you should not go to college.”

What an opening salvo from Lenny. Can’t say this is a point we agree with given how many students enter college as “Undecided” majors and end up with degrees. College is a time for testing the waters. Find a couple things you might like to do before zeroing in on it.

“College might be the biggest racket, the biggest scam, the biggest… money-making monopoly in this country.”

This is just classic Nails.

“The system has taken advantage of young people who don’t know what to do – they don’t have goals, they don’t have dreams. They just go to college because they think they have to.”

Actually this is Lenny’s best point. There are WAY too many colleges handing out worthless degrees while sinking these students into debt when they really should’ve just stuck with a trade job or any other noble work that doesn’t require a college diploma.

“College is a great vehicle if you’re a doctor or a lawyer or… So if you use it the right way college is obviously something very, very… enormously helpful for you and your career.”

Here’s where Nails brings it all back full-circle with an attempt at a good message. Still a little rambling, but that’s to be expected when going off the cuff. Nice effort nonetheless. Maybe Lenny has more brains than people give him credit for. He did get a full ride to Arizona State, after all. (Totally wasn’t for baseball).

So what’s next for Dykstra? Does he follow up this address with one for kindergartners making the jump to first grade?

I’ve got a better idea: Why doesn’t Lenny go to college with this incoming class that he just addressed? I’m sure ASU would still honor that nearly 40-year-old scholarship. It’s never too late to go back to school!

via GIPHY

Follow @jtrinacria on Twitter.

Lenny Dykstra’s Unsolicited Advice to College Graduates: Work

Photo by AP/Amy Sancetta.

Former Phillies centerfielder Lenny Dykstra fancies himself an erudite man. Don’t ask us how, but somewhere along the way Nails got the impression that people actually want to hear advice from a washed-up ballplayer who later served time in federal prison after pleading guilty to bankruptcy fraud and money-laundering.

He’s also a racist and a misogynist, but that’s another story.

Now just a sad shell of himself, the Dude returned to the public eye last year with the release of his autobiography, House of Nails: A Memoir of Life on the Edge. As part of the promotion for that celebrated work of literature, Dykstra joined Twitter – and also told Howard Stern that he’s now moonlighting as an L.A. gigolo. Read more »

Former Phillies Catcher Carlos Ruiz Pitched for Seattle Last Night!

Photo by AP/Lynne Sladky

Is there anything former Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz can’t do on a baseball diamond?

The 38-year-old Panamanian began his career as a second baseman before he was converted to catcher at the Phillies Baseball Academy in the Dominican Republic. After making that switch in 1998, Ruiz went on to backstop a Major League record four no-hitters over the course of 11 seasons in Philadelphia.

That position change way back when helped launch Chooch’s career in the Majors. Could his latest prolong it?

With the Seattle Mariners down 19-6 in the eighth inning of Tuesday night’s game against the Minnesota Twins, manager Scott Servais told Ruiz to grab his fielder’s glove and hit the mound. Carlos has appeared in more than 1,000 games in the big leagues, but last night was his first as pitcher. Read more »

Turkey Hill Sorta Kinda Discontinued Phillies Graham Slam Ice Cream

Photo illustration by Joe Trinacria. (Logo courtesy of Turkey Hill)

Have you noticed that supermarkets in the area haven’t been carrying the absolutely phenomenal Phillies Graham Slam ice cream lately? (Turkey Hill dropped the official team affiliation in 2015, but it’ll always be Phillies Graham Slam to us.)

Turns out that’s because the Pennsylvania-based dairy producer has cut distribution of its consumer-friendly containers, leaving Phils fans at a loss for what sweet to turn to for comfort in defeat. Read more »

The Phillies Will Wear 1980s Throwbacks Twice in July

Photo courtesy of the Phillies.

The Phillies will wear 1980s throwback uniforms twice next month – at home against San Diego on July 7th and 9th as well as on the road in Milwaukee the entire following weekend (July 14-16).

It’ll be a throwback weekend of sorts at Citizens Bank Park, with the Phillies donning the old burgundy pinstripes in honor of Friday night’s “1980s Retro Night” theme (July 7th). There will be an ‘80s tribute band, an appearance by former Phil Bob Dernier – perhaps best-known for this wild Harry Kalas call in ’89 – and post-game fireworks set to hit songs of the decade.

Specifically, the uniform will call back to the 1983 National League champion Phillies – the Wheeze Kids – by including the franchise’s centennial patch on the left sleeve:

Photo courtesy of the Phillies.

Regular home uniforms on Saturday (July 8th), but the turn-back-the-clock weekend will keep on rolling with a bobblehead giveaway to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Michael Jack Schmidt’s 500th home run. The old jerseys will be worn again on Sunday (July 9th), which will also have a bit of a minor ‘80s flavor in the ballpark.

The Padres will be in period-appropriate uniforms for both games too:

As for in Milwaukee, the Brewers are paying homage to their 1982 American League champions (remember when the Brewers were an A.L. team?) and the Phils will play along by wearing their old powder blues.

Allow us to nerd out a bit for a moment, ok? We’ve received confirmation that the Phillies are in fact wearing the correct burgundy helmets that match their uniforms and will not be going the cheap route by putting stickers on their regular red helmets like last time.

Now, if only players would wear the proper stirrups and not keep their uniforms so damn baggy, it would actually look like a true throwback baseball game and not like a pajama party.

Follow @jtrinacria on Twitter.

Mike Schmidt Called Odubel Herrera to Apologize for His Comments

Photo by AP/Derik Hamilton.

After causing a bit of a stir on Tuesday with his comments on the airwaves of WIP, Mike Schmidt called Odubel Herrera to apologize for the answer the Phillies icon gave to host Angelo Cataldi when asked whether the team could build around its current centerfielder, CSNPhilly reported.

“My honest answer to that would be no,” Schmidt replied to Cataldi. “First of all, it’s a language barrier. Because of that, I think he can’t be a guy that would sort of sit in a circle with four, five American players and talk about the game; or try and learn about the game or discuss the inner workings of the game; or come over to a guy and say, ‘Man, you gotta run that ball out.’” Read more »

Mike Schmidt Says Phillies Can’t Build a Team Around a Spanish-Speaking Player

Photo by AP/Derik Hamilton.

As arguably the greatest Phillie of all time, Mike Schmidt’s opinion on the current state of the franchise is so valued that the team allows him to sit in on weekend broadcasts to provide insights into today’s game.

Schmitty’s takes are usually welcome, but on Tuesday the former slugger showed his age and put his foot in his mouth during an appearance on WIP’s morning show, dropping quotes that can’t help but remind us of Joey Vento, the controversial late founder and former owner of Geno’s Steaks. Read more »

« Older Posts