No Thanks, SNL: We’ll Keep the Phillie Phanatic

The Phillie Phanatic and Donald Trump - split photo

Phanatic photo by Googie Man; Trump photo by Gage Skidmore; both used under a Creative Commons license

As you may have heard, Colin Jost made a proposition on the most recent Saturday Night Live episode: Donald Trump could replace the Phillie Phanatic.

Sure, we understand the comparison in light of current events, and some of us think the Phillie Phanatic can be a bit of an ass. But we doubt our mostly beloved mascot would do something as asinine as free throw paper towel rolls into a crowd of category 5 hurricane survivors who’d gone roughly two weeks without proper access to electricity and clean water.  Read more »

Looking to Score an Impromptu Visit From the Phillie Phanatic?

Photo courtesy of the Phillies.

It’s Wednesday. You probably rolled out of bed behind schedule, burnt your breakfast and now are reading this article instead of doing the work you’re being paid to do. (Hey, it’s better than staring blankly at the walls of your cubicle – so no judgment here). Monday’s vibe is certainly worse, but the weekend still isn’t that close and we’re all left stuck in limbo with fun on the horizon.

Quizzo. Karaoke. Playing with a puppy. All good ways to help break up the monotony of the workweek on Wednesdays. An exclusive audience with the Phillie Phanatic at your office? Now that’s divine. Read more »

The Phillie Phanatic Will Haunt This Adorable Baby’s Nightmares Forever

For most kids, the Phillie Phanatic is a cherished piece of the Philadelphia baseball experience. The fuzzy green mascot shoots hot dogs out of a cannon that looks like an actual hot dog while zipping across the field on an ATV. He’s constantly messing with opposing players and serves as the dancing clown to avert your attention from the terrible baseball being played by the home team. Who wouldn’t love him?

But for one young Phils fan (possibly now a Mets convert), the Phanatic was no welcome sight at last night’s game against the Rockies. Read more »

The Phillie Phanatic Will Come to Your Kid’s Birthday Party (If You Win This Auction)

If you have the cash, the Phillie Phanatic will come to your birthday party.

We are still a ways from baseball season, but that sounds like quite the deal. Baseball’s winter meetings are this week, with representatives from all 30 teams meeting in Baltimore for discussions, trade talks, and various award ceremonies. As part of this year’s meetings, MLB and the clubs are holding a charity auction in memory of Mets media relations exec Shannon Forde. Forde, well liked by reporters, fans, and players alike, died of cancer at 44 earlier this year.

Proceeds from the auction, which you can reach at MLB.com/Shannon, will go to fund the renovation of a youth field in Little Ferry, Bergen County, New Jersey. Read more »

The Phillie Phanatic Had Jury Duty Today

12 Angry Men parody - 11 men with the Phanatic photoshopped in

11 Angry Men and 1 Happy Phanatic | Phanatic photo by Terry Foote (license)

Is the Constitutional right to a fair trial abrogated when one of the jurors is the Phillie Phanatic?

That’s the question I have after the Phillie Phanatic walked into the Criminal Justice Center, passed through the metal detectors, and showed up at the jury selection room with a few hundred other Philadelphians for jury duty today today. Read more »

WATCH: Did Pikachu Give Crowd the Finger at Phillies Game?

Pikachu on the field at Citizens Bank Park, flipping off fans

I know what you’re going to say: It seems unlikely the Phillies would have a guy run around in a costume of the best-known Pokémon and have him flip off the Crowd at Citizens Bank Park.

But, c’mon! What else does this possibly look like? Pikachu runs onto the field and immediately tells Phillies fans where they can stick it. Read more »

Poll: Phillie Phanatic More Qualified to Be President Than Donald Trump

The Phillie Phanatic and Donald Trump - split photo

Phanatic photo by Googie Man, Trump photo by Gage Skidmore; both used under a Creative Commons license

Don’t want to vote for presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump this November, but not quite ready to push the button for Hillary Clinton? You could always vote for the Phillie Phanatic.

Public Policy Polling, a liberal-leaning polling firm that was judged the most accurate in 2012, recently polled Pennsylvania voters. And PPP found that citizens of the Keystone State find the Phillie Phanatic to be more qualified to be president than Donald Trump.

It wasn’t all that close, either: Forty-six percent of Pennsylvania voters surveyed said the Phillie Phanatic was more qualified to be president than Trump, with 40 percent saying they felt Trump was more qualified than the giant, green fuzzy mascot who doesn’t talk. Fourteen percent said they weren’t sure. Weren’t sure. Read more »

John Oliver Makes Us Ponder Uncomfortable Truths About the Phillie Phanatic

Last night, John Oliver did a long segment on how the media often misreports scientific studies. In it, he referenced p-hacking — a way of data mining that uncovers patterns that can be shared as statistically significant, without developing an underlying hypothesis first. This increases the chance that the results are falsely statistically significant.

Anyway, Oliver truncated p-hacking to “phacking,” then described it as “a euphemism for fucking the Phillie Phanatic.” Read more »

The Phillie Phanatic Will be Landscaping at Central High Saturday

Comcast

This Saturday, thousands of Comcast employees across the country will, alongside their family and friends, take part in Comcast Cares Day, which is the a community service project that is the largest single-day volunteer event in the country. This year, 100,000 people are expected to take part across the country, with around 6,000 in the greater Philadelphia region alone. Read more »

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