Lenny Dykstra Tries a High School Speech After Striking Out With College Grads

Turns out Lenny Dykstra didn’t like what we had to say on Wednesday about the former Phillie’s bizarre social media commencement speech that nobody asked for. After striking out with college grads, Nails – always a good sport – promised that he would step back up to the plate and swing again:

Well, the Dude came through, believe it or not. Who would’ve thought that 2017 Lenny Dykstra would actually stick to his guns?

You know what? I gotta admit this is a much better second effort from Lenny. He made a few good points, but this is still Nails we’re talking about here.

“If you haven’t or don’t know what you want to do, then you’re obviously in a position where you should not go to college.”

What an opening salvo from Lenny. Can’t say this is a point we agree with given how many students enter college as “Undecided” majors and end up with degrees. College is a time for testing the waters. Find a couple things you might like to do before zeroing in on it.

“College might be the biggest racket, the biggest scam, the biggest… money-making monopoly in this country.”

This is just classic Nails.

“The system has taken advantage of young people who don’t know what to do – they don’t have goals, they don’t have dreams. They just go to college because they think they have to.”

Actually this is Lenny’s best point. There are WAY too many colleges handing out worthless degrees while sinking these students into debt when they really should’ve just stuck with a trade job or any other noble work that doesn’t require a college diploma.

“College is a great vehicle if you’re a doctor or a lawyer or… So if you use it the right way college is obviously something very, very… enormously helpful for you and your career.”

Here’s where Nails brings it all back full-circle with an attempt at a good message. Still a little rambling, but that’s to be expected when going off the cuff. Nice effort nonetheless. Maybe Lenny has more brains than people give him credit for. He did get a full ride to Arizona State, after all. (Totally wasn’t for baseball).

So what’s next for Dykstra? Does he follow up this address with one for kindergartners making the jump to first grade?

I’ve got a better idea: Why doesn’t Lenny go to college with this incoming class that he just addressed? I’m sure ASU would still honor that nearly 40-year-old scholarship. It’s never too late to go back to school!

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Lenny Dykstra’s Unsolicited Advice to College Graduates: Work

Photo by AP/Amy Sancetta.

Former Phillies centerfielder Lenny Dykstra fancies himself an erudite man. Don’t ask us how, but somewhere along the way Nails got the impression that people actually want to hear advice from a washed-up ballplayer who later served time in federal prison after pleading guilty to bankruptcy fraud and money-laundering.

He’s also a racist and a misogynist, but that’s another story.

Now just a sad shell of himself, the Dude returned to the public eye last year with the release of his autobiography, House of Nails: A Memoir of Life on the Edge. As part of the promotion for that celebrated work of literature, Dykstra joined Twitter – and also told Howard Stern that he’s now moonlighting as an L.A. gigolo. Read more »

Is Lenny Dykstra’s Post-Prison Comeback Already Over?

Lenny Dykstra signs copies of his memoir at a Cherry Hill Barnes & Noble on July 6, 2016.

Lenny Dykstra signs copies of his memoir, “House of Nails,” at a Cherry Hill Barnes & Noble. Photo by David Gambacorta

Lenny Dykstra was in Germany — a “fucking cool” place if he’d ever seen one — when he spotted a woman walking a German Shepherd and felt the urge to do something crazy.

It was November 1993, and Major League Baseball had sent the Phillies star centerfielder on a trip to promote the sport across Europe. He was staying in a posh hotel with his then-wife, Terri, when he noticed the dog from his 20th floor balcony. Dykstra had German Shepherds as pets when he was a kid growing up in California; he prized their loyalty.

Now he was in Germany. “This is where German Shepherds come from,” he told his wife. Dykstra bolted downstairs and grabbed a concierge who spoke English. “I said to him, ‘You have to come with me and talk to this lady outside. I want to buy her fucking dog.'” The concierge convinced the woman to walk into the hotel, where Dykstra made her an offer: $5,000 in cash for the dog. Read more »

Dykstra Claims He Blackmailed Umps

Lenny Dykstra, the spark plug of the 1993 Phillies team that went to the World Series, told radio host Colin Cowherd this week that he blackmailed umpires to get favorable treatment while in Philadelphia.

“I had to do what I had to do to win and support my family,” Dykstra said.

The stories have been around for years — Dykstra was coy about them during an interview with Philly radio host Mike Missanelli last year — but Tuesday’s interview appeared to be the first time he directly confirmed the rumors.

A spokesman for Major League Baseball told Philly Mag that officials are aware of Dykstra’s interview, but had no immediate comment on his allegations.
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WATCH: Mitch Williams, Lenny Dykstra Have Spat at Roast [VNSFW]

The language in the above video is considered not safe for work, unless you work on on a 18th-century shipping vessel or a factory where swear words are created.

A few weeks ago, Lenny Dykstra and Mitch Williams were roasted by a lineup consisting primarily of WIP jocks (and also Stu Bykofsky, John Bolaris and Susie Celek).

A video has now been making the rounds of a tense moment at the roast between Williams and Dykstra. It was posted by Joe Conklin’s Twitter account, so maybe — as Big League Stew speculates — it’s all an act. Read more »

Why I Won’t Watch Floyd Mayweather Fight

Floyd Mayweather gets a FaceTime call from Tom Brady before hi media workout at his Mayweather Boxing Club on Tuesday, April 14, 2015 in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/John Salangsang)

Floyd Mayweather gets a FaceTime call from Tom Brady before hi media workout at his Mayweather Boxing Club on Tuesday, April 14, 2015 in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/John Salangsang)

On May 2nd, Floyd Mayweather will go up against Manny Pacquaio in a much-publicized fight available at a premium price on Pay-Per-View. Mayweather has evolved into something of a pop-culture phenomenon with his flashy Money Team brand and bravado. As a fighter, his dedication to the sport means that he has often taken his work home: Deadspin has done fantastic reporting on Mayweather’s history as an alleged domestic abuser.

This is why I won’t be paying the hefty price tag to watch him pulverize anyone else. It’s why you shouldn’t, either. Read more »

Ex-Phillie Dykstra: I Was Beaten in Jail

dykstra

Hey, remember the 1993 Phillies? Weren’t they great? That team of roided-up, beer-swilling everybodies almost won the World Series! Sure, they lost to a team in Canada in the end, but we’ll always have the memories. Hey, the star of that team was Lenny Dysktra! Hit .305, slugged .482, led the league in hits and runs and walks and only didn’t win MVP because the greatest baseball player ever won it. He’s in the news again, as you can see from the cool screenshot above. Wonder why he’s wearing that hat?

Anyway, what’s our ol’ pal Lenny Dykstra been up to?

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Lenny Dykstra Is Getting Out of Prison

Philly.com:

Lenny Dykstra, the troubled ex-Phillies star, is expected to be released from a California prison Sunday, 15 months into his 3-year term, according to sources.

Dykstra pleaded no contest in October, 2011 to three grand theft auto charges and one count of filing a false financial report, just the latest in a series of downfalls in a tragic slide.

He was sentenced to three years in March 2012; obviously he’s getting out quite a bit earlier than that.

Lenny Dykstra Trying to Amuse Dr. Conrad Murray and James DeBarge With His, Ahem, Manhood?

Lenny Dykstra is in the celebrity wing (really) of a Los Angeles prison for his grand theft auto scheme. In an adjacent cell sits Michael Jackson’s Dr. Conrad Murray (really). Word has it that Nails gets his kicks by putting a sheet over his head, making a hole at the waist and sticking his…well, you get the idea. When it comes to Dykstra, though, not even this surprises us. [Crossing Broad]