The Garden State Parkway-Boardwalk Pizza Suit Is the Dumbest Lawsuit New Jersey Has Ever Filed

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The author at Boardwalk Pizza.

In 2009, a friend and I were driving from Key West to Fort Lauderdale. The night before had been a long one (is there any other kind of night in Key West? Especially on your last night of vacation?) so we were looking for a greasy lunch.

“STOP!” I cried when I saw a green and yellow circular sign on the side of the road. “We’re eating here.”

That place was Jersey Boardwalk Pizza, which is now being sued by the state of N.J. [read the full suit]. because of their logo has the same shape and color scheme as the Garden State Parkway emblem.

This is ridiculous. How ridiculous? As ridiculous as saying Flying Fish promotes drunk driving with their Exit Beer series. As ridiculous as AAA not being able to service cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, Atlantic City Expressway or Garden State Parkway. As ridiculous as only having six bathrooms for women in what replaced the Oceanview Service Area rest stop.

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N.J. Sues Fla. Pizza Shop Over Garden State Parkway-Like Logo

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New Jersey has sued a Florida pizza shop for misappropriating the Garden State Parkway logo for its own pizza-related logo. Let’s get to the best sentence in the lawsuit now: “Over the years, many third parties have attempted to trade off of the fame and notoriety associated with Plaintiff’s Garden State Parkway Logo and Plaintiff has actively and successfully policed against infringing third-party uses of its mark.” Notorious G.S.P.!

The state has filed a lawsuit against Jersey Boardwalk Pizza, claiming its Garden State Parkway knockoff logo — and a similar mark used for franchising — is attempting to piggyback off the “fame” of the Parkway and could confuse customers into thinking the Parkway is running the pizza shop. (Wouldn’t that be bad for the business? That new rest stop barely has any bathroom stalls!)

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City Pays $1.4 Million for Posting Gun Permit Appeal Data Online

Two years ago, the city posted a list of Philadelphia citizens who had been denied a gun permit in the state. It eventually took the information down, after outcry from those whose information had been posted. (“I was wrongly accused of being a bartender,” one appeal read.)

Two of those listed sued on behalf of all 3,265 gun permit applicants who had their names and addresses posted on the city website. Last month, they reached a settlement that was announced today: The city is paying $1.4 million to settle the suit.

As part of the settlement (below), the Nutter administration says it still believes the information is not confidential and it had done nothing wrong.

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Rapper Sued for Allegedly Slapping Woman at Made in America

Rapper A$AP Rocky has been sued by a woman who says he slapped her at last year’s Made in America concert on the Parkway. She’s seeking at least $75,000 in damages.

In the lawsuit, which also names Live Nation and unnamed security members, Lisamarie Wade says A$AP Rocky and his entourage walked toward her and slapped her for no reason on August 31st of last year. Rocky is the most prominent member of the Brooklyn-based A$AP Mob hip-hop collective, which has 16 members with confusingly similar names.

Wade attempted to file a private criminal complaint against Rocky last year, but she eventually decided to withdraw an attempt for criminal charges.

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Farmers’ Cabinet Landlord Sues Swartzes for More Than $1 Million

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The author, middle, at Farmers’ Cabinet on July 7th, the last night it was open.

From the Department of News That Will Surprise Absolutely No One comes this: Farmers’ Cabinet landlord Good Fortunes LLC has filed a landlord-tenant lawsuit against Matt and Colleen Swartz, alleging that the Swartzes owe $1,068,149.21 in back rent, future rent (their lease doesn’t expire until 2021), city code violations, utility bills, and various fees and court costs. Read more »

Cult Leaders and Ballet Dancers: The Strange Rock School Lawsuit

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Shutterstock.com

Each year, many up-and-coming ballet dancers from around the world audition for the “summer intensives” at Philadelphia’s Rock School for Dance Education, the prestigious 51-year-old ballet school on South Broad Street that claims “alumni in every major ballet company in the United States, on Broadway and in Europe.” In fact, this year’s summer intensives have just begun. And according to a new federal lawsuit, there’s one parent particularly upset with how things went last year. Read more »

Lawyers Identify Johnny Doc’s “Anonymous” Philly.com Commenter

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Screen shot of Stephen Montemuro’s Twitter page taken at 3:30  on April 19th, 2014

Electrical union boss John “Johnny Doc” Dougherty is suing “anonymous” Philly.com commenter “FBPDPLT” for calling him a “pedophile” in a 2012 comment, and back in March, Philadelphia Common Pleas Court Judge Jacqueline Allen ordered Philly.com to turn over any identifying information it had on the commenter. Philly.com gave Dougherty’s attorney an IP address, and now the previously anonymous commenter has been named in a court filing as Stephen J. Montemuro.

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Lawsuit over Fake Chips at Borgata Poker Tournament Thrown Out

A lawsuit over fake poker chips at a Borgata poker tournament in Atlantic City has been dismissed by a state court. Lawyers say they’ll appeal.

The lawsuit stems from an odd incident surrounding the Borgata Winter Poker Open tournament earlier this year. A gambler staying at nearby Harrah’s had snuck counterfeit chips into the tournament, and thought Borgata officials were on to him. So, police say, he flushed them down the toilet. His scam was discovered when pipes in Harrah’s began to leak from being clogged with $2.7 million in fake poker chips. (In a subplot to this already-weird tale, alleged chip counterfeiter Christian Lusardi has is also accused of possessing 37,000 bootleg DVDs.)

The tournament was canceled, and earlier this year gamblers sued. Yesterday, a judge dismissed it.

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