John Bolaris and His Eight Inches Win the Weather Wars (This Time)

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Yesterday, amply-mocked weatherman John Bolaris told Philly.com readers that Philadelphia could get as much as eight inches of snow — two inches more than his earlier prediction.

Naturally, had he been wrong by even a millimeter, we would have taken to this site to remind everyone about the time that he was laughed out of town for a massive fail of interstellar proportions (also known as John Bolaris Embarrassing Story #2,332: The Storm of the Century).

But it turns out he was right on the money, so it’s only fair that we tell you so, unbiased as we are. Read more »

John Bolaris Says We’re Getting More Snow Than He First Thought [UPDATED]

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UPDATE: John Bolaris and his eight inches win.

ORIGINAL:
As you might imagine, the local meteorologists have dialed back their specificity a bit after the debacle surrounding our first major snowfall of the season and the whole ridiculous long-range winter forecast thing which didn’t even manage to predict December’s weather with any degree of accuracy. As of Thursday afternoon, after days of cautious speculation, John Bolaris was saying that the predicted snowfall amounts in the Philadelphia region were “inching up.” Read more »

Get Ready for More Snow Saturday

Tomorrow, starting around 10 a.m., it’s going to start snowing again. Around 8 p.m. according to Weather.com, that’ll let up and morph into freezing rain. Philly.com weatherzombie John Bolaris says 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. is a more likely range, and predicts about a two inch accumulation. Why this is good: The Army-Navy Game will be played in the snow. Why this is bad: More opportunities for Bolaris to say “snow job.”

John Bolaris Is A Real Person With Real Feelings

Even now, it’s tough to know what to make of John Bolaris. He clearly wants our attention—why else take a Philly.com gig and make jokes about his Miami “do shot” experience during a snowstorm live chat—but he doesn’t like it when people point out the weirdness of it all.

So let’s agree, John Bolaris is large. He contains multitudes. He has the right to want your attention and the right to not like how you give it to him, but also the right to use the fact that you’re giving it to him for bad reasons as a sign that, yes, you’re giving him attention. This is, in fact, probably about as consistent as any of us really tends to be. And if John Bolaris would get comfortable in being ignored, that’s probably where it would end.

Seems unlikely, though.

Anyway, he’s on an epic-length—more than two hours!—podcast over at Crossing Broad, and he takes a few minutes (about 43 minutes in) to discuss being a Philadelphia punching bag, and (ahem) a Philly Mag punching bag in particular.
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John Bolaris Writes Un-Ironic Column Attacking Bad Role Models

Every time John Bolaris decides to poke his skull-capped head into the pages of the Metro, it’s a special little treat. Well today’s treat has proven extra sweet. In it, for no apparent reason, Bolaris grinds his axe against Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian for their immature and irresponsible behavior.

Wow, such a good role model for the kids. You too could make a porn tape, make millions and eventually get a fake butt perfectly designed to your derriere.If Kim had all the talent in the world, made a tape, but was fat and ugly, her name would have never surfaced. This is the lopsided so-called equality in our country. We are brainwashed people.

It’s not just Kim’s fault, though!

I’m talking about the media. We want trash, juicy gossip, bad boys, bad girls, train wrecks, sexual exploits, celebrity break-ups, celebrity melt downs, celebrities pants down, crotch shots, drunken shots, screaming shots and the almighty celebrity sex tape…

Come to think of it, sounds like he’s delivering a subtle little jab at all the media coverage generated by his own roofie-fueled, babe-filled train wreck in Miami. If he’s aware enough to see the link between media coverage of LiLo’s meltdown and his own, you’d think he’d see the connection between Lohan and himself… Anyways, there you have it, folks: John Bolaris is wagging his finger at “bad role models.”

[Metro]

John Bolaris’s Latest Twitter Freakout

There are a few things you can count on these days — taxes, talk of whether Donovan McNabb puked in the Super Bowl, and John Bolaris Twitter freakouts. Over the weekend, the between-gigs meteorologist/social media addict issued the following statement:

That’s usually called a “blind item” in the gossip biz, save for one detail — Bolaris mentioned the initials of the offending sportscaster (subtle, he is not). It didn’t take long for his followers to ask whether the “MB” in question is Comcast SportsNet anchor and WIP host Michael Barkann, which Bolaris quickly confirmed. What, we wondered, could have offended the former Fox 29 weatherman, who was last seen threatening to “kick the loser ass” of a former business partner? Can this burned bridge be rebuilt? Should Barkann hire a bodyguard?

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