The Gastronaut: Notes of Honey, Pine Needles and Regret

Illustration by Kagan McLeod

Illustration by Kagan McLeod

Sure, sure. The holidays are a time for togetherness. For family. For stuffing yourself full of food and then passing out on the couch. But they’re also a time for drinking — both the joyous, let’s-give-a-toast-to-the-season kind, and the more common (and occasionally much more satisfying) let’s-just-have-another-drink-and-see-if-we-can-get-through-this kind.

Which is why I’ve assembled this list of ideal pairings for a variety of holiday-specific foods and scenarios you might be faced with in the coming weeks. So here’s what to pair with …

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Why Is it Okay to Scorn the Overweight on Halloween?

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

The Internet has blown up over the story of a woman who says she will give some trick-or-treaters a letter instead of candy for Halloween.

The letter would only be given to children the woman believes are “moderately obese.” So if your child wears clothes marked Husky, this woman sends him home with a letter that reads, “Your child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.”

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Foobooz PSA: The Ng and Cohen Candy Hierarchy

So tonight is Halloween. And while there are plenty of bars and restaurants out there doing cool stuff for those of you who find yourselves too old to reasonably go door-to-door begging for candy and yet still unencumbered by children, there are still plenty of you out there who will be wandering the neighborhoods this evening knocking on doors and collecting sugary goodness (again, hopefully with your children in tow).

It is for you that the right honorable messrs. Ng and Cohen have developed, over the course of several years, the Candy Hierarchy–a peer-reviewed and exhaustively researched chart describing the “systematics that define a candy taxonomy in order of desirability and with the expressed idea of maximizing…joy.”

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