Our Friendly Debate With Dr. Timaree Schmit on Grindr, Open Relationships, and the Fuzzy Areas of Electronic Communication


Via Shutterstock

Via Shutterstock

A few weeks ago, I wrote an opinion piece on gay couples who go on Grindr for additional action. Needless to say, the reaction from our readers was pretty intense, everything from impassioned, angry disapproval to folks saying that I was single-handedly destroying the gay community, to threats of physical violence against me (I wish I was kidding about the last one, but, sadly, it is true).

Then, of course, there was the fabulous Dr. Timaree Schmit, sex educator and author, who thought it would be a swell move for the two of us to have a civil debate about the opinion piece and discuss where I may have offended folks. I gladly took her up on her offer, and our talk was truly productive and enlightening. We opened up our discussion to Twitter and asked for questions as we went along. What follows is a transcript of our chat.

BB: I honestly don’t think I’ve ever written anything that got this kind of a crazy response, from all sides. I’ve heard just about everything.

TS: I actually had my own reaction before seeing how much heat you got. It was surprising for me to see the vitriol. Were you surprised?

BB: Yes. Very much so. I’ve been writing this gay dating series for about a month now and I truly thought this was right on the same page as the other pieces. If anything, the discussions I’ve been having are opening up so many questions for me. What was your reaction?

TS: I read it and felt a mixture of feelings. From my professional perspective, I felt like it was one person’s opinion and that it was simply a matter of wanting the rest of the world to operate using the same lens you have. From a personal perspective, I felt quite judged. Even if it’s not intentional, it’s hard to discuss other people’s comparable sexual openness without sounding a little judgmental because our culture is so sex negative. Read more »

Former Philly Artist Pens Grindr Opera

Photo via Facebook.

Erik Ransom | Photo via Facebook.

No, it’s not Verdi, but the plot of GRINDR: The Opera reads like something you’d find staged at Opera Philadelphia or The Met (and we think that iPhones would be allowed throughout the performance). From the synopsis:

We meet GRINDR, a mythical siren from remote antiquity who has been awoken from her millennial slumber by technology. Her power, which is derived from human lust, is exhibited as she manipulates her gay devotees in a soaring soprano…GRINDR: The Opera is entirely sung-through and intended to be staged with a cast of five actors: The four men and the Siren, GRINDR, who is intended to be a masked man in drag.

Read more »

WATCH: Gay Couples Reenact Crazy Grindr Messages

I have a confession: I’ve never used Grindr. My husband and I started dating almost 11 years ago, way before the gay-dating was a twinkle in the gay community’s eye. So I’ve just never had any use for it. I do, however, get a kick out of some of your Instagram and Facebook posts, you know, the screen captures that show funny, bizarre, and downright blush-worthy messages that show up on your screen from other users.

This new video, by TrentandLuke on YouTube, goes a step further, asking gay couples to reenact crazy Grindr conversations. It’s pretty funny, and the couples are so cute. Check it out below. Oh, and I wouldn’t blare this too loud if you’re at work, btw.

Philly Man Uses Grindr and Scruff to Search for Missing Cat

UPDATE [12/8/2014, 7:25 p.m.]: Jack the Grindr Cat was found! Details here.


The adorable baby boy pictured above is Jack; he’s a 10-year old Turkish Bengal cat who went missing several days ago in the Washington Square West neighborhood of the city (10th and Spruce, to be exact). If Jack looks familiar, it might be because you saw him, not wandering the streets, but on Grindr and Scruff.

Yes, you read that right. Read more »

WATCH THIS: Alec Baldwin Gets Schooled on Grindr and Scruff

Alec Baldwin and couple Toby and Brian on Alec Baldwin's Love Ride.

Alec Baldwin and couple Toby and Brian on Alec Baldwin’s Love Ride.

Let’s face it: Alec Baldwin hasn’t had the most glorious reputation within the gay community, especially after his rather grotesque homophobic Twitter rant back in 2013. However, on his new web series titled Alec Baldwin’s Love Ride, he recently provided some half-ass relationship advice to a rather adorable gay couple, and got schooled on the differences between Grindr and Scruff. Read more »

GAGGING: Judge Judy Hears Her First Case On Grindr

Judge Judy

It was bound to happen: everyone’s favorite daytime television courtroom mama, Judge Judy, finally heard a case involving Grindr and money, and, to use her words, it was a bunch of baloney.  After listening to the arguments of the plaintiff and defendant, it’s pretty clear this was a Sugar Daddy meet-up gone wrong, and Judy cut right to the B.S.

But first, someone had to explain to her what Grindr is… Read more »

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