A few weeks ago, I wrote an opinion piece on gay couples who go on Grindr for additional action. Needless to say, the reaction from our readers was pretty intense, everything from impassioned, angry disapproval to folks saying that I was single-handedly destroying the gay community, to threats of physical violence against me (I wish I was kidding about the last one, but, sadly, it is true).
Then, of course, there was the fabulous Dr. Timaree Schmit, sex educator and author, who thought it would be a swell move for the two of us to have a civil debate about the opinion piece and discuss where I may have offended folks. I gladly took her up on her offer, and our talk was truly productive and enlightening. We opened up our discussion to Twitter and asked for questions as we went along. What follows is a transcript of our chat.
BB: I honestly don’t think I’ve ever written anything that got this kind of a crazy response, from all sides. I’ve heard just about everything.
TS: I actually had my own reaction before seeing how much heat you got. It was surprising for me to see the vitriol. Were you surprised?
BB: Yes. Very much so. I’ve been writing this gay dating series for about a month now and I truly thought this was right on the same page as the other pieces. If anything, the discussions I’ve been having are opening up so many questions for me. What was your reaction?
TS: I read it and felt a mixture of feelings. From my professional perspective, I felt like it was one person’s opinion and that it was simply a matter of wanting the rest of the world to operate using the same lens you have. From a personal perspective, I felt quite judged. Even if it’s not intentional, it’s hard to discuss other people’s comparable sexual openness without sounding a little judgmental because our culture is so sex negative. Read more »