How Old Does Microsoft Think These 15 Philly Drag Queens Are?

Microsoft has created the website equivalent to one of those carnival attractions that claims to be able to guess your age and weight. “How Old Do I Look” uses “state-of-the-art, cloud-based algorithms” to decipher human faces, guess their age, and taunt the gay community for eternity.

Gay Star News gave it a test run (and veered into dangerous territory) using photos of 18 gay icons. The results were a little off-base. The site guessed Christina Aguilera was 48 (14 years older than what it guessed for Cher!), Ellen was 64 (even with all that Cover Girl!?) and Madonna was 27 (it must have confused her with her boyfriends.)

I wanted to tinker with it, too, and I thought “What better way than to use Philly drag queens?!” That couldn’t get me into any trouble at all, right? It’s all fun and games, people, and Microsoft even admits that they’re still working to improve the feature. So without further adieu, Microsoft attempts to guess the ages of some of our most popular drag queens:



Try it out for yourself here.

WATCH: The Awesome Tina Fey/M. Night Shyamalan Mashup We Never Knew We Wanted

Two local heroes, Tina Fey and M. Night Shyamalan, collide in this awesome mashup from Staten Island comedy/party outfit Super Secret Show. They’ve taken the catchy opening song to Fey’s Netflix comedy Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and mixed it with clips from Shyamalan’s 2000, Bruce Willis-starring thriller Unbreakable. They call it “Unbreakable Bruce Willis,” naturally.

Check it out above, and good luck getting it out of your head later.

(h/t Vulture)

WATCH: NJ Woman Channels Flo Rida on Dining Out for Life Rap

A New Jersey woman is channeling Flo Rida in a new parody video in which she raps about why you should take part in tonight’s Dining Out for Life event.

Jade Gasper altered the words to Flo Rida’s “G.D.F.R (Goin’ Down For Real),” spitting rhymes like “Ordered just one app? You should have ordered five! / Get a few entrees but leave lots of room for pie.”

Check out the video above, and see her in person tonight a Villari’s Lakeside Restaurant & Bar in South Jersey, where she’ll be bopping from table to table asking for donations—and making sure you order dessert.

This year is the 25th anniversary of Dining Out for Life, the annual fundraiser where restaurants in the region donate 33 percent of every check to a variety of regional HIV/AIDS service organizations, including ActionAIDS, AIDS Delaware, and Planned Parenthood of Southeastern Pennsylvania. See a full list of participating restaurants here.

Amy Schumer Tells Press She and Bradley Cooper Are Engaged

Amy Schumer, whose new show Inside Amy Schumer debuted Tuesday night, was pulling all kinds of crazy shenanigans on the red carpet of last night’s Time 100 gala in New York City. You likely saw this on social media, where she pretended to fall flat on her face in front of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West:

But Kimye weren’t the only celebrities subject to her buffoonery: Bradley Cooper got a taste of it, too. According to Business Insider, she started heckling the Jenkintown star right as he walked onto the red carpet, yelling his name like one of the fans waiting in line to see him. Cooper finally gave her a hug and posed for a photograph, but when he left, she told the press line that, “We’re engaged!”

Read more »

WATCH: Zombie Flash Mob Terrorize Philadelphians All Over the City

Dev prodüksiyonlu zombi şakası insanları böyle korkuttu.

Posted by Hürriyet TV on Friday, April 10, 2015

Turkish entertainment website Hürriyet TV recently released this video on their Facebook page, showing a flash mob of zombies terrorizing Philadelphia. We’ve seen videos like this filmed in Philly before—but never with a whole freakin’ mob, which is probably why it genuinely scared people shitless.

The horde show up in random places all over the city. Check out the video to see them lurking from beneath a bridge in Fairmount Park, in the plaza of City Hall and even down one of those cramped, cobblestone streets in, I’m guessing, Old City.

Couple Go Viral With Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Pregnancy Announcement

A couple from Oregon wrote and recorded a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song parody that effectively dropped the news to their family and friends that they’re expecting.

The video has since gone viral, being viewed on YouTube over 1.6 million times. The song, originally penned and performed by Philly rap duo DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, includes so-bad-they’re-good lyrics, like “I woke up in the morning about 7 or 8 and thought to myself, ‘Oh man, I’m late! ’Looked at the test stick, it was finally there. A little plus sign—we’re now three, not a pair.”

Check it out above; everyone else in the world did.

Grown Men Mourn Zayn Malik’s Departure from One Direction

Philly’s Dave and Brian, the goofballs who brought you “Downton Abbey With My Bros,” are back with another self-deprecating video that finds them mourning and crooning over the departure of Zayn Malik from U.K. boy band One Direction.

“No need to hide your emotions. Everyone has been deeply affected by Zayn Malik’s departure from One Direction. Teenage girls aren’t the only ones who can fangirl,” they write on their YouTube post.

They’ve come up with an original song, “I Need You In My Life,” that’s sung to the tune of 1D’s “Story of My Life.” It starts like this:

“Listen to the sound of the people who cry for you, Zayn / 1D will keep going, but I know that it won’t be the same / You left without a warning, now you say you’re making music on your own / I see your tweets and hit reply, but tears just keep falling on my phone.”

And it only gets sillier from there. Check out the full video above.

Meet the Philly Man Who Played “Keanu” in Point Break Live

Point Break Live Philadelphia

From left: Jo-Anne Lee (Keanu handler/stunt double), Bob Babjak (Keanu fill-in plucked from the audience) and Michael Christoforo (Bodhi) at Point Break Live at Underground Arts last weekend. (Photo: Dan McQuade)

“My name is Johnny Utah,” the man on stage said. Everyone at Underground Arts screamed the next line along with him. “I am an FBI agent!

The man on stage was Bob Babjak, a freelance copywriter in Philadelphia. Last Saturday night, he was playing “Keanu” at Point Break Live, a parody of the 1991 action/bank heist/surfing/skydiving film. The movie stars Keanu Reeves as Johnny Utah — a former Ohio State quarterback-turned-rookie FBI agent — tasked to investigate a sting of bank robberies committed by surfers wearing president masks.

The conceit of the stage show, written in 2003 by Jamie Keeling, is that Keanu didn’t show up to play the lead in that night’s performance. But the show must go on, and so the role of Keanu is cast from the audience right there. People who audition have to read two lines and perform a physical feat. Read more »

WATCH: Martha Stewart Roast Kevin Hart

Videos from the Justin Bieber roast on Comedy Central are surfacing online, and this one finds the queen of all things domestic roasting the you-know-what out of the show’s host Kevin Hart. In the most deadpan way possible, she takes the Philly-bred comedian to task for blowing a chunk of his first big paycheck on a watch. “I forget the term for that … it’s not African American rich. It’ll come to me,” she says.

Later she shows her vulgar side when she tells Ludacris, a father of three by three different women, to “try pulling out sometime and finishing on some fine, highly absorbent Martha Stewart bed linens.” Check out the quick clip above.

6 Top Places to See Comedy in Philadelphia

Performers with the N Crowd | Photo by Katie Reing

Performers with the N Crowd | Photo by Katie Reing

Where to Get In On the Action

The N Crowd, 257 North 3rd Street, Old City
215-253-4276, www.phillyncrowd.com

The N Crowd specializes in short-form improv comedy, the kind that you might know from Whose Line Is It Anyway?. Following a few simple rules and based on audience suggestions, the performers put together hilarious sketches out of thin air. Participation is very much encouraged, both by the small room and by the possibility of getting a free ticket, so don’t be afraid to shout something out or even volunteer to go onstage.

Where to See a Big Star in a Small Room

Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom Street, Rittenhouse Square
215-496-9001, www.heliumcomedy.com

Helium is the simplest kind of comedy club: round tables, two-drink minimum, low lights, and comics saying funny things into a microphone. What makes it stand out is that, on a regular basis, those comics are television stars and nationally famous standups. Over the years they’ve played home to Norm MacDonald, Kevin Nealon, Patrice O’Neal, and Demetri Martin. Helium also hosts open mics and features local talent, so don’t feel pressured to shell out for the biggest names—often the unknowns are the funniest of all.

Where to See Old-School Standup

Comedy Cabaret, 11580 Roosevelt Boulevard, Northeast
215-676-5653, www.comedycabaret.com

It’s a small room in a hotel bar in a Ramada Inn in the Northeast, so the Comedy Cabaret is not exactly the place to go for glamour. But the headliners are usually experienced pros, sometimes with national appeal, and the openers tend to be local up-and-comers. It’s a good place to go for no-frills, unfiltered standup that makes you laugh—and you never know, you might be the first to spot a diamond in the rough.

comedysportzWhere to Bring the Kids

ComedySportz, 2030 Sansom Street, Rittenhouse Square
877-985-2844, www.comedysportzphilly.com

If you think “clean comedy” is bland, smiley, and unfunny, then you clearly haven’t seen ComedySportz. These skilled improv performers are sometimes sharp and sometimes goofy, but they’re pretty much always hilarious. To be sure, the sports uniforms and whistles are a little kitschy, but get into the spirit of it and no matter how old you are, you’ll be shouting and cheering in no time (it doesn’t hurt that the venue is BYOB).

Where to See Comedy’s Cutting Edge

Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom Street, Rittenhouse Square
267-233-1556, www.phillyimprovtheater.com

PHIT, as it’s affectionately known, showcases every kind of comedy, from sketch and standup to improv and innovative forms (like A Few Short Answers, a monthly gonzo game show). As the name might suggest, though, PHIT really excels at improv—in particular, it’s the best place in town to catch a long-form improv show, where performers improvise long scenes or even whole plays based on a few audience suggestions.

Where to Get Cozy with the Comics

Crazy Cow, 4414 Main Street, Manayunk
267-368-6379, www.scoopermanwaterice.com

Crazy Cow is not exactly a typical comedy club. In fact, it’s not a comedy club at all. It’s an ice cream shop and restaurant. But on Friday and Saturday nights, in a tiny upstairs lounge, local standups perform their best stuff for an appreciative audience. The comics change night t -night, so you can never be sure what you’ll get, but no matter what it makes for a cheap date and a good story. The ice cream isn’t bad, either.

Scene from a Mask & Wig Club performance | Photo by Evan Robinson Photography

Scene from a Mask and Wig Club performance | Photo by Evan Robinson Photography

Where to Relive Your College Days

Mask and Wig, 310 South Quince Street, Midtown Village
215-716-7378, www.maskandwig.com

Every year, this venerable society of Penn kids set aside midterms and binge-drinking to put on a full-length comedy musical—which they wrote from scratch. Without fail, the production is professional, the singing is passable, and the jokes bring down the house (which just happens to be a beautiful old theater). Some nights, the audience will largely consist of very vocally enthusiastic Penn students, but that only contributes to the experience.

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