Riley Cooper. Photo | Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports
The NFL is about to venture down a rabbit hole of political correctness that is lined with hypocrisy. The league is seriously considering forcing its referees to not only officiate the play on the field, but the language too.
Call it the Riley Cooper rule.
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Congratulations, 25-year-old Nicholas Foles on your recent engagement. And for perpetuating the strange phenomenon of athletes marrying younger than the rest of the general population. (29 for men.) From his fiancee’s instagram:
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Last night Philly’s funny man and impressionist extraordinaire Joe Conklin and WIP on-air sports savant and Wing Bowl creator Al Morganti presented the “The First Annual Philly Sports Roast” at the Crystal Tea Room. More than 600 people filled the room to see former Eagle and NFL bad boy Terrell Owens roasted by media personalities, politicians, former and current Eagle players, and Damon Feldman.
In a no-holds-barred night, everything was on the table: marriages, baby mamas (four), salaries, tights, his big ego and even, shockingly, suicide attempts. Proceeds from the evening went to firefighters support organization All Hands Working.
A couple of the zingers at the event: “Former Eagles defensive tackle Hollis Thomas is here tonight. Look at that guy. Hollis, are you OK? You’re sweating profusely. I haven’t seen someone sweat this much since Freddie Mitchell’s tax audit.” And: “Joe Conklin, Man of 1,000 voices, and he can’t get laid in any of them.”
More of Hughe’s photos and account from the First Annual Philly Sports Roast after the jump »
Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports
You’ve seen him dominate on the field, sure, but here’s one place you probably wouldn’t expect to find Philadelphia Eagles tight end Brent Celek: at a Pure Barre class.
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Instead of presenting a long list of reasons the Eagles should draft Michael Sam, the Mizzou offensive lineman who came out of the closet on Sunday and stands to be the first openly gay player in the NFL, let me present two words:
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AP: “The lawyer for Hugh Douglas says the former NFL defensive end will plead no contest to a misdemeanor to resolve a Connecticut case that accused him of assaulting his girlfriend at a Hartford hotel. The attorney, Corey Brinson, told The Associated Press on Friday that he expects Douglas to plead to breach of peace and avoid a jail sentence Monday in Hartford.” Douglas played much of his career with the Eagles.
We here at Shoppist are passionate about sports. This probably comes across in posts like this (it can be cold out there on the field!) and this. So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that today, in honor of the Super Bowl which we hear is on Sunday, we compiled a complete ranking of all the teams in the NFL. We spent countless hours deliberating and, yes, sometimes it got heated. But after filtering each team through the same set of considerations (use of color, use of graphics, proper employment of metallics, font choice, neckline, helmet design, execution of figure-flattering design i.e. stripes on leg, and shoe choice) we are proud to present you with The Official Ranking Of Every Team Uniform In The NFL. (Also, if you’re a betting reader, you might want to take into consideration our number one choice. A good-looking uniform goes a long way. Just sayin’.) Go team!
#1 Seattle Seahawks
The Super Bowl contenders win for their bold use of neon, which stands out on the field and gives a streamlined, athletic look. Bonus for the detail on the outer thigh, and the splash of neon on the shoe. "It creates a cohesive look," says an editor.
#2 Jacksonville Jaguars, Helmet Detail
The Jaguars easily take second place thanks to their fantastic helmets, which have distinct Cartier leanings, and display an awesome use of matte black, which fades into a shimmery gold metallic. We would actually wear this out, if, you know, helmets were a thing.
#2 Jacksonville Jaguars
We also love the Jaguars' matte black uniforms. They feel very modern, and are refreshingly free of jarring colors.
#3 Arizona Cardinals
This is a great use of monochromatic color. It's a streamlined look, and it's a beautiful shade of red.
#4 New Orleans Saints
The Saints run into fourth place for their use of metallic, and the way the stripe on the helmets reflects the stripe on the pants.
#5 St. Louis Rams
One of the best fonts in the league: It marries the modern athleticism of the NFL with retro '70s flair.
#6 San Diego Chargers
Best use of graphics. We love the curved line on the leg, which seems to silhouette the leg muscle, and the design on the shoulders.
#7 Cincinnati Bengals
The only team in the league to embrace animal print. We love it.
#8 Kansas City Chiefs
Though the white will get dirty very quickly, it creates a perfect contrast to the bright red numbers. Also, cute knee socks.
#9 Oakland Raiders
With their simple black and pale silver color combo, the Raiders are basically the LBD of the NFL. Keep it classy, guys.
#10 Tennessee Titans
The Titans show that pops of color don't need to contrast: The cornflower blue pairs perfectly with deep navy.
#11 Denver Broncos
The boomerang shape of the leg detail recalls the Nike swoosh. Smart, as Nike is the official uniform designer of the NFL. Also: Great employment of colorblocking.
#12 Dallas Cowboys
There's something to be said for metallic that doesn't overshadow the rest of the uniform.
#13 Buffalo Bills
White pants are a bold choice, but a dark set of stripes on the side creates a slimming illusion.
#14 Houston Texans
White pants seem to be everpresent in the NFL. The Texans realize that a classic, skinny navy pant never goes out of style.
#15 Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles fly into the top half of our ranking, but unfortunately for them, that green shade (Is it forest? Teal?) just isn't flattering on everyone.
#16 Atlanta Falcons
The strong red sock-white pant-red jersey is an example of expert colorblocking. With all those colors below the neck, it's smart that they kept the helmet sleek.
#17 New England Patriots
It's patriotic without being cheesy. Also: Tom Brady.
#18 Minnesota Vikings
The purple would have worked better if it had been paired with a stronger contrasting color. Also, that V-neck skews more wimpy hipster than NFL tough.
#19 Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens' hot pink shoes—which they wore for breast cancer awareness—makes us feel better about their ho-hum uniforms.
#19 Baltimore Ravens
Here's a full look at the uniforms. Blah.
#20 San Francisco 49ers
We'd expect a gold pant to have a stronger presence, but with a white jersey and weak red accents, the look falls flat.
#21 Detroit Lions
We have to give them credit for using a fun color, but the knee-pad look cuts off the leg, which gives the illusion of stumpy pins.
#22 Pittsburgh Steelers
Um, wimpy font much? With the bright pant and simple white top, you'd expect the numbers to make more of an impact. Alas, they just feel puny.
#23 New York Giants
This is a prime example of how to stump-ify the leg. And maybe they should take a cue from the Cardinals if they really want to use red.
#24 Carolina Panthers
While we appreciate the slimming effect of the tapered accent on the leg, the blue accent color feels jarring, and like it belongs on another uniform.
#25 Indianapolis Colts
We're not fans of the double shoulder stripe. It makes the uniform feel dated.
#26 New York Jets
Like the Eagles, the green color of the Jets is far from flattering, and the cut of the shirt feels like they shoved some shoulder pads underneath a soccer jersey.
#27 Cleveland Browns
Could there be a more uninspiring color than brown? Also, the color combination feels totally dated, and not in a cool retro way.
#28 Chicago Bears
Another case of puny font. Guys, a too-small number just makes your torso look wide and bulky.
#29 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Worst. Pant Color. Ever.
#30 Washington Redskins
Paging Ronald McDonald.
#31 Green Bay Packers
The Packers exemplify how to ruin a classic uniform with poor color choices.
#32 Miami Dolphins
And here, the most unstylish uniform in the NFL. The turquoise and orange combo feels horrifically '80s, the pants make the legs look stumpy, and the shoes are completely uninspired.
The Inquirer reports that the Eagles are ready to pursue hosting a Super Bowl—provided this weekend’s cold-weather matchup in New Jersey doesn’t turn out to be a frozen disaster for the NFL. Team president Don Smolenski says he’s ready to give it a try.
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The Philadelphia Eagles announced today a partnership with Panasonic for enormous, ridiculous new video boards. “Our fans deserve the ultimate experience every time they step foot into Lincoln Financial Field,” Eagles Chairman/CEO Jeffrey Lurie said in a statement, which sounds a lot more realistic after the impressive 2013 season.
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Philadelphia, just 90 minutes away from Super Bowl XLVIII, had to make its mark on the big game somehow. Philadelphia man Eugene Fladger, along with a co-conspirator from New York, have been charged with hawking fake Super Bowl tickets.
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