For Don Draper, Reality Bites — Hard

Season 6 of Mad Men ended last night with Don Draper (Jon Hamm) descending to the ninth circle of hell. The question is, will he stay there, and do we care anymore?

After six seasons of watching Droopy Don satisfy all his primal urges without regard to truth or consequence, reality came back to not only bite him in the ass, but to swallow him whole. Brother, did he earn it.

A full-blown alcoholic, he spends a night in the drunk tank. His emotionally battered wife walks out. He falls apart at a pitch meeting for Hershey’s chocolate. The Sterling Cooper partners order him to go on leave, with no return date.

No wonder the blurb for this episode, titled “In Care Of,” presented the storyline thusly: “Don has a problem.” Ya think?

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America Is Just Like Westeros!

My husband isn’t a Game of Thrones guy. When he comes home from work, he really just wants to watch a movie he’s already seen a number of times, so it’s easier for him to follow. I came home the other night and found him sitting in front of The Prince of Tides. “Doug,” I said. “We just watched this freaking movie. Wednesday night when I came home, you were watching The Prince of Tides.”

“So? It’s a good movie,” he said, and that was the only defense he made. Read more »

The Five Huge Mistakes in Arrested Development’s New Season

I’m now just over halfway through watching Season 4 of Arrested Development — the much-anticipated Netflix treat we’ve been begging for since 2006, when the show first “ended.” So far, I’ve seen individual episodes receive more post-action analysis than an Eagles game, but I haven’t seen a collective evaluation of fan response to Arrested‘s latest iteration. Should we have been careful what we wished for? Or is this actually filling the void Seasons 1 through 3 left behind?

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United States Close To Being Sold For Scrap. (Yes, We’re Talking About The Ship.)

After years of bringing a bit of character the skyline near Ikea, it appears the SS United States is finally running out of time. AP reports: “The 990-foot-long ship could be sold for scrap within two months unless the grass-roots preservation group that’s working to secure a home and purpose for it can raise $500,000 immediately, the group told The Associated Press. Talks are under way with developers and investors about the ship’s long-term future, but without the emergency funding, its caretakers fear they will run out of money before a deal is inked.”  It’s a sad end for a big, noble ship, but it’s probably better than to leave her rusting in the water for perpetuity.

Dolce & Gabbana Baby Perfume: For Your Sexiest Infant

Why not? CBS 3 reports: “High end fashion house Dolce & Gabbana claims they’ve bottled the sweet smell of an infant in its new fragrance “per I bambini” which means “for the children” in Italian and is said to be inspired by the smell of baby’s breath. Patricia Dalton of Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia says like other baby products, the new perfume probably won’t have alcohol or the harsh chemicals found in adult fragrances. “Putting fragrances on babies is not really new. What’s new about this is that there’s no other function except to fragrance the baby,”

In our experience, babies already have intense smells that come with them—either that powdery freshness that only babies have, even when they haven’t been powdered in awhile—or like poop. Lots and lots of angry, angry poop. So the perfume should be nicer than that at least.

Local Drag Cabaret Act Uninvited From School for Being “Inappropriate”

Haddonfield Child Care, a New Jersey after-school program for elementary school kids, booked local drag outfit Martha Graham Cracker Cabaret, to add a “little variety” to an upcoming Dr. Seuss Tribute. Then, mysteriously, a few “powers-that-be” types put the kibosh on the whole thing. Because they’re a drag band? Because Martha is gay? Because…why? Head on over to G Philly to read m ore about the strange reversal. (And brewing blogo-twitter-war?) [Disclosure: Martha Graham Cracker's Cabaret's band leader, who features prominently in the hubbub, is a reporter for the Philly Post.] [G Philly]

Republic Crumbles As Nation Learns Beyonce’s Anthem Was Lip-Synched

Remember yesterday when we were all stunned and moved by Beyonce’s rendition of the National Anthem? Forget that. Turns out Beyonce lip-synched the anthem, which everybody knows must be performed live or else lose its meaning. “All music is pre-recorded for the ceremony because there are so many eventualities and conditions that day,” said Kristin DuBois, a representative for the U.S. Marine band that (ahem) “accompanied” her. “We performed, live, the band. But we received last-minute word that Beyonce was going to use the pre-recorded vocal track. Those were the instructions we were given. We don’t know what the (sic) reason why.” All we know is that there is nothing real or true anymore. [New York Post]

VIDEO: Jerry Seinfeld Made a Rap Album in Philadelphia. Really.

Right now is a good time to go remix all of Jerry Seinfeld’s old routines into the modern language of hip-hop. “What’s the deal with that wiggety-wiggety-wiggety-wack airplane food?” (Admittedly, that’s actually the 20-year-old language of hip-hop. Getting old sucks.)  Seinfeld is beating you to the punch, coming down to Philly to (really!) record an rap album with Wale, who just happens to be his wife’s favorite artist. The album, called #Nothing, will be released soon. See the video below of Seinfeld talking, in his inimitable Seinfeld fashion, about the project. [Crossing Broad]

Questo Reveals Lineup for Roots Picnic

Sure, it’s freezing outside. Warm yourself, though, to thoughts of shaking your thang at this summer’s Root’s Picnic. Questlove unveiled the lineup Tuesday morning via Twitter:

Naughty By Nature is still performing? Amazing. Also on the bill: Gary Clark Jr., Solange, Robert Glasper, DJ Premier, and several artists who use dollar signs to spell the letter “S” in their names. Should be fun!

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