This week marks the tenth anniversary of the Friends finale, which I remember watching on the night I moved back on with my parents after a failed attempt at dormitory living. Surrounded by a mini-fridge, garbage bags full of West Chester University gear and a crate of Early Childhood Education textbooks that I would later sell on eBay, I bid adieu to Ross, Monica, Rachel, Joey, Chandler and Phoebe.
I wept when Chandler and Monica had their twins. I wept when Ross and Rachel reunited (SPOILER ALERT: She got off the plane), and I wept when Joey and Phoebe bought a chick and a duck for Monica and Chandler. It sounds silly but I was so sad to be losing these characters who I’d come to think of as, well, friends.
Throughout my life — and thanks to the glorious world of syndicated television — these six characters had been constants through high school break-ups, fights with my best girl friends and the beginning of college. They gave me glimpse at what adulthood had to offer — and made me excited about my future (which I presumed would include enormous apartments, endless coffee shop hangs and a lot of baby Ts). I grew up watching them grow up and Friends remains one of the most comforting shows to me. (Thank goodness for the seemingly endless loop of reruns playing on TBS every day.)
The older I get, the more relatable I find Friends. Unlike other zeitgeisty shows like Sex and the City and Dawson’s Creek, which feel dated and immature, Friends is a show that only becomes more relevant to me as I grow older and find myself in situations similar to the characters. Of course, the only problem is that the gang is in New York while I squander my days away in Philadelphia.
What would my beloved friends do in Philadelphia? I have a few thoughts …
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I’ll be the first to admit that the probably-expired yogurt in my fridge has more culture than I do. I barely made it out of Art History 101 alive, the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word “symphony” is the candy bar, and most of my exposure to opera has come in the form of commercials for canned ravioli. That’s not to say that I don’t consume massive amounts of culture on the daily — it’s just not the classy, smart-people-at-an-erudite-cocktail-party kind. It’s more the kind with Jason Statham.
I felt a little out of my league during a recent visit to the Barnes Foundation, which is approaching its second anniversary in its controversial new space on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway. Not having visited the original Merion location prior to its relocation, I was wowed by the intricacies of the idiosyncratic layout of each room, to say nothing of the tremendous work itself.
Of course, since I know very little about any of the incredibly important artists represented in the collection, I felt my brain turning the reins over to the neurons responsible for rotting it. I began noting every portrait that bore even the slightest resemblance to a dumb celebrity or personality, writing the names of the pieces down in my notebook with a pen, until security flexed on me and insisted I use a tiny golf pencil instead. The results are laid out for you after the jump.
I was having fun, but I felt like a total moron — but then I overheard a tourist telling his wife that the dark, disturbing work of morose expressionist Chaim Soutine reminded him of Rod Serling’s Night Gallery. We immediately became best friends, forever, in my head.
I’m sorry Dr. Barnes.
Meet the Barnes Foundation’s Celebrity Twinsies »
Sochi Olympic correspondent duo Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski have been hired by NBC to provide commentary on the fashion at next week’s Kentucky Derby. From AP:
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Is it true that Ellen’s much-retweeted Oscar selfie is actually worth between $800,000 and $1 billion? From NBC News:
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Teresa Giudice and husband Joe are off the hook on at least one of their run-ins with the law: bankruptcy. According to TMZ, the pair agreed to pay a mere $7,500 to creditors, which cleared them of over $13 million in debts. What’s more fascinating, though, is court documents released during the process that reveal some of the Real Housewives stars pricey possessions:
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Miami-based DJ Tracy Young — most known for spinning Madonna and Guy Richie’s wedding party in 2000, and (sorry, Tracy) being the woman who briefly turned Kim Zolciak bisexual on Real Housewives of Atlanta — is coming to Philadelphia this weekend to spin the second go-round of Bruce Yelk’s new bi-weekly rager, bi at Sundown. In anticipation, I called her up one day to ask her 15 quick, fun questions. In the course of about 20 minutes I learned that she’s nuts for Miley Cyrus, not so nuts for Gaga, and, heads up, ladies, she’s single and open to mingling.
Interview after the jump
Los Angeles-based standup comedian Rob Delaney is bringing his signature absurd, disgusting shtick to the Trocadero on Friday, March 28th. He’s been called the funniest person on Twitter by Rolling Stone and Comedy Central. His tweets cover a range of topics from convincing us he’s not a virgin to timely political commentary to some truly nauseating quips about his neighbor Karen.
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Check out Wilmington weirdo (in a great way) and Parks and Recreation star Aubrey Plaza in this twisted parody of a Ring Pop commercial. Things go from ’80s-tastic to awkwardly disturbing in about a minute (and it’s kind of fantastic.)
Get ready to get freaky, American Horror Story (AHS) fans. After what seemed like a lifetime of anticipation, AHS creator Ryan Murphy finally gave us a glimpse at Season 4, when he took to Twitter to reveal that the next iteration of the anthology series will be subtitled “Freak Show.” While very little is known about the upcoming season, EW.com just revealed a few other morsels that are quite delicious.
According to the site, American Horror Story: Freak Show will be set in Jupiter, Fla., in 1950 and have recurring AHS diva Jessica Lange playing a German ex-pat who will be managing one of the last freak shows in the U.S. If that isn’t juicy enough, her flock of freaks is set to include recurring AHS players Frances Conroy, Angela Bassett, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, and Evan Peters. It is also rumored that Denis O’Hare and Emma Roberts are also in talks to return for another AHS romp. Below we take a stab at what characters this lineup of stars could play.
While anticipation will be high in the months leading up to the new season, we can’t forget that this is rumored to be the last for Lange. Murphy has always pulled out all the shocking stops when it comes to AHS, so I’m sure he will give Lange the diva swan song she deserves in her final horror story. Stay tuned!
Philly-born character actor James Rebhorn, who passed away this weekend due to complications from melanoma, wrote his own obituary. The text, which appears on the website of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Jersey City, remembers his birth in Philly, his supportive family, and his time at Wittenberg University. Read it below:
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