Bad Behavior

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Texas Rangers Build a Statue for Stupidity

Predicting an impending Judgment Day is increasingly fashionable, but it’s already here and always has been. It’s called decision making in everyday life. But for […]

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Housewives, Shut Up

My 22-year-old daughter has a problem. It’s more of an addiction, really. Given a long, hot summer without any classes to attend, she watches a […]

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Should Deadspin Bust Guys Like Brett Favre?

It’s not often that I open up the new issue of GQ and see a profile of a friend of mine — especially when said […]

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New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Eve. Again. The resolution obsession is taunting me, forcing me to evaluate the past year and make some promises to myself for the […]

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Leave Four Loko Alone

If you’re going to ban Four Loko, Red Bull and vodka—the drink of choice for the hard-partying set in my collegiate years—should be next, or actually, maybe first.

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The FDA Is Right About Four Loko

Not so long ago, if you told me the FDA would crack down on alcoholic energy drinks — including the infamous Four Loko, also known […]

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Brett Favre Should’ve Kept It In His Pants

The big story this week — or should I say the medium-sized story — is Brett Favre’s dick. A story first mentioned on notorious sports […]

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Pastor Terry Jones Is No Better Than Bam Margera

If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one around, does it make a sound? It is a fun philosophical question, but […]

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Never Mind McDonald’s. We Should Ban Buffets

I am in Orlando, Florida as I write this, staying at the Nickelodeon hotel. It is the most wonderful place in the world — if […]

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BP’s Relief Payment Checks Bouncing

“I don’t know why they keep saying there is no oil. There is oil here.” Teri, a young mom, is just letting out the frustration […]

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Lindsay, LeBron and Snooki Don’t Represent

Twenty-somethings have been getting a bad rap the past month. For years the media has been stalking the bad behavior of 24-year-old Lindsay Lohan, until […]

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Excuse Me, Did You Pay for That?

As she was putting up a “Going Out of Business” sign, I had a chat with the manager of a national chain store that was […]

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The 8th-Inning Taser Chase

The Phillies brought us a championship and two World Series appearances in a row. For a short time, the negative image of the bitter, booing […]

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Why the Taser-Wielding Cop Was Wrong

I admit there are a lot of things about life I don’t understand, but I really can’t fathom the wisdom of running on a professional […]

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Thanks a Lot, Pukemon

I want to personally thank Matthew Clemens, known now as “Pukemon” on the Internet, for making my new job in New York a living hell. […]