Early this morning at Planet Fitness, in Lawncrest, a new member got so angry about his membership that he issued a bomb scare and then followed up with a uh, real fake bomb.
A Lions fan says he was beaten unconscious by Eagles fans after Sunday’s game. “The Lions fans, who is a resident of Philadelphia and chose to not be identified, claims that a group of Eagles fans began to harass him by throwing snow balls at him after the game ended. After trying to ignore it, however, the fans reportedly crossed over Pattison avenue and approached him– which is when things allegedly got physical.” Read more »
The story was so startling that I thought it had to be a parody — even though it was on the front page of the New York Times. Datelined AMSTERDAM, it detailed how some lucky alcoholics in that city start their day with a couple of beers provided by the government, pick up trash in the morning, get a few more government-provided beers with lunch, work some more, and then cap off the workday with more beers supplied by the government.
Can you imagine the outcry if someone tried to set that sort of program up in Philly? Read more »
It’s Friday, December 6th, and you know what that means?
SWEET HOLY BABY JESUS, ONLY 19 MORE SHOPPING DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS, except that the “shopping” qualifier is stupid now that every day is a shopping day.
In case your weekend plans involve schlepping all over God’s green earth to find the perfect thoughtful, deeply meaningful gift for Uncle Ebenezer, Cousin Dorothy, your mom, your dad, Grammy, Gramps and your sister’s new baby — stop! Don’t! Sit home on the couch and watch that Law & Order: SVU marathon instead!
You might as well, because research says there is no — we repeat, no — connection between the time and thought and energy you expend on choosing a gift and how much the recipient appreciates it. And don’t bother busting your budget, either, because research also shows that how much you spend on a gift doesn’t count for a hill of beans when it comes to how much the gift-getter likes it. Read more »
First came the Black Friday stun gun fight at Franklin Mills Mall. Then came Wednesday’s violent brouhaha at Philadelphia’s Christmas tree lighting ceremony in, yep, Love Park. And now, to continue the tradition of Christmastime malevolence, we bring you a pair of yuletide bandits who, according to police, stole Christmas decorations off of a home in South Philadelphia, which I’m pretty sure is a capital offense in that particular neighborhood. Read more »
On Wednesday night–less than one week after the Black Friday stun gun fight at the Franklin Mills Mall–a fight erupted at Philadelphia’s official Christmas Tree-lighting ceremony at Love Park. In front of the mayor, no less, reports Fox 29. Can’t you people behave yourselves?
When I woke up on Friday morning, I was pretty happy to see that Philadelphia hadn’t surfaced in any of the Thanksgiving Day Walmart fight reports. Good job, Philadelphia, I thought. But then came Black Friday and this battle at the Franklin Mills Mall. There appears to be a small child in a stroller right next to all of the action, which includes a stun gun, various expletives, and lots of hair pulling. Read more »
Millennials, you are killing me.
I know, I know; we celebrate you on the December cover of the magazine. We get to read inside about how you’re remaking the city on your way to taking over the world. But can we stop for a minute and talk about this past weekend at Princeton, please?
There was a bonfire at Princeton last night — the time-honored ritual bonfire celebrating the victories of the football team over archrivals Harvard and Yale. (Sorry, Penn.) How time-honored? Real time-honored. Way back in 1893, the New York Times reported that “the whole college turned out en masse” to construct this bonfire in “the grandest celebration Princeton has ever seen.” But the oh-so-traditional bonfire did not, this year, include the customary ignition of an effigy of John Harvard (though students found smaller ways to include him in the blaze). Why no Harvard effigy? Because, student government social chair Carla Javier told the Daily Princetonian last week, the effigy “represents a human,” and, as the paper went on to note, “various students expressed their distaste for the burning of a human-like figure.”
Oh, the humanity. Read more »