Well, cat’s out of the bag: Ralph Lauren unveiled its designs for the 2014 Winter Olympics on the Today show this morning. The sporty look our team will be wearing, the outfit that represents our country, the way we’ll be presenting ourselves to the world is this: a cardigan that looks like an ugly Christmas sweater or a very patriotic afghan that your grandmother would toss over the back of her sofa, the most unflattering sweatpants (sweatpants!) ever, and a hat that looks like something a loser Christmas elf would wear on the Fourth of July. Even the model over there on the right looks embarrassed to be wearing this. But that’s not all: You can own this preppy, patriotism-on-acid atrocity, too! That sweater is $598, the cream turtleneck underneath is $245, the fleece pants are $165, the leather boots are $395, and the reindeer hat is $95.