It seems that as soon as crazy door-busters are announced, people go crazy. Not just camp-outside-all-night-for-a-TV crazy, but brawl-in-the-towel-aisle. Here, the most insane, question-your-faith-in-humanity stories from Friday’s shopping battlefield. Be prepared: It’s not pretty.
- First, there was that stun gun fight at the Franklin Mills Mall. (Let’s face it. The only two reasons to go to that mall are Off Fifth and Last Call by Neiman Marcus. Tip: You can enter both of these stores from outside entrances, so you never even have to wander into the actual mall. Do this.) [Philly Mag]
- In cheerier news, a man was cited after tossing $1,000 bills over an upper-floor railing at Minnesota’s Mall of America during a choir’s performance of ‘Let It Snow.’ Now why couldn’t that have happened at Franklin Mills? [ABC News]
- Some of the craziness happened before shoppers even entered the stores: A Virginia man was stabbed in the arm in a Walmart parking lot over a parking space. [dcist]
- Apparently, towels are Walmart’s best-selling Black Friday item. Maybe this explains why in Arkansas, a fight broke out in the towel aisle on Friday. [Huffington Post]
- Back to Chicago: Two men suspected of shoplifting at a suburban-area Kohl’s store fled the scene in a car, which sped away dragging a police officer behind it. [Count On 2]
- And we’ll end with another Walmart brawl: Three fights broke out in a Rialto Walmart. A police officer suffered a broken wrist while trying to break up a fight over someone cutting in line. [The Sun]
- There’s this, too (which is false, but sadly seems totally plausible). Shopping. Is is a war. [The Daily Currant]
And now, here’s something to cheer you up.