I borrowed that string of No‘s, readers, from the subject line of one of the many people who have emailed me to make sure this—this thing—is on my radar, because it very succinctly sums up my reaction to it, too.
Here is the thing we’re talking about. I’ll pause a minute while you soak it in:
Here’s the thing: When it comes to weddings, you will be hard-pressed to find a person who is more whatever-floats-your-boat, whatever-blows-your-skirt-up than me—I am always preaching to brides not to worry about trends or what’s “cool” or what’s “in” or what the “rules” are, because I truly believe that especially when it comes to something like a wedding, everyone should do what they want—and I’m not suspending that for this. If you really feel like this fits you and your vibe and your wedding (like, I kinda get that feeling from the fishnet-donning bride and her party above?) and if you really feel certain that in 40 years as your grandchildren page through your well-worn wedding album and come upon this photo that you will beam and say, “Didn’t Grandma look good, honey?” then by all means, knock yourself out.
But what I am saying is that I don’t like it. I don’t even get it. There doesn’t seem to be a consistent motivation, judging by the evidence: Is it supposed to be coquettish? Cute? Mischievous? Sexy? Silly? Rebellious? Burlesque-ish? Little-girl-and-the-puppy-on-the-Coopertone-bottle-ish? Cheeky (and yes, I am cringing at the pun)? I honestly don’t know.
There is a time and a place for a bare ass, see, even when it comes to weddings—a boudoir shoot! Your wild bachelorette party! Your clothes-optional honeymoon! Even that ridiculous “morning-after” photography, if that is still a thing that people are doing—but your actual wedding is not it. I don’t care if you are spending $2,000 or $20,000 or $200,000 on your celebration, your wedding is not the appropriate backdrop for a bare ass, unless of course you and your new mister are overcome with newly-married passion and get at it in the coatroom/limo/bathroom, in which case by all means, God bless.
All photos courtesy Imgur