Do you know what you’re doing for your bachelorette party yet? Do you at least know whether you’re going to do a girls’ night out locally (or at least some sort of twist; your own personal ideal version of a girls’ night out) or do some sort of multi-night getaway and make your bachelorette party actually more like a bachelorette vacation?
If you’re leaning towards the latter, you are definitely not alone—not according to where I sit, both as a person in the wedding biz and as, well, a female who has seen a lot of friends and colleagues go through the whole wedding thing—and not according to the article I read in the New York Times over the weekend detailing the ever-growing tendency of bachelorette “parties” to involve flights, a several-day itinerary, and costs per person that start, at the very least, in the triple digits.
Because it is the NYT, obviously, the anecdotal examples they cite aren’t exactly relatable run-of-the-mill trips (the article mentions a shopping extravaganza in Paris, for one), but the thing is, I’ve noticed this, too, on a more average (accessible?) level. I’ve known of, have gone on, and have declined several bachelorette getaways, and agree with the article’s reasoning that part of the reason for this change is most likely, in part, due to the fact that people are just getting married a little later in life, when they have the money to make special the things that they want to make special. And in the case of the bachelorette party, that often means by trading in a big dinner at a favorite restaurant and a night out afterwards dancing on tables for a ritzy girls getaway that may or may not involve spa-ing, wine tasting, and whatever else the bride’s heart desires.
And for certain, these trips usually come about two different ways—one , where everyone is completely on board, with the attendees often surprising and treating the bride along the way, and the other, where the bride is some sort of monster who is demanding nothing less than the world, lest her bachelorette party not be “special,” and the bridesmaids are harangued into spending their life savings before they even get the bill for their dress. (And yes, I have seen both of these, too.)
The whole thing is just a little trickier than it used to be (as The Cut says of this phenomenon, “What your employer doesn’t offer five bachelorette days annually?”), where you’d buy the bride a sash and a penis-shaped straw out of which she’d be charged to drink all of her cocktails that night, and head out on the town. But, just like so many things when it comes to weddings, as long as you’re not being a jerk, there aren’t any real rules to follow. Whatever blows your skirt up. (Just maybe try to make sure your friends can afford whatever blows up yours.)
(Warning: If you have ever been a part of planning a bachelorette party, the above link may be too graphic for some readers.)