This Bedazzled ‘Future Bride’ Onesie Makes Us Very Nervous

The 'Future Bride' onesie, available on Zulily.com.

A big thanks to Jezebel for our first ew of the week after they discovered this charming item pictured to the right here on Zulily.com. And yes, that is a bedazzled onesie that seems to exist for the purposes of declaring a newborn girl a “future bride.”

I can’t say I’m overly concerned with all the feminist progress business—I more just think it’s kind of a gross and unnecessary context in which to place, you know, a baby. Being a bride and getting married involves love and sex and that bride interacting with another human being within those parameters, and maybe babies don’t need to wear anything that makes the mind go there? (Although their point about the kid ripping the rhinestones off and shoving them in her mouth is pretty legit, too.)

After all, if she actually does become a bride some day, Lord knows there are plenty of bedazzled bride-to-be tanks (and thongs and hoodies and on and on and on) she can don to accompany her left-hand bling if she so chooses. Until then? Pass, please.

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