With so much planning towards our wedding day, sometimes I think a little ahead. I know, I know—stay focused on the big event! But I can’t help to think of being married, of being in a marriage, and becoming a wife to a remarkable man. It is exciting, for the most part—but at the same time, slightly daunting. You can’t ignore the fact that divorce has increased through the years, nor the realization that successful marriages are becoming less of the norm.
I’m lucky enough to have grown up in a family with a successful marriage, and just this past week, my mom and dad celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary (congratulations mom and dad!). It was a humbling moment, to see two people who have loved, rejoiced, struggled, and survived 35 enduring years together.
I choose the word “endure” because they raised three girls, an enjoyable but difficult task—I was one of them!—survived the difficulty of losing their parents together, watched their daughters grow up, and got through the daily struggles of life. But they also rejoiced in births of children, celebrations of wedding anniversaries, graduations, renewal of vows, and the daily happy events that have been thrown their way. They shared so many values and molded my sisters and I into the women we are today, and I am forever grateful for their patience, love, and support.
Now, as a woman about to take on the role of a wife, I can easily say I’m prepared because of the amazing examples my parents have set forth for me. So, I sat down with my mom and dad and asked them to shed some light on marriage for some soon-to-be newlyweds and provide us with ways to survive 35+ year of happy marriage:
Give a little, take a little. You’re a little support team, blended to perfection. Your traits are balanced almost equally so put into your marriage what you will take out.
Find time for me. Even though you’re a married couple, don’t forget that you’re still an individual with your own interests and friends.
Don’t sweat the small things. Put life in perspective and don’t hold a grudge.
Always treat your spouse as you’d like to be treated. Surprise them with simple things like their favorite cup of coffee, favorite dinner, and simple pleasures of life.
Never go to bed angry.
No matter how bad things are, there’s always way to work them out. It’s easy to walk away from the problem but teamwork is essential to succeed at the bigger picture.
Have you received any valuable marriage advice? How will you bring some of these tips into your marriage?