Punxsutawney Phil Is Hiding a Weird, Dark Secret

You’re telling me this immortal psychic groundhog is married? / Photograph via Getty Images

Yesterday, the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club announced that much to their surprise, Punxsutawney Phil and his wife welcomed two baby groundhogs into the world.

And I think I speak for everyone when I say his wife?!

Yep. According to the official lore, the number one most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania is married. To another groundhog, thank the Lord. Though this was not alluded to in Groundhog Day, Punxsutawney Phyllis (sometime spelled Phylliss on the official site, groundhog.org) has been in the picture for a while. I found a reference to her in several newspaper articles from the 1970s.

The pair live together in a publicly displayed enclosure at the town’s library, though a larger habitat is in the works to make room for the little ones.

But okay. Punxsutawney Phil is married, that’s fine. And he has sex, good for him. And now he’s a dad, congrats all around.

All of this information seems pretty natural for a groundhog, and maybe even a little tame for an immortal rodent folk hero who has been making vague weather predictions for 138 winters in a row. The keepers of the groundhog and its lore can make up whatever mythology they see fit. For example, take this little nugget from the official FAQ:

How many “Phils” have there been over the years?

There has only been one Punxsutawney Phil. He has been making predictions since 1886! Punxsutawney Phil gets his longevity from drinking the ‘elixir of life,’ a secret recipe. Phil takes one sip every summer at the Groundhog Picnic and it magically gives him seven more years of life.

I mean — sure. There’s only been one Phil. And it’s because he drinks this “elixir of life.” Feels a little sci-fi and explainy, like when George Lucas added that bit about midi-chlorians. But it’s your show. Let’s read some more of that FAQ:

Does Phil have a wife?

Yes, her name is Phylis. She doesn’t receive the Elixir of Life so she will not live forever like Phil.

I’m sorry, what?

Phil doesn’t share the elixir? Why doesn’t Phil share the elixir? Will he just sit there watching the people he loves grow old and die? Does he go cruising for new wives when the current model kicks the bucket? That’s sick. How many old, cold Phyllises have been hot-swapped with young fresh living ones in the middle of the night? (And how did this groundhog story get so gross? Is it my fault?)

Like I said, Groundhog Club: It’s your show. You can write and rewrite the mythology as you see fit.

But since it’s all fiction anyway, why not take out this one obscure, tragic and curiously misogynist aspect of the Groundhog Day story? Phil needs to start sharing the elixir.

By The Numbers

$90,000 The total budget for Delco: The Movie, the independent, crowd-funded flick now filming in Delco, and starring an abundance of Brians: Brian Anthony Wilson (The Wire, The Postman), Brian Dunkleman (American Idol) and Brian O’Halloran (the Clerks movies, The Happening). If you want to see Dante Hicks in a priest outfit, check out this Inky piece from the set.

28 The number of projects listed as “upcoming” for aforementioned Philly actor Brian Anthony Wilson on the IMDB.

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 The winning numbers from last night’s gigantic Powerball drawing. JK. Remember Lost? Here are the real numbers, but you didn’t win. That’s okay. I didn’t win, either, which is why I’m slumped over my laptop writing 15-year-old Lost references instead of planning a vacation to the moon.

$25,000 Jackpot won by Delco resident Josline Boyle on a game show called Password last night. I wonder if she’d like to invest in a certain independent film. I bet with $25K they could score a Jason Mewes cameo.

48 Number of “heritage trees” that will be chopped down if that FDR renovation plan is allowed to proceed (which it may not).  According to the zoning code, you have to get special permission to remove them.

4 Number of French bulldogs stolen from a home in Dover by six dudes with an assault rifle. Wikipedia says 80 percent of French bulldog litters are born via c-section. That’s not important to the story, but it’s weird, right? Picture the little dog doctors in masks and scrubs.

And From the On-Hold Sports Desk …

The big news is that the Phils postponed their Opening Day game for the second year in a row because of rain. Hmm, climate change? They’ll kick off the season against the Braves on Friday instead of today, with the same 3:05 start at CBP.

The other big news is that The Athletic reports that ESPN is looking to hire Jason Kelce to replace one of the big names on M0nday Night Football. Still digesting how we feel about the prospect …

How’d the Sixers Do?

James Harden was back in Philly for the first time since his ugly trade contretemps last year, as was P.J. Tucker. Better news: Kelly Oubre was back in the saddle for the Sixers, starting along with Tobias Harris, Mo Bamba, Tyrese Maxey and Kyle Lowry. And since the Phils game got postponed, some special guests were on hand.

Sixers fans were spectacular, booing Harden every time he touched the ball in the early going. He obliged by missing some shots, as did his teammates; they were trailing through the first quarter, which closed with the Sixers up 30-18. In the second quarter, the Clippers managed to tighten things up until Maxey hit a long three and then a two, pushing the lead to 10 before the Clippers cut it to four at the half. Then it was suddenly a one-point game early in the third — yikes. That’s where it hung around for the rest of that quarter; only two Buddy Hield treys and his fancy layup toward the end preserved a tenuous 79-75 Sixer lead.

And Bricken for Chicken, too! But oh, God, it stayed too close for comfort all through the fourth. We were up 104-101 with a minute to go when Maxey tripped and turned the ball over on an inbound pass. Amir Coffey missed a vital foul shot that would have cut the lead to one, but the Sixers lost a challenge on an out-of-bounds call that they should have won, and Kawhi Leonard tied it, then put the Clippers up 105-104 with a subsequent foul shot. Ala Abdelnaby was apoplectic. Holy cannoli, a Buddy Hield three from Montana! But another layup and foul shot by Leonard meant another one-point L.A. lead. Ball in Maxey’s hands … he’s fouled, but no shot, just an in-bounds. Wait, a Clippers challenge now, saying Maxey wasn’t fouled, just slipped again. You got the feeling the crowd was gonna storm the court if the review blew this one, too. Luckily for everyone, the call stood up — maybe also wrongly. An Oubre layup stuck to the rim, resulting in a jump ball, also challenged by Nick Nurse. Um, you can’t challenge a no-call, Nick. The Sixers got the resulting jump ball but couldn’t score:

A 108-107 loss, and some wrath from Nurse and in the booth. Tough loss. At least the fans got to boo the crew off the court. Lustily. Kelly Oubre is us.

The Flyers play today, though not, one presumes, so controversially.

Two Indie-Rock Lifers Explore Boredom and Madness in New Jersey in New Graphic Novel

graphic novel Merriment

Paternoster and Steinhardt took advantage of the COVID lockdown to create their first graphic novel. / Image details from Merriment

Joe Steinhardt and Marissa Paternoster are in uncharted territory. The pair have been working together for years, with his long-running indie label Don Giovanni Records releasing albums by her also long-running and recently broken-up indie rock band Screaming Females since the mid-2000s. In the world of fiercely independent music, these two thirtysomethings are old pros.

But their new venture — an off-kilter, affecting and surprisingly funny graphic novel called Merriment — led them outside their comfort zones.

Steinhardt, also an assistant professor in Drexel’s Music Industry Program, provided the words, introducing us to a coterie of dry-witted New Jerseyans sipping coffee and adjusting to suburban early adulthood. But one of them, the delightfully and worryingly dark Mack, seems to be spiraling — her usual depression and restlessness giving way to stranger territory. Her BFF Denise, peacemaking mom, and increasingly wary friends don’t quite know what to do with her.

Paternoster provides the illustrations. Though the 200-plus-page Merriment is her first graphic novel, she is a lifelong artist and comic creator (in addition to being one of the top guitarists alive, according to Rolling Stone and Spin). Her panels here are populated by stony but expressive faces that can border on the grotesque, at least at first glance.

Steinhardt, who studied filmmaking as an undergrad, takes a dialogue-driven documentary approach to storytelling that lends itself nicely to Paternoster’s oddly surreal drawings full of wavy lines and talking heads. Together the art and subject matter have readers seeing what Mack sees: That terrible things are around every corner.

Paternoster and Steinhardt, lifelong New Jerseyans currently living in Philadelphia, will read from Merriment at Queen Village book shop Partners & Son on March 30th. The three of us spoke ahead of the graphic novel’s release.

Merriment comes complete with glowing blurbs from record producer Steve Albini, New Yorker cartoonist Sara Lautman and NJ comedian/actor Chris Gethard, who, in addition to praising the book, said: “New Jersey and mental illness go hand in hand.” Is that true?

Marissa Paternoster: Living under the throes of late-stage capitalism is probably the key to being “mentally ill.” Everyone should probably be “mentally ill” at this point. And that’s in quotation marks. New Jersey is an interesting place because it’s purgatorial in a way. You live in between these two giant major metropolitan destination cities, and everyone talks shit on you. But there’s a lot going on in New Jersey, actually.

Joe Steinhardt: New Jersey and Philly both grow up in that long shadow of New York, and there’s a lot of that present in this book — that “You think you’re better than me?” chip on the shoulder. And then there’s the self-hating Jersey folks, too.

graphic novel Merriment

Besides New Jersey, where did Merriment come from?

Steinhardt: I started writing this nine years ago, but I’m almost embarrassed telling people that, because it’s not The Odyssey. It’s not this major work or anything. … It took a long time to figure out who Mack was, and the world she operated in. Not to mention it’s not something that I do for a living. This was done in the cracks of time. … Marissa and I have been friends and working on shit together for a million years, and [I realized] this would be really great paired with Marisa’s art. We have very similar senses of humor, and a very similar sense of the world.

Paternoster: Joe sent me what looked like a screenplay probably four years ago. I read it and I liked it, but I knew in the back of my mind that doing a graphic novel while being on tour for like 100 days out of the year might be unrealistic. And then it was three months later or something that COVID happened and I had all the time in the world. So I was like: Let’s do it.

Merriment is more about dialogue than action, how did that affect your approach?

Paternoster: The thing that I tried to do, and hopefully did successfully bearing in mind that this was the first time I’ve ever made a graphic novel, was to imbue as much emotion as I could in the character’s faces while they’re having these really heavy discussions. But I also was thinking a lot about a comic like Ghost World, where the characters have this flat affect and they don’t really seem to emote heavily in any which way, unless something really intense happens. Something about that very droll aesthetic when it comes to drawing paired nicely with Joe’s writing, because Merriment is a lot of stories about listlessness and hopelessness and just the banality driving you towards, in this case, madness.

Steinhardt: The way I wrote this, I really distanced myself from the characters. Hearing Marisa talk about it, it almost doesn’t feel I wrote them. … There’s these times I really want Mack to say something different. I really want Denise to do something different. And I think for me that’s what the story is about. I don’t know. That might sound like completely insane.

Paternoster: Mack is a really relatable millennial character because she wants to go to New York so life can happen. But what does she actually mean by that? She has no plans. She has no career trajectory. She has seemingly no hobbies or interests. She just wants to be in New York. And I think we’ve all probably learned the hard that you can’t just go somewhere and life happens to you. That’s not the way it works.

Mack seems to be spiraling, like things are just getting gradually worse inside her head. But the people around her don’t always know how to handle it.

Steinhardt: In some fiction, especially if you’re writing episodic TV, each line is so important, everyone says the exact right thing. Then in real life, when you’re presented with these situations, you don’t necessarily fumble, but you don’t get a first down. And then you go back in your head and think I wish I did it like this. … And it’s not so much about the moral judgments of the characters in Merriment. I don’t think anyone’s a really bad person, right, like Mack might have some thoughts that are icky, but …

I was gonna ask, do you feel more like Mack or Denise?

Paternoster: I’m definitely Mack, but I want to be Denise.

This book surprises you with its funny parts. The humor is earned, and based on these really fleshed-out personalities.

Steinhardt: One of the reasons we’re friends is that we have a very similar sense of humor. We’ll go on long car trips or tours or whatever and we’ll be characters with each other. Even our jokes all involve either creating characters or taking people that we know and making them into characters, and stepping outside of our bodies. I think at some level neither of us like our own bodies, but we’re working on it. It’s fun to step outside of our bodies and be somebody else for a minute. This was a great thing for us to work on together and I want to do another one with her.

Now that you’re not out on tour all the time, maybe you’ll have time?

Paternoster: I mean, I’ve been at home a lot more. I’m certainly drawing a lot more. I knew that executing a graphic novel would be a massive lift. I was hesitant to do it because I didn’t want to start it and then it just exist in parts just for years and years. I wanted to actually get it done. But now Joe and I have some kind of timeframe that we can reference if we ever decide to make something again and I do know how much work it is.

Steinhardt: When we put this project together, when we did a Kickstarter and everything, we were like, “Oh, it’s going to be a 120-page graphic novel, and it’s COVID we have all this time, so we’ll have it out in a year.” And it became a 248-page thing that took three years.

You both always seem to work in the independent art and music world. What it is that draws you to that side of things?

Steinhardt: Disdain.

Paternoster: Yeah, pretty much. Yes. I just don’t want anybody making any creative executive decisions on my behalf. There’s no need for it either. I’m not so busy that that I can’t handle it myself.

Steinhardt: The infrastructure of distribution and promotion, it’s so tightly controlled. I actually do want this book to be To Kill a Mockingbird. I do want Screaming Females to be the Beatles, but it has to be on our own terms.

graphic novel Merriment

Steinhardt and Paternoster will read from Merriment on March 30th, 6-9 p.m., at Partners & Son, 618 South 6th Street.

Just Listed: Renovated Rowhouse in Grad Hospital

house for sale grad hospital renovated rowhouse front entrance

The 2100 block of Christian Street may have an eclectic mix of rowhouses, but this one at 2137 Christian St., Philadelphia, PA 19146 is a traditional classic. Until you step inside, that is. / Photos by Colin Burkhardt, CDB Photography, via Kurfiss Sotheby’s International Realty and *Bright MLS

Philadelphia has loads of rowhouses that date back a century or more. In many neighborhoods, the rows of uniform facades form pleasing streetscapes.

But what lies behind those facades might fool the random observer.

Take this Grad Hospital renovated rowhouse for sale, for instance. As you can see above, this vintage 1915 rowhouse fits right in with its neighbors on Christian Street.

But walk through its front door and suddenly you’ve entered the here and now.

This too is a fairly common occurrence. But the quality of the transformations varies. This is among the better ones.

house for sale grad hospital renovated rowhouse living room

Living room

For starters, its main floor offers the best feature of the open plan while avoiding its most objectionable one.

house for sale grad hospital renovated rowhouse dining room

Dining room

The living and dining rooms are joined together to form a single space …

house for sale grad hospital renovated rowhouse kitchen

Kitchen

… but you have to pass through a door to enter the separate kitchen, which boasts custom European cabinetry. Those who like to entertain their guests with a kitchen show will probably want to pass on this place, but if you’re the type who doesn’t want to smell food cooking while relaxing in the living room, this is the house you’ve been looking for.

rear patio

Rear patio

A super-spacious landscaped rear patio sits behind the main floor. It’s all set up for both entertaining and relaxation.

You may have also noted that the stairs don’t float or do any of those other modern tricks. In that sense, this renovation maintains ties to the past yet remains thoroughly modern.

bedroom

Bedroom

The second floor contains a front bedroom that gets plenty of natural light through south-facing windows.

bedroom/home office

*Bedroom/home office

It also has a smaller bedroom that could serve as a home office, as here, or as a nursery. You’ll also find a full bathroom on this floor.

primary bedroom

Primary bedroom

The top floor is given over to the primary bedroom suite. It contains a large south-facing bedroom with an equally large walk-in closet.

primary bathroom

Primary bathroom

Its spa-like bath contains dual vanities, a frameless glass shower stall and custom tilework.

roof deck

*Primary suite roof deck

Just off the bathroom, through sliding doors at the top of the stairs, sits this private outdoor roof deck. Imagine starting your mornings and ending your evenings here.

basement media room

*Basement media room

basement media room

*Basement media room

And under all this you’ll find a finished basement that makes a great media room. It also has a powder room and a wet bar with a beverage fridge.

This Grad Hospital renovated rowhouse for sale also comes with a convenient location. The South Street restaurant row, Julian Abele Park, Marian Anderson Recreation Center, and Washington Avenue all lie within easy walking distance, and you can stroll a little further to reach University City, Rittenhouse Square or the Avenue of the Arts — or you can take one of three nearby SEPTA bus routes.

They didn’t live like this in 1915, but I’ll wager that they would have if they could have.

THE FINE PRINT

BEDS: 3

BATHS: 2 full, 1 half

SQUARE FEET: 1,344

SALE PRICE: $750,000

2137 Christian St., Philadelphia, PA 19146 [Michael Kelczewski | Kurfiss Sotheby’s International Realty]

 

Our Guide to the Can’t-Miss Phillies Home Games This Season

phillies 2024 season citizens bank park

The Phillies play their 20th season at Citizens Bank Park in 2024. / Photograph by Laura Swartz

Editor’s note: The Phillies home opener has been postponed to Friday, March 29th at 3:05 p.m. due to rain. We have updated this article to reflect this.

It’s been a long, cold off-season, but the boys are back in town. The Phillies start their 2024 season at home this week, and it’s looking to be a special season, from a series across the pond to lots of nostalgia celebrating 20 years at Citizens Bank Park.

They’ve also got some new ballpark eats, which is almost enough to cushion the blow of them ending Dollar Dog Night. It’s always a good time to go to the ballpark, but it’s even better if you get a free hat or some pomp and circumstance out of it. So here are some key dates to put on your calendar for the season.

Opening Day

March 29th

The Phillies open their season at home versus Atlanta on March 29th — postponed from Thursday due to rain. Head to Citizens Bank Park for the excitement, vengeance against the Braves, and maybe a run-in with the Phanatic. Even if you can’t get tickets to the game, head to CBP earlier in the day because they’re throwing a block party outside the Third Base Gate — the Budweiser Clydesdales are coming!

Citizens Bank Park’s 20th Anniversary

April 12th

Throughout the season, the Phillies will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of their current ballpark (R.I.P. the Vet). There will be PhanaVision videos reliving big moments, alumni appearances, and special merch commemorating famous milestones. The first tribute will be exactly 20 years after the inaugural game at Citizens Bank Park, on April 12th. That game’s starting pitcher, Randy Wolf, will return to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.

phillie phanatic

The Phillie Phanatic’s birthday cake at Citizens Bank Park / Photograph by Hunter Martin/Getty Images

The Phanatic’s Birthday

April 21st

The Phanatic has a pre-game birthday party every year, with mascot friends in attendance, an elaborate cake, and general whimsy. Also, kids age 14 and under will get cute Phanatic mittens and I am very jealous.

Kids’ Giveaway: London Bus

June 1st

To celebrate the Phillies playing overseas this year, kids 14 and under get a cute double-decker bus the week before the London series. Also, the Phillies play the Cardinals.

phillies london 2024

Kids get this cute Phillies double-decker bus to celebrate the London 2024 series. / Photograph by Laura Swartz

London Series!

June 8th & 9th

You know what? Just go to London. It’s a great excuse, it’s summer, and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance to boo the Mets on a different continent. This is the Phillies’ first international series — MLB started doing London games in 2019. For the rest of us staying home, the games will air at 1:10 p.m. and 10:10 a.m. Philly time.

Shohei Ohtani Comes to Town

July 9th-11th

The biggest superstar of baseball right now — and holder of the largest contract in sports history at $700 million — is coming to town for just one series this season. So, if you want to see Showtime himself, get tickets for their July 9th through 11th series. (They also play the Dodgers on the road later in the season, but this is a lot closer.)

phillies phanatic ohtani

The Phanatic and Shohei Ohtani / Photograph by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images

Cole Hamels Retirement Night

June 21st

Beloved pitcher and World Series champion Cole Hamels is hanging it up, retiring in the red pinstripes he wore for a decade. He’ll be on the field for a celebration of his illustrious career. Fans 15 and over will get replica 2009 NLCS championship rings — which is bizarre since Hamels didn’t have the best showing in that post-season and was the MVP for both the 2008 NLCS and World Series. Also, the Phillies play the Diamondbacks.

Fireworks Games

June 27th & 28th

These games start a little earlier — 6:20 p.m. — so that Citizens Bank Park can get the fireworks in before all the kids fall asleep. The Phillies play the Marlins.

Harry Potter Night

August 13th

The Phils take on the Marlins, and special ticketholders get a Phillies Harry Potter house scarf. If I had to guess, the Phanatic is Hufflepuff. Costumes are welcome, even though you will be watching baseball instead of quidditch.

phillies 2024 phanatic games star wars

Phillies Star Wars Night returns August 26, 2024. / Photograph courtesy of the Phillies

Star Wars Night

August 26th

Always a popular one, the Phillies bring back Star Wars Night for the 10th year running. The Phanatic will bring out costumed characters while the Phillies take on the Dark Side, a.k.a. the Astros. (We’re still not over the 2022 World Series.)  A special ticket gets you an exclusive Ranger Suárez Mandalorian bobblehead.

Pickleball Night

September 9th

The first 1,000 fans that purchase special $70 tickets to this game will get a Phanatic paddle and Phillies paddle cover. Imagine rolling up to the court with that! Oh, and the Phillies play the Rays. In baseball, not pickleball.

phillies pickleball paddle 2024

Snag this Phillies pickleball paddle and case! / Photograph courtesy of the Phillies

More Fun and Games

Concerts

Tickets for two games this season double as post-game concert tickets:

  • Riley Green, June 22nd
  • Kaskade, July 27th

Also, Jimmy Buffett tribute band Jimmy and the Parrots perform a pre-game concert in Ashburn Alley on July 9th for Margaritaville Night, but sadly the 2,000 special-edition Phillies Hawaiian shirts they were selling for the event are already spoken for.

Giveaways

I’m not gonna go into detail about all the remaining giveaways, but I just want to point out this insane Phillies Bullpen Cart that’s being handed to kids 14 and under who are too young to appreciate it on 1980s Retro Night (July 11th).

Retro bullpen car giveaway / Photograph by Laura Swartz

And if you’ve been spending all season jealously watching your kids get spoiled by Phillies giveaways, your time has come! For Mother’s Day (or rather, “Mother’s Appreciation Day presented by Pep Boys”), women ages 15 and over get a free pink Phillies bucket hat. Father’s Day (this one’s sponsored/appreciated by Chevy) earns men ages 15 and over a free hat on June 23rd.

phillies 2024

2024 Phillies giveaways on display for media before the season. / Photograph by Laura Swartz

Heritage Celebrations

  • April 11th: Asian Pacific Heritage Celebration
  • May 21st: Greek Heritage Celebration
  • May 31st: Irish Heritage Celebration
  • June 17th: Pride Night
  • June 18th: Jewish Heritage Celebration
  • June 19th: HBCU Day
  • August 14th: Italian Heritage Celebration
  • August 27th: Goya Latino Family Celebration
  • August 29th: German Heritage Celebration

Neighbors Sue to Halt Massive FDR Park Renovation

fdr park

Haason Reddick fans are having a blast in this detail from the FDR Park renovation plan. / Image via myphillypark.org

Check phillymag.com each morning Monday through Thursday for the latest edition of Philly Today. And if you have a news tip for our hardworking Philly Mag reporters, please direct it here. You can also use that form to send us reader mail. We love reader mail!

Neighbors Sue to Halt Massive FDR Park Renovation

Can 11 South Philadelphians halt FDR Park’s $250 million renovation project? Maybe. According to a report by Ximena Conde in the Inquirer, a group is suing to pull the brakes on the project, which is already underway, arguing that it needs the approval of both City Council and Orphans’ Court (which is not a powerful judicial body composed entirely of Dickensian waifs, sadly).

The suit, filed on Monday, further argues that the plan (which you can read about here) endangers the park’s wetlands and natural beauty. To quote:

“Defendants are preliminarily enjoined from using taxpayer monies or any other government resources to end or terminate or radically change the purpose of FDR Park and in destroying meadows, wetlands and watersheds and replacing with 30-40 acres of artificial turf, unless and until the Defendants have proven their case in Orphans’ Court and an Orphans’ Court Order is issued to the contrary.”

One reason the suit could be successful: The group’s lawyer has been through this before. Samuel Stretton — whose web site rivals Jukt Micronics in its elegant simplicity — has previously won cases defending the Northeast’s Burholme Park (in 2009) and Downington’s Kardon Park (in 2017) from development.

By the Numbers

20: How many seals have been rescued down the shore since “seal season” started in December.

2-3-3: The Flyers’ record through the seven-game “gauntlet” against really good teams. (This hockey fun fact is dedicated to Sandy, whose sports roundup you’ll find if you keep scrolling.)

62: How many local Family Dollar employees will be laid off soon due to company-wide restructuring that calls for the closing of six stores in the city.

100 to 200: Number of “unruly juveniles” the police say were throwing rocks and bricks at Temple University cops last night. Three arrests were made and no police officers were injured, which makes me think maybe the number of actual brick throwers has been overstated.

1980: The year the article below appeared in the Baltimore Sun. (We usually keep Philly Today local, but I found this while flipping through the newspapers.com archives and felt like sharing.)

“Direct hit would topple Md. spans, official says.” Baltimore Sun, May 10, 1980

$5,000: How much the Rhode Island Ethics Commission has fined former state property director David Patten following his now-infamous trip to Philadelphia in 2023, during which he allegedly demanded vegan delicacies, made sexist and racist remarks, and used his position for personal gain.

24,000: Number of meals the the American Atheists — who are in town for a convention — say they’ll be handing out to local people in need this Easter. Bless them.

$9.25 million: How much the city will have to pay to settle with the protestors who were tear-gassed, pepper-sprayed and shot with rubber bullets in 2020 during a peaceful demonstration following the murder of George Floyd.

Local Talent

Former and therefore forever Philadelphian Katie Crutchfield and her band Waxahatchee appeared on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night. With vocal/guitar support from MJ Lenderman, the band played “Right Back to It” from their sixth record Tigers Blood, released last Friday.

 

And From the Hi-Atus Sports Desk …

Nothin’. I got nothin’ for ya. What can I say? We’re in a lull. The Sixers play the Clippers at 7:30 tonight, though, back home from their not-so-hot road trip out West. L.A. was the only team we beat while we were out there.

Well, Did the Phillies Play?

Nope — but it’s Opening Day tomorrow, and they’ll face the Braves at CBP at 3:05, weather, uh, permitting. It looks kind of iffy, frankly. But hey, yesterday was the late, great Harry Kalas’s birthday.

The Flyers played, but only Patrick cares.

This South Philly Sports Apparel Brand Is a Home Run With Fans

Blessed in Distress philly sports clothes phillies

Blessed in Distress founder Jennifer Basile / Photography by Julia Lehman

I make: Custom Philly sports-inspired sweatshirts. All items are made to order — spray-dyed and solid, cropped and full-length, hoodies­ and quarter-zips. I design clothes for babies through adult 5XL.

It all began: When the pandemic hit. My job as a sixth-grade teacher transitioned to virtual learning, so I had extra time — even though my son was about four or five months old. I started out dyeing and distressing­ graphic t-shirts. Then a good friend was like, “You live in South Philly; you should start doing the Philly sports.” And that took off, so I’ve stuck with it.

Blessed in Distressed Phillies sports clothing

Jennifer Basile works on her Cricut machine to make a Blessed in Distressed Phillies-inspired shirt.

Every piece is hand-dyed: I scrunch up the sweatshirt, spray it with fabric dye, flip it over, and spray it again. Then I put it through my washing machine at home to fade the color. Once that’s done, I fray the bottom or do some distressing­ with scissors on the front. I work with graphic designers to bring my ideas to life. Graphics are heat-pressed, or I print them on my Cricut. My turnaround time for orders is typically two weeks.

My most popular style is: The “Dancing On My Own” design inspired by the Phillies’ playoff runs. I can see Citizens Bank Park from my classroom window.

Blessed in Distress philly sports clothes phillies

Phillies-inspired graphics by Blessed in Distress

I’m inspired by: Philly sports fans. They’re the most passionate that exist, I swear. I don’t realize how much of these products I’m making,­ and then to see them out — it’s mind-blowing. I once got messages from two different people at a bar in Kansas City, when the Eagles were playing, and they were like, “We recognized­ each other’s merchandise because we both knew it was from you.” They got a picture together and sent it to me. It’s the coolest thing.

Published as “Team Player” in the April 2024 issue of Philadelphia magazine.

All the Details on Mulherin’s New Pizza Project in Midtown Village

A rendering of Mulherin’s Pizzeria / Image provided by Method Co.

Howdy, buckaroos! And welcome back to the Foobooz food news round-up. I know it’s sunny outside, and starting to feel more like spring, so let me just get you caught up on a few quick bits of news from the industry and then we can all get back to our weeks. This time around, let’s kick things off with an update on the new Mulherin’s project.

Pizza, Pasta and Soft-Serve At The New Mulherin’s in Midtown Village

Mulherin’s Pizzeria — that’s the official new name. And when I first told y’all about it a couple weeks back, I knew exactly three things about it. First, that it was going to be called just “Mulherin’s” (which turned out to be wrong). Second, that it was going into the ground floor of the Girard at 1175 Ludlow Street in Midtown Village (still true). And third, that it was looking to open in early April. So just a few short weeks away.

Chef Sean McPaul will be running the joint. He has a pretty solid resume, with turns through the kitchens at Parc, Talula’s Garden and elsewhere, and according to those who know, he’ll be “Tak[ing] cues from Wm. Mulherin’s Sons original concept while placing a greater focus on the pizza program.” Hence the name, I guess. Because it would be weird if they called the place Mulherin’s Pizzeria and served nothing but sushi and cotton candy.

Pizza, handmade pastas and “vegetable-forward small plates” are the new marching orders. There’ll be house-made soft-serve for dessert, a craft cocktail menu, and Italian wines. McPaul and his crew will be knocking out new pizza inventions like the “Scarlet O’Hara” with marinara, n’duja, bagna cauda and lemon, alongside OG Mulherin’s favorites like the “Spicy Jawn” — which, back in the day anyway, was a great pie with a shocking heat and excellent, blistered crust from a big, wood-fired oven.

McPaul will have his own wood oven to play with — visible from the open kitchen. There’ll be tile floors, saddle leather banquettes, and wood-beam ceilings inside, a covered, year-round courtyard for outdoor dining. And the kitchen will be doing an all-day menu once things get up and running — though I don’t know yet whether that means two meals, three, or three-plus-late-nights. It’s always hard to guess with a hotel restaurant (which this kinda is, with owner Method Co.’s Roost extended-stay concept sharing the same building), but I can tell you that they’ll be opening with an 11:30 a.m. to 9 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday schedule.

So mark it on your calendars, friends: Early April, Mulherin’s Pizzeria.

Now what else is in the news? Oh, right…

One Sure Sign of Spring

A lively evening at Bok Bar. / Photograph by Jennifer Strickland

In a list of iconic images of Philly, there are plenty that no one would argue with. The Love Park sculpture, the Art Museum steps, Boathouse Row, the Linc on game day. And while I would argue that in order to truly capture the soul of this city, you’d need a few less obvious inclusions (Friday evening in Chinatown, any Septa train on game day, Two Street after the Mummer’s Parade is over, there are others), one image that could absolutely be used to show the essence of Philly shaking off the cold and damp of winter would be a shot of a busy Saturday night on the rooftop patio at the Bok.

There’s just something about that view over South Philly, the energy of that space, everything. At certain moments, the line at John’s Roast Pork or the El rattling through Kensington might capture a side of Philly, good or bad, but to me, golden hour at the Bok has always felt like Philly at its best. Or anyway, its most wildly utopian.

All of which is a really long way of saying that, come April 11th, the rooftop bar will be re-opening for the season. And this year, they’ve got a BIG roster of seven different chefs and/or restaurants doing seven month-long Bok Bar residencies to feed all those people crowding the patio.

It’s a good list, kicking off with Darnel’s Cakes in April, then Jezabel’s in May, Puyero in June, pizza from Down North in July, Mexi-Korean fusion goodness from Korea Taqueria in August, Gabriella’s Vietnam in September, and finally, all the way from New Jersey, Sweet Amalia to wrap things up in October.

That, friends, is what is known as a winning lineup. All killer, no filler as my man Dave Herrera used to say. There is nothing on that list that isn’t exciting. And the Bok team are rounding all that out with a full schedule of dance classes, drag shows, rooftop yoga, a summer concert series, new art by local artists. Yeah, no one was sitting on their hands during the off-season. Kids and families are welcome any time before sunset on Friday and Saturday nights. Dogs are always welcome. Bok Bar will be open Wednesdays through Sundays, from April 11th all the way through to November 3rd. You can get specifics here (also good for booking a semi-private area if you’ve got a big party in tow), and make reservations for any of the upcoming events right here.

Speaking of Seasonal Openings…

Bok Bar isn’t the only spot in town taking advantage of the longer days and warmer temperatures. Last year, FCM Hospitality and Avram Hornik launched a brand-new pop-up concept called Walnut Garden — an “urban oasis and cocktail garden” built at 17th and Walnut over the wreck of a McDonald’s and a Vans shoe store that burned down during the George Floyd social justice protests.

Socio-political optics aside, FCM turned an 11,500-square-foot vacant spot into a green and beautiful place featuring benches, table seating, a playground for kids, soft-serve ice cream and, of course, a bar.

Two bars, actually, serving craft cocktails, beer and NA beverages to the crowds that flocked there. And this year, FCM is bringing it back again. Same spot, same concept, same beautiful landscaping, but with a few changes. Last year, they had an Asian street-food thing going in the kitchen. This year, it’s more party food — smoked potato salad, garlic soft pretzels with pimento cheese dip, burgers, fried cheese curds, smoked brisket cheesesteaks and a chorizo and kimchi beef hot dog. The bar has canned, draft and hand-made cocktails (including one featuring watermelon lollipop-flavored vodka, if you’re into that kind of thing), beer and wine. There’s a big tent for shade, TVs, an eclipse-watching party already planned for April 8th, and the big grand opening this year is April 4th — like literally just a week away.

Walnut Garden will be open 7 days a week, from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. on weekdays, noon to 11 p.m. on the weekends, and noon to 10 p.m. on Sundays. And if you need additional information on any of this, you can check out the website right here for details on hours, menus, events and anything else you might need.

Now whose got room for some leftovers?

The Leftovers

Photo courtesy of The West Reading Craft Pretzel & Beer Fest

Last week, we spent a BUNCH of time talking about the new Chef Conference coming to Philly. It’s a large event — a magnet for some really big names in the industry, featuring a ton of panel discussions and collaboration dinners — and a super-big-deal for Philly. But it isn’t the only chef conference in town.

The original Philly Chef Conference was an event organized through the hospitality school at Drexel, and it was cool. It brought in some big guns from the national scene, but had a distinctly local flavor. And even though this shiny new conference is getting a lot of ink (largely because it’s happening in mid-April), the Drexel version is still happening as well.

It’s scheduled for October 13th and 14th at Drexel (as it always has been) and will feature a day of workshops, keynotes and a local producer reception, followed by a more hands-on day of demos, panel discussions, tastings and presentations. There’s a heavy educational component to Drexel’s conference — it acts as a way to introduce their students to a lot of big names in the industry — and also as an excuse for a lot of Philly’s chefs and producers to get together in the same place at the same time (something that just doesn’t happen that often).

With months yet before kickoff, the Philly Chef Conference doesn’t have a schedule or agenda — they’ll be announcing that this summer. But if you’re looking to stay up-to-date, keep an eye on the Philly Chef Conference website for updates. I know I will be.

And hey, here’s something else you’re going to have to wait for. It looks like the Southeast Asian Market at FDR Park needs to delay their opening. The original plan was to kick off the 2024 season on March 30th, but that’s not gonna happen. According to a statement, the Vendor’s Association of FDR Park said, “This year there are some requirements for the Market to proceed. That being said, the Vendors Association of FDR Park Board is diligently addressing these requirements in a timely manner so that the Market can open its doors as quickly as possible.”

There’s no hard opening date right now, but we’re likely talking weeks not days. The statement went on to say, “Everyone understands the necessity of these steps to lay a strong foundation for the Market’s future permanent home […]. We are confident that our SEA Market will be welcoming the community soon and we thank you for your patience as we navigate these challenges during this time.”

And finally this week, here’s something we do have a date for: The West Reading Craft Pretzel & Beer Fest. Normally, I wouldn’t be sharing news about something happening in Reading. That’s not really my beat. But this is pretzels and beer — two of the three sections of my own personal Food Pyramid, so I figured I’d pass along the information. The WRCP&B Fest is happening on Saturday, April 27th, from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., on Penn Avenue in West Reading. You can get all the information you need right here.

Philadelphia Had More Exonerations Last Year Than 46 States

Larry Krasner

Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner, whose Conviction Integrity Unit is partly responsible for the city’s high exoneration rate. / Image courtesy of 6 ABC

Check phillymag.com each morning Monday through Thursday for the latest edition of Philly Today. And if you have a news tip for our hardworking Philly Mag reporters, please direct it here. You can also use that form to send us reader mail. We love reader mail!

Philly Near Tops in The U.S. in Exonerations

Every year, the National Registry of Exonerations puts out an annual report, an eye-popping document dedicated to the methodical, statistical accounting of just how badly we’ve destroyed many, many people’s lives with wrongful convictions.

This year’s report (which chronicles the exonerations of 2023) was especially interesting to read, as it lays out in plain English just how many of the year’s 153 exonerations nationwide came from our fair burg of Philadelphia. Of the 16 exonerations in Pennsylvania this past year, 15 were from Philadelphia. That’s more exonerations than 46 states. Only one jurisdiction — Cook County, Illinois — had more than Philly, with 23. It’s worth pointing out that Cook County is the second-most populous county in the United States, home to 5.3 million residents and 134 different municipalities. Fifteen people were exonerated from New York City’s five boroughs, also.

Previous to 2023, the most people ever exonerated from Philly was 13, back in 2019. As District Attorney Larry Krasner’s director of research, Oren Gur, said on Twitter/X/whatever: “A jurisdiction that represents .45% of US population accounted for 10% of its exonerations last year.” Eight of last year’s exonerees were due to the work of the DA’s Conviction Integrity Unit.

Two men spent 40-plus years incarcerated, longer than I’ve been alive. All told, the 15 Philadelphians released last year spent 301 total years behind bars.

Anthony Gargano Returns to the Airwaves, Errr, Ear Buds

Last fall, Victor brought you all the news about longtime sportsmouth Anthony Gargano’s dispute with 97.5 The Fanatic. Suspensions, lawsuits, you name it. At the center of the dispute was PHLY Sports, the nascent sports news platform, with which Gargano intended to host a podcast. In October, the two parties negotiated a settlement  that would keep Gargano off the air for six months. Well, time’s up: The Anthony Gargano Show launches on Thursday.

Following Years of Death and Escapes, Philly Prison Commissioner to Retire

The eight-year tenure of Philly prison commissioner Blanche Carney hasn’t been smooth. Eighteen people died in city jails in 2021 alone. The Philadelphia correctional officers union cast a unanimous no-confidence vote in Carney last year. And over six months, there have been four escapes. Sure, this doesn’t all fall at Carney’s feet — the system has a 40-percent job vacancy rate — but she’s had enough. According to the Inquirer, her last day is April 5th.

And From the Let’s-Go-Home Sports Desk …

Last night, in the finale of the Sixers’ road trip, they faced the Kings with starters Nico Batum, Tobias Harris, Mo Bamba, Tyrese Maxey and Kyle Lowry. (Kelly Oubre Jr. was out with a sore shoulder.) They did not get off to a great start. Bamba promptly (really promptly) picked up two fouls, and the shooting was cold. But Maxey heated up and hit some threes.

Still, three fouls on K.J. Martin already? End of the first: Kings led, 31-25. At least Tyrese had surpassed his record for single-quarter points, with 21. The game stayed tight through the second until the final minutes, when the Kings stretched their slim lead to 48-40. And K.J. picked up his fourth, after a review ruled he’d committed an offensive foul. And a mystery technical foul on Tyrese? It was all heading south.

In the third, it was more of the same, and a T on Bamba for mouthing off to the refs — his fourth. Sensitive tonight! “These aren’t even satisfying technicals!” Ala Abdelnaby faux-raged. Domantas Sabonis picked up his 54th (?!?) consecutive double-double.

Things did not look good. D.J. Wilson marked his Sixers debut by hitting two straight treys to pull us within 11 near the close of the third, but that was a high point. Kate Scott and Ala did their best to be upbeat, but man, this team is not playing well. Joel, where are you? Are you ever coming back? Final: 108-96.

How’d the Phillies Do?

Well, they got dinged by Tampa Bay again. J.T. Realmuto got things going for us in the first with a two-run homer, but starter David Buchanan gave up five hits in his four innings, with two earned runs — though he did strike out four Rays. Everybody gets a breather now before Opening Day at CBP on Thursday. When, um, it’s supposed to rain.

The Flyers play today.

On the Market: Bi-Level Condo in Fitler Square

condo for sale fitler square bi-level exterior front

This handsome residence, designed in 1904 by Theophilus Channdler, once housed the Episcopal Bishop of Pennsylvania. It now houses ten condos, and we think you’ll find the one at 251 S. 22nd St., Unit A, Philadelphia, PA 19103 divine. / Photography by Daniel Isayeff, DASI Photography, and *renderings via Societe Select | Serhant except where noted

Back in the day — the late 19th and early 20th centuries, to be specific — the Episcopal Diocese of Pennsylvania must have been a really big deal.

It commissioned a grand home for itself in 1894, hiring the architectural firm of Baily & Truscott to build it.

condo for sale fitler square bi-level the beasley building

The Beasley Building, originally the Episcopal Diocese House, at 12th and Walnut streets in Washington Square West / Google Street View image, April 2023

That building looks like this today. After the Episcopal Diocese left in 1921, the building served over the years as a home for the Chamber of Commerce, a Jefferson Medical College building, a venerable uniform shop and two well-known dance clubs. In 1986, attorney James E. Beasley bought it and restored it to something close to its original appearance, winning a preservation award for the job. The law firm he founded calls it home now.

Then, in 1904, it commissioned noted local architect Theophilus Chandler, the man who founded Penn’s architecture school, to design the mansion you see at the top of this article as a home for its bishop, Alexander Mackay-Smith. You will find it listed in the Philadelphia Architects and Buildings database as the Mackay Residence, and it’s listed on both the city and national historic registers.

In 1980, architect Otto Spur converted the Bishop Mackay-Smith House, as it was also known, into 10 condominiums and renamed it Chandler Place after its original architect. This Fitler Square bi-level condo for sale is one of those 10, and it’s the most spectacular of them all.

condo for sale fitler square bi-level main living area

Main living area

That’s because its main living area consists of the original living room.

 condo for sale fitler square bi-level foyer

Foyer

You enter it via the original foyer, off of which sits one of its two bedrooms.

condo for sale fitler square bi-level bedroom

Bedroom

That bedroom has original woodwork, a 14-foot-high ceiliing, a fireplace and an en-suite bath. Either it or the bedroom on the lower level could be considered the primary one, as you will soon see. It depends on your preferences.

Note also the mahogany inlays in the walnut parquet floor. These are also original to this residence and have been beautifully restored throughout the main floor.

dining area

Dining area

The unit has also been updated since 1980 with new, more modern lighting that nonetheless enhances the classic Gilded Age detailing and coffered ceiling.

living room

Living room

A stone fireplace remains the living area’s focal point. A paneled seating nook nestles at one end of the space, while a kitchen got inserted into the other.

kitchen

Kitchen

That kitchen combines custom traditional cabinetry with a turn-of-the-century-style tile backsplash and up-to-date stainless-steel appliances.

lower-level stair landing

Lower-level stair landing

A curved staircase with a classic banister leads to the lower level, where you will find the laundry in the hall. A work desk currently sits here as well.

bedroom

Bedroom*

bedroom

Bedroom*

The second bedroom has a simpler appearance but also has a marble fireplace. It also has a bar with a wine fridge in its dressing room.

bathroom

Bathroom

bathroom

Bathroom*

Its bathroom is also more luxurious than the one upstairs. It has stone-tile walls, a freestanding soaking tub and a luxurious Hansgrohe steam shower.

coutyard entrance

Courtyard entrance

You also can relax in the building’s leafy courtyard when you feel like a little fresh air without having to walk. But there are also plenty of great outdoor — and indoor — spaces to walk to nearby. The outdoor ones include Fitler Square, Rittenhouse Square and the Schuylkill River Park and Trail. Plenty of fine dining options also abound in the area, and there’s neighborhood shopping at 22nd and South Street, a Giant supermarket and a Trader Joe’s within walking distance, and boutique shopping on Rittenhouse Row.

So not only is this Fitler Square bi-level condo for sale an ultra-luxurious residence in a historic building with a sanctified pedigree, but it’s also a very conveniently located abode where you can enjoy all the excitement of the city in a tranquil setting.

THE FINE PRINT

BEDS: 2

BATHS: 2 full, 1 half

SQUARE FEET: 2,154

SALE PRICE: $2,000,000

OTHER STUFF: A $600 per month condo fee covers building and grounds maintenance and insurance.

251 S. 22nd St., Unit A, Philadelphia, PA 19103 [Maureen Reynolds and Justina A. Goldman | Societe Select | Serhant]

An A.I. Expert Came to Town and Said We’re All Going to Die

artificial intelligence

Made this image by typing “wide image of Philadelphia being stomped on by a laptop robot” into Microsoft’s artificial-intelligence-powered Designer. Look at those knock-off Chuck Taylors.

After speaking with many top artificial intelligence (AI) experts from all over the world, John Sherman believes humankind could be completely wiped out in two to 10 years.

Last week, the Peabody-winning journalist, video editor and podcaster drove up from Baltimore to Microsoft’s Malvern campus to give a presentation on the subject, titled Thrill Us, Then Kill Us? AI Existential Risk: The Hardest Conversation. And it was indeed a hard conversation, partly due to the subject matter and partly because the audience — made up mostly of programmers, as the event was hosted by a long-running computer science group called Philly.Net — frequently if politely hijacked the meeting to weigh in on the subject.

“I think it will happen this entirely different way.” “Did you read this article?” “I for one welcome our AI overlords.” Sigh.

Sherman’s role was somewhere between Paul Revere, Cassandra and Jordan Klepper — trying to convince us that while right now Chat GPT et al. are merely good for creating silly images and bad writing at our command, its successors could one day act on their own free will: unprompted, in secret, and for reasons we cannot yet imagine.

Sherman took the runaway conversation in stride even as he lopped off the middle bits of his presentation to keep things contained within the allotted two-hour time slot.

artificial intelligence

John Sherman (right) is the host of For Humanity: An AI Safety Podcast. / Let’s see AI make a better image than this photo by Patrick Rapa.

 

He cited several articles, groups and terms that bear sharing:

  • Pause AI: An org that “aims to mitigate the risks of AI. (including the risk of human extinction).”
  • Pausing AI Developments Isn’t Enough. We Need to Shut it All Down” (Time Magazine, March 29th, 2023)
  • Unaligned AI: Basically, this is artificial intelligence that has different goals and values from humanity.
  • Probability of Doom (a.k.a. PDoom): How likely it is that AI will cause “catastrophic harm” to humanity, according to your personal approximation. Many experts say their PDoom is 20-30 percent. For some, as time passes and the advancements pile up, doom appears inevitable.
  • Artificial General Intelligence: While our current “narrow AI” only does specific tasks, the right-now theoretical AGI will be better than people at lots of stuff, maybe all stuff. (This is what some call the singularity, at least in movies.) If AGI is better and smarter than us, how can we hope to control it? How can we even relate to it?
  • Effective Accelerationism, a.k.a. (e/acc): Some Silicon Valley people don’t care and think tech should march into the future unfettered. Are they capitalists or trolls? Naive or clear-eyed? Fearless or thoughtless?

Like all of us, Sherman is just guessing about what’s coming, although he’s clearly done more homework on the subject than most. So consider taking it with a grain of salt, but not outright cynicism, when he looks into the future and sees something vague but very, very bad. Artificial intelligence, he said, will overtake humans quickly and without warning. It doesn’t need to be evil or even sentient, just smart enough to use its available powers to achieve its goals. He fears for the lives of his children.

Sherman described one chilling scenario: If AI decides humans are a problem, it could hire people off the internet to mix chemicals and gas us. Death by Task Rabbit. Later, he dropped another bombshell: “AI-caused extinction is not the worst outcome.” AI may decide to “make digital copies of humans and torture us for trillions of years.” Why? Why would it do that? Seems like a strange move for a futuristic, ultra-efficient superintelligence.

But it’s all about the paradigm shift. Sherman encouraged the audience to imagine a future in which we look at AI the way ants look at humans. Meaning we’ll be somewhere between oblivious, baffled and powerless. The presentation was certainly compelling and alarming, but since the subject demands wild speculation, Sherman could never be 100 percent convincing.

Perhaps the most sobering fact he presented was this: Fewer than 300 people are working on AI safety right now. Seems bad! Maybe we should fix that, and pass some laws regulating the industry while we’re at it.

Which is why he’s so adamant about raising concerns about the unknown unknowns. Will humanity be reduced to a paleolithic existence? Wiped out entirely? Enslaved by computers? Locked in a Skynet/Cylon battle for control? Will we merely be unemployed and impoverished? Or subjugated? An AI-based future seems like it will suck no matter what.

(If you’re interested in the whole discussion, a video of the event exists and will hopefully be uploaded soon to Philly.Net’s Youtube page.)

Local Talent

Singer-songwriter Eliza Hardy Jones has a new song out, and a new record called Pickpocket due April 19th. “This is the Year” is a dreamy acoustic rock number laced with sneaky sadness. Jones has been a fixture on the Philly music scene for years, playing with the War on Drugs, Japanese Breakfast, Strand of Oaks, Buried Beds and more. She also does this really cool quilting project.

By the Numbers

#1: Barbie was the best-selling movie in 30 years for local independent movie theater group Renew.

6.74: Inches of rain this city has gotten so far this year.

31: Goals scored by Travis Konecny so far this season. Sandy doesn’t care much for hockey, so I thought I’d slip this in before her sports roundup, which starts… now.

From the This-and-That Sports Desk …

Here’s your weekend wrap-up! On Friday night, the Sixers played a late game against the Lakers and LeBron. Starters: Tobias Harris (back from his injury), Kelly Oubre Jr., Tyrese Maxey, Mo Bamba and Kyle Lowry. The guys acquitted themselves well on the second leg of their Western journey, staying even with LeBron and Co. through most of the first half and ahead 52-50 at the break. We were up by six halfway through the third; the lead bounced back and forth after that until Paul Reed picked up his fourth foul with seconds left in the third. Even so, we closed out the quarter up 76-75. Maxey was keeping us in it, barely.

https://twitter.com/NBATV/status/1771394444224242117

Where would we be without him? Well, worse off than we wound up after a lopsided final quarter in which the Lakers outscored us 26 to 18. Final: 101-94 Lakers. And the killer: a too-late Maxey trey that didn’t count.

On Sunday, we were in Los Angeles to play the Clippers, and wonder of wonders, we came out strong and got stronger — right up until the Clippers had a 10-0 run at the end of the first half. We were still up 63-56, though, and Tobias had 19 points. L.A. kept it close through the third, finishing only down 88-85, but the Sixers were dominant in the final frame, embarking on a 13-0 run, and wound up on top, 121-107. Oh, this was enjoyable:

Tonight, we face the Kings in the final game of the West Coast road trip, with tip-off at 10 p.m.

How’d the Phillies Do?

They had an afternoon game with the Rays on Thursday, and it was an interesting one. They were down 3-1 after the third, took the lead with a four-run sixth, and then lost, 6-5, when Tampa Bay put up two in the eighth and one in the ninth. At least it wasn’t another tie. Kody Clemens had a solo homer. And they found a whole new way to lose Friday’s game, headed into the ninth with a 3-0 lead on, among other things, a solo homer from Edmundo Sosa. But Gregory Soto then served up two homers and a 4-3 loss. Oy.

On Saturday, Cristian Pache and Whit Merrifield were the hitting stars of a 6-6 tie with the Yankees. Starter Spencer Turnbull went three scoreless innings and struck out five, which more than makes up for the three hits he relinquished. Bryce Harper played and had an RBI.

In Sunday’s game, Aaron Nola went 5.2 scoreless innings, and the relief staff was peerless as well in a game against the Blue Jays. Trea Turner and Alec Bohm had two hits each in the 2-0 victory. This afternoon, they play an early one against the Rays, starting at 12:05 p.m. And after that — Thursday is Opening Day! At Citizens Bank Park, no less. You gotta believe!

Any Soccer News?

In Thursday night’s U.S. Men’s National Team CONCACAF Nations League semifinal — that’s a mouthful — Jamaica scored in the first seconds of the game, and the U.S.’s Cory Burke, a former Union player, got one past current Union goalie Andre Blake in the final seconds of overage for an unlikely 1-1 tie. Haji Wright scored for us again in the extra frame, then again in the second extra. That was the final: 3-1 us. I mean, U.S.!

The final, against always-tough opponent Mexico, was on Sunday night, and the play was even through the first half, right up until 44:44, when Tyler Adams put a long one through for the U.S. Gio Reyna added another in the 62nd, after which Mexico was awarded a penalty kick in the 71st for a trip on Antonee Robinson, but the call was overturned following a video review. Then, in the 87th minute, pejorative chants of some sort began, and the referees stopped the match, after which a lot of Mexico fans headed for the exits. Play started up again, stopped again in stoppage for the same reason, and then ended with the score 2-0. A sad coda, but a U.S. win.

But What About Doop News?

The Union were all the way out in Portland for a late game against the Timberwolves on Saturday night, and the post saved the first serious threat from Portland, at 21 minutes in. We scored first, at 28 minutes on a shot by Julián Carranza, and after the half, Mikail Uhre almost scored in the 51st minute, which makes the game sound much more one-sided than it was; sub goalie Oliver Semmle was having a very good night. Or maybe it was one-sided — Quinn Sullivan made it 2-0 us with a chip-in on a goalie deflection at 57 minutes.

And Carranza tacked on yet another in the 67th. Damn, when did we get this good? Well, Portland did notch one in the 79th, but hey, way too little too late. Yet another Carranza goal was waved off for offsides, so the final was 3-1 — despite eight minutes of overage. Doop!

Um. It’s Ice-Skating Season Now?

It is! And Mount Holly’s own Isabeau Levito, age 17, took the silver medal in the ISU’s World Figure Skating Championships on Friday!

The Flyers also played.