Welcome to the fifth annual edition of the Wildwood Boardwalk T-Shirt Guide!
Not a lot has changed on the boards since I did my first one of these in 2012. I probably wouldn’t have believed you four years ago if you told me that I’d still be doing this in 2016. I definitely wouldn’t have believed you if you told me Donald Trump would be the hottest item on boardwalk shirts this year.
But it’s true. I spoke with five different shop owners during a trip to the Wildwood boardwalk this week. None of them wanted to be identified — perhaps because of the massive copyright infringement the Wildwood boardwalk t-shirt business thrives on, or maybe they were just shy — but they all agreed: They expect to sell a ton of Donald Trump merchandise this summer.
[ Previous Wildwood boardwalk t-shirt columns: 2012 | 2013 (’13 Update) | 2014 | 2015 (’15 Update) ]
But if the hottest shirts on the Wildwood boardwalk this summer are ones supporting Donald Trump, the number two item might be shirts opposing him.
(Yes, that’s a “We Shall Overcomb” pun on a shirt that has turned Donald Trump’s hair into a bald eagle.) Read more »
Who could roll their eyes at this? The author could.
Not long ago a treasured possession of mine — an audio tape my dad made when I was about four — got ruined. Somehow the tape in the cassette disappeared and now when I try to play it there’s a vast nothingness where sound should be. On the tape, I am pretending to be a lecturer at the Academy of Natural Sciences, schooling my dad in all kinds of animal facts — some true, some invented, and some attributed to Mommy, who was giving me some seriously inaccurate information (the natural diet of the elephant is not, in fact, buttered popcorn). When I’d get off track, my dad would prod me: “And where do giraffes live, Elizabeth?” “Africa!” That kind of thing.
A lot of people have such keepsakes — childhood recordings and home movies. The fact of the tape itself wasn’t unique. But I kept this tape in a special box, so that I’d never lose it, for two reasons. First of all, one side is comprised, entirely, of my dad methodically repeating curse words — “Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” — slowly, in a grave tone. He sounds like a serial killer, but it’s also weirdly hilarious. He used to leave the tape playing for his parrot, Miles, hoping the bird would pick stuff up. He never did.
The other reason I treasured this tape was because it contained absolute, touching proof of my Philadelphia origins — proof that was better than a birth certificate because it could be heard in one key exchange:
“Where does the hippo live, Elizabeth?” my father asks.
“In the wooder,” I say. Read more »
Will Jahlil Okafor and Nerlens Noel both be on the roster next year? | Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports
This week we continue our 76ers mailbag series, where we discuss some of the pressing topics around the team.
In the 21st edition of our Sixers mailbag we discuss how the potential drafting of Ben Simmons impacts the Sixers’ later picks, how Simmons would fit with Joel Embiid, and whether or not the Sixers really need to alleviate their crowded front court.
Read more »
According to a report from David Aldridge of NBA.com, the Sixers will hire P.J. Carlesimo as associate head coach | Debby Wong-USA TODAY Sports
According to David Aldridge of NBA.com, the Philadelphia 76ers will add P.J. Carlesimo to Brett Brown‘s coaching staff. Carlesimo will replace Mike D’Antoni as associate head coach.
A spot on head coach Brett Brown’s staff opened up when the Houston Rockets hired Mike D’Antoni to be their next head coach. D’Antoni was added to Brown’s staff in December.
The hiring may not yet be official, however. According to a source with knowledge of the situation, head coach Brett Brown is still evaluating candidates and does not have a timetable on when that decision will be reached.
Keith Pompey of the Philadelphia Inquirer initially reported that Carlesimo was a possibility.
Read more »
Photos courtesy of West Philly Local
A restaurant called Clarkville at 43rd Street and Baltimore Avenue in West Philly was tagged early Thursday morning with an anonymous note: “Gentri Go Home.” (They misspelled “gentry,” but you get the idea.) Read more »
Ben Simmons | Photo by Randy Sartin/USA TODAY Sports
Judging by call volume, the Philadelphia 76ers are the second-most popular sports team in Philadelphia.
People have been gaga over the last three weeks with Sixers talk on a couple fronts: one, who do the Sixers take with the first pick in the NBA Draft: Ben Simmons or Brandon Ingram? And two, would you trade Jahlil Okafor to the Boston Celtics for the third pick in the draft?
It’s funny that there’s so much interest in a franchise that has been dead for so long. But hope is a beautiful thing. By stockpiling young talent, the Sixers have become a favorite of sorts to become Philadelphia’s next championship team. I’m on record saying the year 2020 will yield the fruit of four major sports franchises being contenders. There are a lot of folks who think the Sixers might beat that deadline. Read more »
A truck fire early this morning has slowed traffic to a halt on the Bucks County section of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. While no injuries were reported, the incident has triggered a hazmat situation requiring extensive cleanup. All eastbound lanes between Bensalem and Delaware Valley are closed, and drivers are being detoured around the cleanup site. Read more »
Hollywood has it right, the music industry has it wrong. When the movie industry pauses during awards shows to honor the deceased they unroll a spool of greatest hits highlights. You get to relive actors’ most memorable lines and performances; the screen lingering over some choice scenes, characters or films closely tied to legacy. It’s as if the performers are briefly given life again — the screen fills up and lets us relive their most iconic moments. It’s a conjuring of sentiment, memory and reverence that makes it feel more like a séance; Chris Rock gathers us together, the room goes dark, and for five minutes Leonard Nimoy is with us again, wizened eyebrows and all.
But if Hollywood is a séance, the music industry is an exhumation. The music industry prefers to unearth the body of work of its deceased and give them a sometimes macabre, typically grotesque, tribute performance. It’s an awkward reanimation of the artist that usually pales in comparison of the original. And with the music awards season fully underway we got our first sight of the Prince of the Undead courtesy of Madonna’s 2016 Billboard Awards performance on Sunday. Her tribute performance was largely pilloried across the spectrum. Though softly aided by Philly’s own Questlove — who introduced her performance and reportedly helped engineer it — in a series of tweets, the internet had already spoken: the performance was horrible. Not even industry-safe props like Stevie Wonder could stave off the poor reception the performance received. Read more »
Keisha Parker at an event on the Main Line.
Before making someone the treasurer of your organization, here’s a tip: Do a background check. That is the lesson being learned by one suburban group that claims that its recent treasurer stole thousands of dollars from the coffer. Read more »