Though I think it would be obvious to all right-thinking people, not everyone believes the Phillie Phanatic is the best mascot in all of recorded history. Allow me to disabuse you of your ignorance by making a simple case in six GIFs from last night’s cold Phillies loss.
The particular Phanatic bit I’ll be focusing on happened in the third inning.
As you can see, the Phanatic was harassing a fan in the stands, as he is wont to do. This is my favorite part about the Phanatic: Its whole shtick is to be jerks to fans of the team he is supposedly a phanatic of. This is the kind of irony kids should be learning in school, alongside Shakespeare.
Then a woman in the stands yells at him. This is so well-planned I spent a lot of time just now considering whether this woman is a plant.
I mean, look at her smile!
It’s like Ralphie in A Christmas Story! So good.
Undeterred by her smile, the Phanatic goes up a few rows and stands right in front of her to block her view of the game.
But is that enough? No! The Phanatic then plops down on top of her and dances.
And dances some more, though this is more like just rubbing his ass in the woman’s face.
See? Pretty good bit. You can enjoy it as a Phillies fan (he’s just having good-natured fun!) or as someone who hates the team (look what he’s doing to those awful Phillies fans!).
Later in the evening, Citizens Bank Park played The Beatles’ “Taxman” and had a guy dressed as a taxman (I guess) twisting on top of the dugout.
So the Phanatic did this. See? The best.
Follow @dhm on Twitter.