The only thing more irritating than traffic-clogging/SEPTA-delaying snow storms is the way people react to them. Without further ado, here is your official Philly Snow Day Drinking Game, chock full of your least-favorite bad-weather memes.
- Somebody attaches suffix “-maggedon” or “-pocalypse” to the word “snow”: Sip beer.
- Someone from Buffalo calls you a weenie on Facebook because there are less than 6 feet of snow on the ground: Finish beer.
- Someone from Chicago calls you a weenie on Facebook and posts a picture of himself shirtless on the shores of Lake Michigan because you don’t have frostbite yet: Do shot.
- John Bolaris says “snow job” during live chat: Do shot.
- Someone makes “do shot” joke during Bolaris live chat: Do shot.
- Someone posts an Instagram picture of their dog frolicking in Rittenhouse Square: Sip beer.
- Somebody puts their disgusting boots up on SEPTA’s cloth seats: Finish your beer. (Wait, stop drinking beer on SEPTA, you’re even worse than they are.)
- Cecily Tynan says “wintry mix”: Chug six-pack.
- Somebody decides to drive somewhere in a motor vehicle: Take a well-deserved sip of the $18 industrial sized jug of Yellowtail you bought from the state store and congratulate yourself for refusing to leave your house.
- Somebody says something offensive about Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman: Tiny sip. You don’t want to lose consciousness today.