GOP’s “Fat Thighs,” “Small Breasts” Hillary Dig Is Really a Compliment

There’s a lot of substance in all that fried chicken.

Hillary Clinton is not amused

Hillary Clinton is not amused.

Thirty-seven months out, and we’re back to Hillary’s body parts.

At the California Republican Party convention over the weekend in Anaheim, political buttons were spotted that read: ‘KFC Hillary Special – 2 Fat Thighs, 2 Small Breasts… Left Wing.’

Funny stuff, eh? A sure-fire approach to recruit women and other minorities to the “new” GOP. I can see the bumper stickers: “Do you want a President with cellulite?” “Hillary for the Thighs-man Trophy.” “Send Hillary to the Fat Farm, not the White House.”

In case you missed it, the double standard is alive and well in presidential politics. Regardless of a woman’s intellect, experience or fitness for office, her body is fair game, and it had better pass muster. Conversely, hotness trumps all. (See Palin, Sarah.)

While some argue that male candidates, too, are under the aesthetic microscope these days, it’s not nearly to the same degree. Case in point: Chris Christie is the size of the Goodyear blimp, but I’ve never heard anyone criticize his ankles.

Yes, ankles. In Carl Bernstein’s controversial 2007 Hillary biography, A Woman in Charge, hers were described as “thick.” A conservative columnist likened them to those of “a rogue elephant”–an insult more appropriately directed at Palin, if you ask me.

We’re talking ankles here, people. They’re like opinions–everybody’s got two.

Sadly, little about Clinton’s physical appearance has escaped public criticism, from her weight to her (alleged) plastic surgery to her wardrobe to her hairstyle to her eyewear. Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “the body politic.”

Even Hillary’s laugh has been mocked by no less a dirtbag than Dick Morris, who used to suck hookers’ toes.

With Hillary expected to run in 2016, this much is beyond dispute: She is, by any measure, a woman of substance. She proved it by almost winning the Democratic nomination in ’08. She proved it again by serving as President Obama’s Secretary of State. Everything she does is news.

To Republicans gathered in Anaheim, however, Hillary has been reduced to a KFC combination of two fat thighs, two small breasts and a left wing.

How would one quantify such metaphorically intended images? I decided to check the nutrition guide on KFC’s website. Two Original Recipe thighs, two breasts and one wing, add up to 1,360 calories, 78 grams of fat and 4,410 milligrams of sodium.

That’s roughly the minimum daily requirement for the country of Somalia. And if that’s not substantive, I don’t know what is, considering how many Somalians are starving.

Besides, I’ll happily take fried chicken–no matter how greasy–over raw crow. That is what Republicans will be eating three years from now, especially those in California.

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  • vceross

    Thanks for giving these jokers a chin-check, Shister. What a world.

  • keepemhonest

    Really? Is this a real piece? Complaining about someone making fun of fat politicians? Ridiculous. Chris Christie is taken a part every night by John Stewart, Colbert, Kimmel, Yadda. Yadda. Yadda. Just because Gail likes Hilliary, and so do I, doesn’t mean you can start calling the sky pink. Fat politicians get killed be they right or left.

    • Rob Swift

      I think the difference may be that John Stewart and Colbert are comedians, peoples who’s occupation entails that they make fun of people from time to time…where as a political convention is much more serious venue where, perhaps, fat jokes and sexism should not be tolerated. And lets not compare Hillary to Chris Christie… he needs therapy.

      • Junior Samples

        I’ll bet you a steak dinner that the person selling those buttons has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with the Republican Party and is just a vendor. He or she may not even be pro-GOP but rather someone looking to make a buck. If I sell hot dogs or hamburgers out of a cart, does that mean I’m German?

  • Marlis Korber

    I want Chris Christie to run against Hillary.

  • Graft

    The American people voted against Mitt Romney because he was rich.

    So why would they vote for Hillary Clinton, when she has twice as much money as Romney, all accrued during her time as a “public servant”?

    At least Romney built successful businesses. Hillary hasn’t worked in the private sector in over 30 years.

    • Raymond G. Whitham

      LOL. You lost, the American public won in 2012. I doubt Hilary Clinton has that much money and NO, Romney didn’t lose because he was rich, but then go ahead and lie to yourself, nobody believes you.

  • Raymond G. Whitham

    Hilary Clinton has fat thighs? Considering the fact that, like Hilary Clinton, NJ Governor Chris Christy will probably run for President in 2016, it begs the question: Do the Republicans really want to go there?