In February, I weighed in on the fashion hits and misses of the Academy Awards—not as someone with a clue about couture or designers, but as a straight guy ogling celebrities. Smartly coordinated accessories are meaningless; who’s wearing who, of no concern. Instead, the question is, WWMD? (Who Would Maxim Do?) With that knuckle-dragging philosophy in mind, here are the hits and misses from last night’s Emmy Awards.
Slutty mermaid. Not in a good way.
There are two reasons why guys watch Modern Family. Both of them are seen here.
Never has so much cleavage looked so boring.
The alien-princess-choker thing is weird. But c’mon, it’s Heidi Klum.
My grandmother had a tablecloth like that.
And curtains like that.
And wrapping paper like that.
Points off for tasteful cleavage.
Is that her underwear? A nipple, maybe? I’m going with “yes.”
This woman has four kids.
I do not understand what’s going on. Don’t think she does, either.
Slutty pilgrim. Not in a good way.