Penn Students: Pooping in Bushes, Peeing in Wawas

Last week, a drunk Penn student was seen “droppin’ trou and lettin’ loose” in a bush near 39th and Spruce. A couple nights later, another damning report trickled in to the mailboxes of the Daily Pennsylvanian.

At approximately 2:30am a few nights ago, we received this tip:

Uh a girl just peed on the floor in Wawa. She also stayed to shop and had to be forcibly ejected.

Why, Wawa Wee-Wee Woman?

On a more sanitary note, we later found out that her blessed friends stayed in Wawa to pick up her sandwich and other dining accoutrements before fleeing the scene.

Penn: Since more liquor stores are coming to campus, it’s only right to provide more bathrooms for the poor, drunken students who’ve lost all control of their internal plumbing.