Bradley Cooper To Make A Movie in Spandex

Good news! Philly homeboy Bradley Cooper has signed up to star in a movie where he will be clad in tight spandex, and spend most of the two hours pushing his lean, sinewy body to the limits, engaging in physical activity that will make him sweat and hone his already near-perfect form even closer to a razor-sharp desirability. Apparently it has to do with Lance Armstrong or something. Who cares? Bradley Cooper! Spandex! Our year is already made!