As a straight male, I don’t judge Oscars style based on hairstyles, shoes or jewelry. I can’t tell the difference between a dress from Tom Ford and one from Target. Instead, I utilize the time-honored Bro Scale, influenced mostly by the traditional “hot or not” metric, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, and the shopping-mall couture of Bebe. With that in mind, here are the real winners and losers from last night’s Academy Awards.
That dress is treating her boobs like a terrorist in Zero Dark Thirty.
MORE OSCARS: Read our complete Oscars show recap, “From Seth MacFarlane’s Bad Jokes to Puppy Purses: the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly of Oscars 2013.”