It’s National Mistress Day. Do You Know Where Your Husband Is?

Philly is just overflowing with cheaters.

Dear Monica,
Is it true that February 13th is now being referred to as “Mistress Day”? Women need to be in the know. —E.L., Wynnewood

Yes, ladies, it is true that men who have mistresses are celebrating with them a new version of Valentine’s Day on the 13th of February. Imagine this: While you are waiting for your husband to woo you with a romantic candlelit dinner, flowers and bling, he is actually busy at the florist two days in a row (once for you and once for her). According to poll results on the infidelity site AshleyMadison.com, 79 percent of cheating husbands plan to meet with their mistresses on February 13th, as their wives have the coveted spot on the real day. The site also reports that Philadelphia ranks in the top 10 of the country’s most adulterous cities. (Yikes!) Here are the most common excuses used by husbands here and across the nation as they prepare for their rendezvous.

•    Staying late at work. Yes, people do work late, but if you have a sixth sense that something is going on behind your back, this excuse should be a major red flag. Women tend to know when their man is stepping out, whether they want to admit it or not.

•   Going to the gym. Going to the gym is the perfect cover as one can show up back at the house in sweats and all disheveled. It’s up to the wife to figure out what the real reason for the cardio is.

•     The ruse of golf outings. Golf provides a four-hour block of time where everyone knows not to bother trying to be in touch. And guys tend to maintain the man code and cover each other’s back.

•    Last-minute out-of-town trips. It’s okay to go on some work trips, but certainly too many overnights are suspect (especially the impromptu ones).

•    He’s late because he is shopping for a gift for you. If he is waiting until the last minute to come up with something, cheater or not, tsk, tsk.

•    You can’t get in touch with him because his phone was on silent and he didn’t realize it. If you’re buying this, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

The practice of celebrating Valentine’s Day with one’s extra ladylove on February 13th is so widely spread that the day has come to be popularly known as Mistress Day. And yet there’s a silver lining in all of this: Restaurateurs, hotel concierges, jewelers and furriers are getting double the business. As far as the scorned wives go, don’t fret ladies: February 13th is the ideal time to catch your cheating man.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/sarah.shaw.148 Sarah Shaw-Zlatich

    Seriously?!! Just another reason so much emphasis shouldn’t be placed on bogus holidays that Hallmark and the media tells us to celebrate. Give up the expectation that on that one day a year we get a fancy dinner, chocolates, jewelry (that Kay, Smyth, or Jared’s tell us to buy so we love our men more). Not condoning adultery by any means at all…but seriously how rediculous is it now that we have to be talking about a National Mistress Day. Make everyday Valentines day and perhaps that will satisfy both the men and the womens needs.

  • http://twitter.com/SalesTeam Ernie Young

    Hmmm. Does forced male monogamy, invented by the ancient Romans, have any Biblical basis?

  • Mikey Cooper

    It is, indeed, very uncommon for working professionals to put their phones on silent during meeting/presentations/sitting in cubes/etc. Very suspicious.

  • Matt

    Where is the rest of this article? Women cheat in almost equal numbers as men.

  • http://twitter.com/Jennife21716786 Jennifer Roberts
  • RickyZ

    I used her; she used me, but, neither one cared! [Bob Seger sang it]