If Obama Had a Gay, Illegal Immigrant, Football-Playing Son Who Looked Like Trayvon Martin

How the President deftly rallies the common folk—and then uses them.

It grieves me to tell you Republican leaders in Congress are just beginning to understand what I’m about to share here. Having watched the President for the last four years, and watching an already active January of debt-ceiling fights, women in combat, gun control, amnesty, gay marriage, gay scouts, and yes, even indicting the game of football, it is astounding how flat-footed congressional Republicans find themselves as Obama steamrolls ahead. And again, it’s only January of Obama’s fifth year in office.

The President’s achievements don’t come from meetings. He achieves nothing in debate or discussion with his opposition. He litigates, promotes and pushes his agenda through a kind of PR offensive that we’ve never seen from a commander-in-chief. Congressional Republicans are going to need to learn how the President does it, and fast.

The best way to oppose it is to first understand it. I have identified—in eight easy steps—Obama’s extraordinary strategy in achieving his goals.

Step one: Find a tragedy, event, or victim to exploit. This can be anything from college girls who want free birth control to murdered elementary school children. From illegal aliens, to suicidal football players.

Step two: Single out the perpetrator or cause of said tragedy or injustice.

Step three: Make grand statements publicly that “everyone can agree” or “reasonable folks can agree” with “my perception” of the cause of said problem, tragedy or injustice, as well as the solution.

Step four: To appear fair and reasonable to the press and public, call a meeting with the folks the President has singled out as causes of said tragedy or enemies of said “common sense.” This will give the appearance of “listening to all sides.”

Step five: Surrogates like the Vice President, not the President, actually have the meeting where no ground is given and his surrogates act as de facto mafia, threatening his “enemy” in private to bend to his will. Surrogates then express in the meeting that there’s no intention of giving ground and stay committed to making their opposition’s life hell through the press if they don’t capitulate.

Step six: Exit the meeting and lie about what occurred. Call the meeting “productive,” then announce there’s still no flexibility on what’s been deemed the “reasonable” position in the debate. This also implies the enemy/opposition was the only one in the room who won’t compromise.

Step seven: The most critical step. Drum up public support through town halls, online petitions, pop culture radio, and TV interviews, and the use of props like little kids and police commissioners in uniform. Crisscross the country in campaign-style rallies. Obama’s dutiful media minions will whip up countdown clocks and wall-to-wall cable discussions to fan the flames of panic/alarm/concern in support of his position.

This is also the point at which Obama reminds people that if he had a son, he’d look like Trayvon Martin, and he’d be a gay illegal immigrant who wants marriage privileges while in the Boy Scouts, and is concerned about his sister’s right to free birth control, and is serving on the front lines of combat, and have a father who is concerned that playing football would lead to him developing brain trauma. See? Obama’s just like you and me … if he had a son. How can you not support him? He’s SO in touch with we common folk.

Step 8: Watch Republicans cave and bend to the President because of the public pressure so successfully heaped upon them that they inexplicably never saw it coming and couldn’t seem to counter-message or proactively counter-position.

Notice that none of these steps requires a single moment’s worth of time spent in the Oval Office or in some backroom in the Capitol building? None of these steps require meeting with Republican leaders. In fact, President Obama loathes that.

He’ll tell you every time, if you just listen to his press conferences concerning whatever issue of the day he’s decided to light on fire. In fact, it’s quite remarkable. Here’s a guy that’s supposedly won two elections based on his ability to unite us and “change Washington,” and the first thing he does is ask you—the folks who voted for him—to do his work for him.

YOU have to call your members of Congress. YOU have to protest. He won’t lead, nor can he or will he negotiate in good faith with the duly elected opposition. He expects his slavishly loyal, winged monkeys in the electorate to storm the gates.

President Obama thrives when the country is in a perpetual state of consternation. Only now are House Republicans beginning to wake and understand this. Speaker Boehner said last week he now believes the President wishes to “annihilate the GOP.”

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal said at the party’s annual winter meeting that Republicans “don’t need to change principles, but might need to change everything else we do.”

Very good, gentleman. Your first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is to understand the opposition you face. I’ve handled that here.

What’s your next step?

You can listen to Chris Stigall on Talk Radio 1210, WPHT, weekdays from 5:30 to 9 a.m., and follow him on Facebook and Twitter @ChrisStigall.