INTERVIEW: Judy and Dennis Shepard

The parents of the late Matthew Shepard talk about their trailblazing work.

Judy and Dennis Shepard, photo courtesy Target Cue PR.

Judy and Dennis Shepard, photo courtesy Target Cue PR.

“You know, people run around and say, ‘Gay rights’ this and ‘gay rights’ that. There are no gay rights. There are equal rights,” Dennis Shepard told me while I chatted with him and his wife, Judy, on the phone. They were in New York City, about to receive a Logo Trailblazer Award. This week, they’re on the way to Philly to receive yet another honor at the LGBT Civil Rights 50th Anniversary Celebration.

“These rights aren’t special for anyone,” he continued. “These are people who are born here, who pay taxes, and who work hard. The gay community is just as normal and boring as the straight community. They get up, go to work, pay the bills, and mow their lawns. What happens in the bedroom is nobody’s damn business.”

The Shepards would know: The couple has become almost synonymous with the “gay rights” movement after their out son, Matthew, was brutally murdered in 1998. Mrs. Shepard, a trailblazer of her own accord, speaks to countless numbers of students and organizations about not only what happened to her beloved son, but what culture can do to help the LGBT community.

“It was really a matter of feeling like we had the opportunity to show support for Matt no matter what,” she said. “Many parents were throwing away their children because of their sexual orientation. They still had their children, and they should support them. To do nothing would be criminal.”

Ironically, when I spoke with the Shepards, it was a day before the Supreme Court’s landmark marriage equality decision, but I asked Mrs. Shepard what changes she’s seen since her son’s untimely death. She says she sees it when she speaks at colleges.

“When I first started, I could see the fear in the kids’ eyes and the parents’ eyes. They felt like what happened to Matt could happen to them,” she said. “Now when I speak, I see entitlement: ‘Y’all are doing me wrong! I deserve equality across the board!'”

She also mentioned that pop culture nowadays is “overwhelmingly gay friendly,” sharing that the couple saw the Tony Award-winning musical Fun Home the night before, a groundbreaking show that features a young lesbian as its protagonist.

And where does America have some room to grow? Both of the Shepards agree that one of the biggest areas for opportunity lies in our education system, particularly with teachers.

“The public school system is really struggling,” Mrs. Shepard said. “There’s still bullying and self-doubt, and the teachers are afraid to come out and be who they are because of employment discrimination. It’s a horrible twist.”

“Exactly,” added Mr. Shepard. “[Out teachers] might infect [students] and give them these ideas, God forbid!”

But those “ideas” are exactly what we may need to move this country forward, according to the couple: They referenced Ted Kennedy and Gordon Smith, the two U.S. Senators who co-sponsored the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act.

“Here’s Senator Kennedy, who is a super-liberal Democrat from the East Coast who is Catholic, and Senator Smith, a super-conserative Republican from the West Coast who’s is a Mormon,” said Mr. Shepard. “They came together for what is best for the country, not what their beliefs are. Intention came first.”

“That hate crime bill was critical,” added Mrs. Shepard. “It helped the LGBT community come out from under the shadow that they spent half their time hiding in.”

You can catch the Shepards in Philadelphia at the LGBT 50th Anniversary Celebration on July 4th. For more information, click here.