A roundup of LGBT-centric Valentine’s Day events for those who want to …
TIE THE KNOT (EVENTUALLY): Marriage recognition takes center stage in The Equality Forum’s V-Day spectacular, Equality Ball. The party raises awareness and funds for Palladino v. Corbett, a federal lawsuit initiated by the Equality Forum that asks the state of Pennsylvania to recognize same-sex marriages that were performed in marriage equality states. There will be an open bar and food from local restaurants and catering companies (Zahav, Amis, Fork) and a live band. D. Bruce Hanes and Rev. Frank Schaefer will be honored for their efforts to bring LGBT equality to the state of Pennsylvania.. 7 p.m.–10 p.m., $100, Liberty View Ballroom at the Independence Visitor Center, Sixth and Market streets.
MARRY TRADITION WITH GLITTER: Never underestimate the romantic simplicity of dinner and a show. Enjoy a candle-lit, three-course meal at Sweet / Tart: A Candy-Coated Cabaret. Liberty City Kings Drag and Burlesque, guest host The Goddess Isis, and resident DJ NiiLo will all be performing. 7 p.m.–2 a.m., Tabu Lounge and Sports Bar, 200 S. 12th St.
TELL A STORY ABOUT THIS ONE TIME: Out comedic storyteller R. Eric Thomas returns to host First Person Arts annual Valentine’s Day event, The Ex-Files. As you may have guessed from the name, 10 raconteurs will be selected from the audience to tell pithy stories about losing love. Tales in the past have ranged from funny to sad to downright puzzling. 8 p.m.-10:30 p.m., $14, Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St.
BUST A GUT: Gayborhood drag queen — and host of her own gossip show, Celebrity Shitshow — Brittany Lynn is among the funny folks lined up to perform at The Sh!tshow: Valentine’s Variety, an evening of first-rate local comedy hosted by The Necrosexual. 8 p,m., $6.66 (pre-order)-$10 (at the door), 8 p.m., Connie’s Ric-Rac, 1132 S. Ninth St.
JOIN THE V-DAY RESISTANCE: You may hate Valentine’s Day, but that’s no reason to spend it alone. This year’s go-to anti-V-Day event is the COLLAGE Festival‘s hilariously named “Cupid is Dead and So is Lou Reed.” Settle in for an evening of Lou Reed tribute performances by everyone from DJ Carl Michaels and performance artist Lance Pawling to singer-songwriter George Alley. 9 p.m., $10, 3rd and Girard, 1176 N. Third St.
PLAY A DATING GAME: Most Valentine’s Day events are designed for couples, or for singles, but Icandy‘s third-annual Stoplight Party invites everyone to join in the fun. The theme is simple, and easy to dress for: wear red if you’re taken, yellow if you’re open, and green if you’re single (and ready to mingle). The cost of admission is reduced if you dress in one of the colors. 10 p.m.–2 a.m., call for price, Icandy, 254 S. 12th St.
JUST LAUGH AND DRINK: What happens when you mix sex education with comedy? No, not high school sex-ed class. DTF: Darryl and Timaree Fun Hour! This is a sex education-comedy game show that challenges attendees to bring others along — whether it’s your partner, a friend, or even someone you might be crushing on. Oh, you should bring beer, too; it’s BYOB. 10:30 p.m.–11:30 p.m., $10 – $12, Philly Improv Theater, 2030 Sansom St.
GET FREAKY: For some people a nice dinner and a card doesn’t quite cut it. Enter: Freakshow Gameshow. On the event page, the party creators, Dead Flowers, share photos of some of the performance artists, including one man, Titano Oddfellow, who appears to be keeping a woman suspended above the floor with a strap attached to his … tongue? Needles Jones will be there, too, but beyond the unforgettable guests, the event features, as its name would suggest, a game show. Audience members will be pitted against “freaks,” sideshow performers, and more, in trivia, talent competitions, and games of luck. The ultimate goal of the night is to find out, “Who is the weirdest person in Philadelphia.” 7 p.m.-midnight, $12, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N Front St.
LEARN HOW THE ANIMALS DO IT: The Philadelphia Zoo will be hosting Wild at Heart. The event is family friendly, and offers a variety of love-themed events, and a tour that explores the romantic tricks and tactics used by various animals. Feb. 15– 16, 10 a.m.–4 p.m., free with Zoo admission, The Philadelphia Zoo, 3400 W. Girard Ave.