You know the spiel by now: Thanksgiving Eve is the unofficial drinking holiday nine-to-fivers live for —the coveted breathing room between work and the Thanksgiving Day stresses of family matters, whether in the gay world or otherwise.
Here, we lasso up all of the LGBT-related shenanigans happening tonight in our darling City of Brotherly Love — including one that just might tickle you “pink.”
If you're all-in for Thanksgiving Eve (and willing to pick at your turkey tomorrow, in lieu of scarfing it down), the yearly Nightlife Gay Pink Pub Crawl will be making successive stops at Stir (9 p.m.), Tabu (10:30 p.m.), Woody's (11:30 p.m.) and Voyeur for the all-encompassing gay experience of the season. Tickets, which get you three drinks, along with admission to the Woody's dance floor and Voyeur's after-hours party, are only available at the first two stops. Wear pink (no, really wear pink -- don't show up wearing a pink lapel) and you'll snag a $5 discount.
9 p.m. to 5 a.m. (or whenever you pass out), $30, Stir, 1705 Chancellor St.
CHECK 'EM OUT:
- Tavern on Camac: Our lovely (and oh-so-busty) 2013 Best Bartender Ashley Coleman will be mixing up your drink of choice upstairs with DJ Jimmy DePre serving up all of the Top 40 hits you didn't know you loved until three (or four) drinks in. All Stoli cocktails are $5 from 10 p.m. 'til midnight. Cover price? Nothing. 243 S. Camac St.
- Howl at the Moon: It's a dueling piano bar. What could be gayer? For the day-drinkers of the world (who perhaps need some extra time to recover for Turkey Day), it's the ideal stop: From 4-10 p.m., guzzle $3 Shock Tops, $4 Skyy cocktails and $5 American Honey whiskey shots. 258 S. 15th St.
- Voyeur: The after-hours club's Thanksgiving Eve event is the no-brainer choice for the ladies: It's hosted by former employees of Sisters (R.I.P.) who, alongside others, have launched Groove Philly -- an events-org admirably devoted to making sure lesbians don't disappear altogether from the Gayborhood. Moreover, this shindig's got not one, but two (count 'em, two!) dance floors, a go-go-gal duo and a trifecta of DJs. 1221 St. James St.
- The Barbary: It's a solid (if predictable) option for early-to-mid-20s students (etc.) in the region. Why? It's cheap. Cover is a measly five bucks, and mixed drinks are $3 between 10-11 p.m. (Or you could opt for $1 PBRs, if you dare.) You've also got Millennial-fave DJ Deejay spinning '90s Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync and Boyz II Men jams from 10 p.m. until closing time -- which, by default, settles this event snugly into the "Win" category. 951 Frankford Ave.
- Tabu: Ratchet Wednesday sounds a lot less, well, "ratchet" this week -- in a good way. Zsa Zsa St. James of Drag Wars Three will be struttin' her stuff on stage, and Philly's favorite drag-queen runaway Omyra Lynn is back in town for a special performance. Hosted by: the fabulous (extra emphasis on fabulous) Brittany Lynn. All for $6. 200 S. 12th St.
GIVE 'EM A POP-IN:
- ICandy: The Red Ball probably isn't the place you want to be all night, but it is a great way to dance it out -- for free, if you wear red -- when the night winds to a close. It might also lighten the burden on your wallet as your drink-purchasing judgment inevitably becomes impaired: They've got $3 bottles of Yuengling and Yuengling Light and $6 Absolut drinks. 254 S. 12th St.
- The Dolphin Tavern: Right on Broad Street in South Philly, The Dolphin Tavern's (astoundingly) become a bit of a hot spot for LGBT folks. Stop by around 11 p.m. (when things tend to heat up) and indulge in some '80s-music nostalgia with DJ Robert Drake. Cover is $5. 1539 S. Broad St.
- Stir Lounge: Because the Pink Pub Crawl starts here, you may want to momentarily join in on the fun. If you feel like sticking around longer, DJ Dan Wallace will be at the helm of the speaker system 'til 2 a.m. 1705 Chancellor St.
MAYBE NEXT YEAR:
- East Passyunk Avenue: Would you have a bad time if you popped by the Avenue's local bars? No. Would you be missing out if you skipped the aforementioned events? Likely. Noir does have DJ George Piccoli spinning music from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m., and South Philly Bar & Grille has "freestyle" DJs and $3 drinks all night, but otherwise it looks same-old, same-old on the Ave. Wait 'til December: That's when the holidays on Passyunk actually gets fun. Ninth and Wharton streets
- XFinity Live! Fest 2013: Mind you, I'm marking this as "Meh" largely because of the likely disaster an imbibed 3,500-person occupancy will bring. It's also a bit pricey for the full-on experience, with tickets ranging from $10 to $60. But, with free parking after 9 p.m. (it starts at 8 p.m.) and some nifty contests (spanning six venues), there is an undeniable allure if you're desperate to be around sports-lovers in a space that isn't Tabu. 1100 Pattison Ave.