SMIZE QUEEN: Send In the Killer Clowns

Every week, Alexander Kacala recaps the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model.

It was a double elimination week on the last episode of Top Model, where we were served some fabulous farm fashion, clown craziness and ADHD antics. 

DRAMA: Cory got back to the house absolutely elated over last week’s win. He invited nearly eliminated Jiana into the Tyra Suite to revel in some Guess-closet shopping. Phil lost control due to his ADHD diagnosis and tried helping himself to some of the treasures meant for Cory. Meanwhile, the girls pile into the bathtub and bond while splashing in mounds of suds. It was like a scene straight out of Gia.

MINI CHALLENGE: On a farm, the girls and boys had to take charge of their own photo shoot repping a women’s line by designer Jackie Fraser-Swan called “Emerson.” Kelly Cutrone presided over the preparations, serving up her typical sassy attitude. She understandably let Phil have it for tearing off the sleeves of a shirt to make it make it more couture. He was all over the place during the challenge, once again citing his ADHD as the culprit. This landed his team — led by Cory — in the bottom. Instead, it was Kanani’s team who took the win. The petite Audrey Hepburn look-alike let bygones be bygones and picked former enemy Jourdan along with her best friend Renee. The gals worked great together against the boys and won the challenges with straight nines.

MORE DRAMA: Spitfire Chris H. blew up yet again at his housemates, but this time his target was set on his only friend in the house, Nina. The resulting heated exchange ended in tears and broken hearts. Later, Jourdan and Jeremy also got into it when Jeremy tried getting flirty.

EVEN MORE DRAMA: The boys knew Renee and Kanani had a fear of clowns, so they pranked them by throwing clown dolls into their beds late at night. No one knew how much it would affect poor Kanani, who broke down in tears and screams. Girl has some irrational fears of killer clowns, but it wasn’t cool that the boys did that. Tsk, tsk, boys.

MAIN CHALLENGE: Tyra loves nail art, and what Tyra loves the models do. So the 11 contestants had to design their nails and pose solo for the first time. Tension was high on set with the dramas happening with Chris and Nina, Jeremy and Jourdan and Kanani and Bozo.

TOPS: Jourdan scored another challenge win with her gorgeous high-fashion nail-art photo. Marvin and Cory took a close second.

BOTTOMS: In the bottom was Phil, Jeremy, and Kanani. Phil wasn’t able to rely on his Jesus-like good looks to get a good photo. Jeremy (pictured, right) wasn’t able to rely on his beautifully buff body. And poor Kanani (pictured, left). This single mother — having just been stunned with a clown in her bed — just wasn’t able to look alive. In the end, it was Jeremy and Kanani who were sent home.

CORY WATCH: Our boy nailed (ha!) it for a second week in a row. As the reigning Oprah in the house, he is staying away from the drama, continuing to focus on getting further in the game. He really worked his androgyny this week, too, giving solid femme performances in both competitions. He is proving to the other models what fashion really is: uniqueness, creativity, nerve and talent. Now where have we heard that before?

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