During last week’s Drag Race rage, I bounced between Woody’s, where Navaya Shay poisoned me with Aunt Jemima shots, and Tavern on Camac, where boys in mesh were running wild. So this week, I decided to cuddle up on local drag diva Maddy Milan’s couch with some fishy sushi and even-fishier queens.
Mini-Challenge Rucap: The mini challenge was a Soul Train Dance Off. Seriously, THE WORST! It was kind of fun to watch the queens act all silly. But seriously, producers? Afro wigs and horrid John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever impressions is the best you can come up with?! I have been impressed with the creativity so far this season but this didn’t do it for me. In the end, Jinkx won with her ball-busting split and Coco because … (Sound cue: Crickets).
Challenge Rucap: The main challenge was that two teams, led by Coco and Jinkx, were to prove their elegance and dancing skills by starring in No RuPaulogies, a ballet based on the life of RuPaul. Coco’s first choice was Alyssa, which stunned the entire workroom, including Ru. Jade Jolie was picked last, much to her disappointment — a disappointment, I should say, that lasts the entire episode.
Team JINKX: Alaska as Ru Paul’s mother, Jade as Young RuPaul, Lineysha as Diana Ross, Ivy as Lady Bunny, Jinkx as 21-year-old RuPaul
From the get-go we could tell Alaska may have some difficulty. She didn’t hide the fact she didn’t dance, and she was hilarious on and off camera about it. We couldn’t tell if Lineysha actually knew who Diana Ross was. But in the end, this team really pulled it off. Ivy Winters did an amazing Lady Bunny, Alaska was a riot and Jinkx Monsoon nailed it. I think I’ve been selling this queen short. She may have some real longevity in the competition because her performances during challenges have been extremely strong. Girl still needs to work on her runway, but it just may be monsoon season, after all.
TEAM COCO: Alyssa as Bad RuPaul, Coco as Good RuPaul, Detox as ’90s RuPaul, Honey as Diana Ross, Roxxxy as Modern RuPaul, Vivienne as America’s Next Drag Superstar
Coco played her cards right by picking Alyssa first. Alyssa, a dance studio owner, not only rocked her Black Swan-inspired Bad RuPaul performance (making her the winner of the challenge), but also helped teach the other girls some quick moves. Regardless of her efforts, this team lacked energy. Honey did a lackluster Diana Ross and Vivienne was more Cincinnitti’s Next Mall Queen than America’s Next Drag Superstar. The judge’s comments that she looked like a local girl being crowned at the mall got Maddy and myself thinking how much fun that would be. A drag pageant at The Gallery? Getting crowned between the Taco Bell and Pay Half? A dream come true for queens like us.
Runway Yes’s: Detox looked amazing in that blonde bouffant and intense teal lip. Ivy Winters channeled Victor Victoria with a custom-made gown that wow’d Michelle Visage. Coco looked great. I loved Alaska’s trashy animal-print concoction, even though it failed to impress the other queens.
Runway oh-honey-no’s: Jinkx got some shade for her head piece. And I wasn’t feeling eye patch. Honey wore yet another warm-colored caftan. That’s three runways, people. One look; three runways. Vivienne brought nothing grand to the runway, putting her, along with Honey in the bottom two.
Lip-Sync-Off: THE WORST! Boring. Britney Spears performance of “Gimme More” at the 2007 VMA’s was more polished than that. I could instantly tell from the blank looks and rolled eyes that came from the judge’s panel that Ru was gonna send Vivienne and Honey both packing. And for the first time in Drag Race her-story, two queens sashay’d away. While it was an exciting yet predictable ending, it couldn’t save this episode from boring me. Things did get spicier during UnTucked when Alyssa admitted nominating Jade Jolie for elimination. But then this opened the door for the gang in the Interior Illusions Lounge to go against Jade Jolie. While she is not my favorite, I’m not a fan of the bullying that takes place when a group of queens throws T on a single target. My friend Evan put it best when he said, “Just because the Born Brave bus won’t be rolling around the U.S. doesn’t mean that the message of kindness and anti-bullying will be mute. This bullying must stop.”
Best Sound Byte: Alaska’s “Chaz came out of Cher’s vagina!”
My pick for Top 3 (which I reserve the right to change from week to week): Well good thing I took out Vivienne!!! Still Detox all the way, with Lyneshia and Roxxxy pulling up the back. But I’m starting to see Jinkx and maybe Ivy making a place for themselves in the top.