We Made a List of Philly’s Best Delivery Foods So You Never Have to Leave Home
Let's all just stay in tonight, okay?
We live in an age of science fictional conveniences. We find dates with a swipe, summon cars with our phones, and never have to argue again over who starred in that one movie that we can’t remember the name of but had that other girl with all the hair.
In the food world, we already have robots to make our sushi and cocktails made with liquid nitrogen and lasers. But the best thing about this technological moment? The profusion of services which will bring food right to our doors on nights when the weather sucks so bad that paying a delivery fee (and a generous tip, of course) seems like a fair trade-off when weighed against having various fun bits of our anatomy freeze clean off.
So for nights like tonight, we’re assembling this list of the best things to order in when you’re sheltering from the storm.
First things first (and I can not stress this enough), let’s all remember that our convenience on nights like this come at the expense of those delivery drivers (and riders and walkers) willing to brave the elements just to bring us some egg rolls and dumplings. So, seriously, be kind. Be generous (like 50% tip generous — minimum). And be understanding. Because it could be you out there fighting the dire wolves now that winter has finally arrived.
Okay, with that out of the way, we’re going to hit some of the highlights of the biggest services out there, starting with…
Order: Sausage rolls, beef-and-onion pies and a banoffee tart
Why: Because Stargazy’s sausage rolls might be the single most comforting food served in Philadelphia, the traditional British meat pies (with mash and parsley liquor) are warm and starchy and rib-sticking, and the banoffee tart will give you the blood sugar spike you need to survive the cold between home heating cycles.
Order: Dan dan noodles, mapo tofu and dry pepper pork
Why: Heat. There is only one thing that will defeat this kind of cold, and that’s Szechuan food, and who does better Szechuan food than Han Dynasty? Also, if they have the fried chicken wings on the delivery menu, get those, too. No one ever talks about the chicken wings at Han Dynasty, but they’re really good.
Order: Hot honey wings
Why: Because you can (on Wednesdays and Sundays) order, literally, one pound of chicken wings served with a side of honey hot sauce, house-made buttermilk ranch, and house-made sweet pickles. So definitely get those, but then maybe some extra fried chicken, too, because hot fried chicken is good in the cold and even cold fried chicken is okay on the morning after.
Order: Smoked matzoh ball soup
Why: Because if this was your mother speaking, she’d tell you that what you need right now is a big, warm bowl of chicken and matzoh soup.
Order: Paneer makhani, Calcutta pork ribs, chana masala and Goan shrimp curry
Why: Because it is cold and you need some spice and some heat to make sure your heart doesn’t freeze. Just trust me on this. Plus, Indian food survives takeout really well, and makes for excellent leftovers the next day.
Order: The Somerset and the Valley Thunder
Why: The Valley Thunder, with its brisket and mac-and-cheese inside the sandwich is for tonight when you need the bulk and calories to get through binging Stranger Things. The Somerset is for breakfast tomorrow when the aged gruyere, cornichons and cured ham will feel a little bit lighter, and re-heat well in the oven.
Order: Any hoagie, really. But the Maria or the prosciutto are awesome. And a meatball parm sandwich, too.
Why: Because in this frozen, apocalyptic future, hoagies will be the only real currency. And the meatball parm is just for eating. Because meatball parm sandwiches are delicious.
Order: Soup dumplings, scallion pancakes and more scallion pancakes
Why: Because Tom’s has the best scallion pancakes ever. And soup dumplings are pretty much designed for freezing cold nights. They might not travel terribly well, but 15 seconds in the microwave will perk them back up.
Order: Merguez sandwich
Why: Because in Tunisia, it’s probably hot and sunny right now. Or at least you can imagine it is. Plus, it comes with french fries inside the sandwich, and any sandwich that comes with french fries as a primary ingredient is alright by us.
Order: Huevos rancheros and a chorizo torta
Why: Because getting breakfast delivered at any time during the day seems so indulgent and awesome, and Mole Poblano’s tortas are always a solid choice.
Order: Kati rolls. All the kati rolls
Why: Because a kati roll has everything you want in a cold-day-on-the-couch kind of meal. It’s cheap, it’s filling, it’s spicy and you eat it with your hands. The chana masala is good for what ails you, and the aloo and aloo paneer are both excellent choices for those who want to fill themselves with warm potatoes and cheese.
Order: 1 dozen assorted doughnuts (plain glazed, Fruity Pebbles and caramel apple, then whatever else you’re craving)
Why: Because once they arrive, you have a dozen doughnuts. Do I really need to explain this to you?
Order: Mochi nori fried chicken plate, Spam musubi and andagi
Why: Because if you’re going to be freezing anyway, you might as well try to convince your stomach it’s in Hawaii. Plus, Poi Dog is just awesome, andagi are little donuts (and you always need more donuts), and the mochi nori fried chicken is one of the best things being served in Philadelphia right now.
Order: The burger, deviled eggs and some Welsh rarebit
Why: Red meat, finger foods and melted cheese — if you’re looking for a living room picnic, The Dandelion is perfect. The food is hearty and comforting, not too fancy, and the delivery menu is broad enough that everyone will be able to find something they like.