Free VIP Tickets To Brauhaus Schmitz Octoberfest For the Very (VERY) Clever

brauhaus_staff

We have done this kind of thing before–given out free tickets to things for those who prove their smartness. But never before have the stakes been so high.

See, first off, this is Octoberfest at Brauhaus Schmitz–a thing that they do better than just about anyone. Second, what we’re offering are a pair of VIP tickets, which will get you…

-VIP Pass in and Out of the VIP Brauer Bund (PRICELESS!)
-Full wait staff and bar staff, with 5 PRIVATE bathrooms
-Complimentary Appetizers Courtesy of Chef Jeremy Nolen
-6 Tickets Good for Beer from our VIP list or Food Stands
-Commemorative Beer Stein, T-Shirt, and other Brauhaus Swag

And third, if you don’t already have VIP tickets to the Brauhaus Octoberfest festivities, this is your ONLY CHANCE to get them. Because those tickets are sold out. These two tickets are the last ones there are, which makes them, essentially, priceless.

So we’re not going to mess with you here. We’re not going to make you jump through hoops. All we’re asking is that you write us a sonnet14 lines, end-rhymed in the Shakespearean style, bonus points for iambic pentameter, but that’s not absolutely required. Make it about Octoberfest, about food, about drinking, about dirndls–something in that realm. And make it good because there’s only one pair of tickets available, and they’re going to the winner–who will be picked by us on Thursday afternoon.

The contest begins now. It ends at 2pm on Thursday the 19th. And the party is on Saturday, September 21st.

So what are you waiting for? Get sonneting, people.

Brauhaus Schmitz [Official]

  • Frank the Tank

    “We’re not going to make you jump through hoops,” says the man holding a giant hoop.

  • Justin S.

    And in the hall, among the clinging glass,
    Our beer, it spills along a wooden bar.
    To each and ev’ry girl, I say, dear frau,
    “We eat and drink this month. We come this far!”
    The best of wurst, each taste, it brings me joy,
    To wash these morsels with an amber bock.
    A feast to change and thrill a mannish boy,
    Also, perhaps to taint his moral stock!
    The room, it now is spinning, and the horns…
    A patron lost amidst the noise and dance.
    I’ll take my leave, I bear these blissful scorns.
    And you, mein freund, is this the end, per chance?
    Waiting for night, and ‘sir’ to take my stein
    And here, at dusk, my German soul will shine!

  • singany

    Let us gather around at Brauhaus Schmitz,
    A day of wurst and bier: Oktoberfest.
    When cheer and beer flow freely through our lips,
    “I’ll have another”, an oft heard request.

    Time to celebrate harvest and plenty,
    Our party hails from the land of schnitzel.
    Friends, fun and food, a little bit bawdy,
    This quintessential German festival.

    With lasses in dirndls, music so clear,
    We dine on spatzle, sauerkraut and wurst.
    Pour me a dopplebock, not that green beer,
    Of drinking holidays, this one comes first!

    To my friends, new and old, I make this toast!
    Eat drink and be merry, clink drinks, now Prost!

  • Zachary Cyphers

    My love of beer fermented in the din
    Of smokey booths before I was of age
    At Ludwig’s Garten when I could sneak in
    With Uncle Paul who was my beer-wise sage.
    But once we found those doors were machen zu,
    Where would we slake our thirst for malted grain?
    No pils, no bock, no hef – what would we do?
    Oh would we see our fav’rite beers again?
    Just when the last drops of our hope ran dry,
    Unto our thirst, alas, the antidote!
    The Hagers’ Brauhaus proudly raised its sign –
    A haus to house the great Reinheitsgebot.
    Oh Brauhaus Schmitz! We raise this Prost to you!
    And sing your praise in comments on Foobooz!

  • Laura

    Meet me on Saturday at Brauhaus Schmitz.
    Ladies in dirndls and biers free-flowing.
    Oktoberfest! A fête not to be missed.
    A great time will sure to be unfolding.

    Krombacher, Birburger, Becks, Warsteiner?
    With so many options, you won’t find fault.
    I think I’ll enjoy a Radeberger.
    A wonderful blend of water, hops, malt.

    A “prost” among friends will surely be shared.
    Along with dancing to an oom-pah band.
    If a yodeler is there, please don’t stare.
    You’ll be transported to the fatherland.

    Gentlemen, dust off your lederhosen
    For Philly’s best fun that is not verboten.

  • Lauren

    Between the streets eight and seven marked
    what rumblings are there today born?
    No cars, solely humans are there parked
    on this crisp September morn

    Drink up to Ludwig! the crowd once shouted
    A marriage celebration for all on the lawn
    Beer less than thirteen and a half is outed
    Causing dancing in the Hippodrom until dawn

    German traditions brings us to the street named South
    Some adorned in their Laderhosen and Dirndl dress

    Shoving pretzels and links of wurst in their mouth
    Yodel your way through the crowds to really impress

    “Prost” we will shout, one and all
    Pass me a litre and we’ll all welcome the Fall

  • Michael Cassel

    I wish that Brauhaus Schmitz would let me in
    To quench the thirst I have for liquid gold
    My lust for beer is bordering on sin
    So with the devil, let the night unfold

    Octoberfest has always been my dream
    Thirty years of living all for this
    My taste for suds has always been supreme
    A night of German fare and drunken bliss

    An epic evening it is sure to be
    The kind of night where legends they are born
    Brauhaus Schmitz is holding tight the key
    If I don’t win my heart will sure be torn

    So now my final plea, one last appeal
    Select a winner and my name reveal!

  • CT

    Come with me! Our festival approaches.
    Oktoberfest sets our hearts to racing.
    Drink thy fill of doppelbocks and kolches.
    Eat a sausage in its nat’ral casing.

    Forsooth, I tremble when I feel thou near,
    thy golden body and thy frothy head
    Thy countenance is like the finest beer,
    and like the same, thou put me straight to bed.

    Our time ends with the falling of the leaves,
    as we start drinking beers that smell of fire.
    And as I lie alone beneath the eaves,
    I wait for the return of my desire.

    In thy dirndl, I loved thee from the first,
    both for thy best, and for thy very wurst.

  • Josh McGrath

    Alas, the dreaded moment draws too near
    The sky darkens, the walls begin to close
    It has come to pass, all that I did fear
    My eyes grew wide and my beating heart froze

    My glass is empty, the final drop drank
    As I lope to the line my tongue does bake
    I despise those before me, to be frank
    I watch the taps pour and my heart does ache

    The long queue advances but inch by inch
    It’s moving too slow, i think to myself
    I’ll never arrive! i’m in a real pinch
    I am oh so drained when I reach the shelf

    but ho! as she takes my stein and refills
    I’m reminded once again of joy and thrill

  • Jennifer

    Weizenbock and dunkles,
    Reiberdatschi and wurstl.
    Men in their lederhosen
    and girls in their dirndl.

    War and cholera
    won’t cancel the festivities this year.
    The time for Octoberfest 2013
    soon draws near.

    Fill the Maßkrüge
    and play Fingakackln.
    A Bavarian tradition
    Is about to happen.
    When the kegs are brought out
    the fun begins with the tapping.

  • Gus Slater

    In the month of October
    the children play as the air grows colder
    The fields are harvested
    of their wheat, hops, and barley
    And the Germans don’t stay very sober

    To South Street and Brauhaus Schmitz they cry!
    in their best Bavarian clothing they try
    the lure of the dirndl calls and you have to answer
    The odor of brats, cabbage, and wursts make them fly!

    Hoist a liter in fun
    Whether you are Deutsch a little or none
    you know you have to come
    via bus, car, and bike
    For another year to wait and you don’t want to be done

  • Dave

    Ah Oktoberfest! The crisp fall air! Pretzels and wursts!
    Sexy Deutsche Dame like Angela Merkel!
    Drive me to plunge deeply into her culture headfirst
    And fill my mouth with her wonderful spannferkel.

    Bier madchen in dirndls taking a sip
    Of the creamy head on the steins they are draggin’
    Rouses my passions and inspires me to grip
    The handle of my own drippy flagon.

    The Biertent is swollen, full of song, revelry and beer
    Shouts of Ein Prosit! and Prost!
    Shame Oktoberfest comes but once a year.
    A thing that can make it better than most:

    A Festival Freundin, Chicken Dancing with her on the deck
    And later leaving a tasty Lebkuckenherzen on her neck.

  • ZmanPhilly

    Cool Autumn winds sweep the summer ales away
    forward looking folk thirst the coming season
    Do thoughts of Goblins and Ghosts rule the day?
    Or was a Bavarian prince the root of the reason?

    Our task is clear; empty every cold cave
    We savor the Marzens final last drops
    the seasons mem’ries best we keep and save
    but ready are futures malts and its hops

    the Dunkels of winter and the Weisses of spring
    promises for all good times and good cheer
    friends gather ’round and glasses will swing
    the time well spent and so is the beer

    As for now tastes of the harvest ring truest
    so restraint is required my pure Reinheitsgebotist

  • Jay C

    Autumn beckons the adornment of Lederhosen

    Oh fie good sir, mine eyes rest upon yon amber tones of old,

    Questions abound with “Haben sie Deutch gesprochen?”

    O’er pure white froth cascading amidst liquid gold

    Mein liebste ~ a maven with nary a hurdle in his wake

    Revelers tire, but not he, for a vow he doth bemoan’d

    He partakes of bounteous fare, and he, an epicurean didst make.

    A tableau of meats for 10 he wouldst devour alone, all carbon’d

    Though his wit misses nary a beat

    Bellyful of substance anon; treat him kindly

    His appetite amain ’til the quarter master summons, ” ‘Tis replete!”

    Be weary Oktoberfest ’tis the one who’d trench’d unwit’d thusly

    Methinks he is no ordinary man,

    But a one reinforced with salt, nay quibble not; a plan.

  • Natalie

    A query into the grandest of tests
    Leads to a story set in Germany.
    A wife-he needed, so then-a quest
    Prince Ludwig (picky) would not take just any.

    He found Princess Terese to be his mate.
    In the meadows with her name, they would be wed.
    The Münchner all arrived to celebrate,
    There was no other place they’d be instead.

    Lowenbrau and five others poured the beers.
    These brauhaus stayed true to Reinheitsgebot.
    With pure beer in their steins as the end nears,
    They cheered proust and they watched the horse race go.

    Oktoberfest: where drinks are downed with style
    And hot wursts devoured by the pile.

  • Lauren

    The day when Philadelphia is transformed into Bavaria

    I search for my lederhosen, dirndl, and find an ale to chug

    Today, my beer-obsessed boyfriend is in a state of hysteria

    Oktoberfest means he can finally drink from his Bierkrug

    The amount of beer that gets consumed is certainly a shock!

    A man and his friends waxing on about German beers

    A Hefeweizen, a Kolsch, a Gose, or maybe even a Mailbock

    I can picture the clanging of glasses whilst saying “cheers!”

    Then I see visions of my kitchen floor littered with pretzels

    Who am I to stop grown men from having fun?

    And witness them running around South Street with their beer
    specials

    If I won a few VIP tickets, he’d party until he saw the sun

    Only to come home later looking like a sorry display

    And end it, passed out on the couch after a VIP drinking day

  • abrahamsandwich

    “My Two True Loves”

    Shall I compare you to an October’s beer?
    You are as lovely and light bodied
    As a Kolsch, and your laugh is sincere
    As a Hefeweizen, which is unfiltered or sullied.

    Where your eyes are my Rauchbier, smoky and dark
    Your soul is a Doppelbock, fierce, strong, and loud.
    The first time I saw you, the difference was stark
    For where some girls drink wine, your stein was raised proud

    So each Fest for October, I remember the reasons
    And raise glass to those things I can’t help but think of
    Like the beer that is brewed for my favorite of seasons
    You warm me and calm me and fill me with love

    So again, this October, like each fall, each year
    I drink to my fraulein, and to October’s beer!

  • Chico Ruiz

    Eins, Zwei, Drei, Vier
    Oktoberfest, let’s drink some beer!
    Kick your leg
    Tap a keg
    Oktoberfest is starting
    Take a seat
    Tis a treat
    In your Lederhosen
    Have some beer
    Spread some cheer
    Sing the song that’s chosen
    Raise your glass
    Make it last
    Soon it will be departing

  • jimblackwood

    As the crisp air and fading light of fall arrive
    We look forward to celebrating summer’s bounty.
    We will celebrate the harvest of grain, fruit on which we
    thrive
    Hosting a party for the entire county

    Our feast will be rich and full of joy
    People young and old, rich and poor will attend
    No one left out, no girl, no boy
    A feast for all:
    everyone welcome to attend

    The beer will be rich, malty with froth
    The steins will be tall, served with a large smile
    The servers, young ladies, dressed in dazzling cloth
    The food, magnificent meats and breads, served with great
    style
    Come one Come all! share our good feast!
    Enjoy, pretzels, sausages, sauerkraut, and great German beer
    from the East!

  • Nate T

    October has come, so it’s time for beer
    nothing is better then a big ‘ole fest
    get down to Schmidts, you have nothing to fear
    this german party is simply the best
    to brighten your day, and delightful food
    nothing is better then a few large Brats
    sausage and beer steins will cure a bad mood
    cheers to this german day, say no to shots
    come one come all and enjoy a fall day
    hang with germans,celebrate the season
    pick your beer style, get ready to play
    hanging with ye friends is a great reason
    now get on the El and lets get silly
    and enjoy octoberfest in philly.

  • lelielis

    I’m gonna jump over your hoop here, write you a limerick instead. This one’s for you, Jason.

    There once was a sad Wiener Schnitzel,
    Undercooked, as luck would have it-zel,
    He tried and he tried,
    To be fully deep-fried,
    But alas his crunch wasn’t legit-zel.

  • Susan LaVoy

    Franklin! Thou said God gave us beer to show us His love

    And proof that He wants Man to live hap-pi-ly.

    Then Oktoberfest too must come from above:

    Dirndl’d maids serve liter mugs, each hand holdeth three!

    Leather-breeched men chant auld songs of cheer,

    Arms linked thro’ friends’, atop tables they stomp.

    And all for the desire — the need! — for more beer!

    A Tent! A Dance Hall! A Feast and a Romp!

    In Munchen we’d love to take part and carouse

    But short of coin and of time, our second is this:

    To dress in our costumes and depart from our house

    And head to the next-best place: Brauhaus Schmitz!

    For thy sweet maids and thy gents with ales are inviting

    And treat us, thy patrons, like Queen and like King!

  • Doug

    Wow, some of these are great! You guys are going to have a tough time choosing!

  • FestivusForTheRestuvus

    I’ve been cellar’d and lager’d and gen’rly kept cool
    to get ready and heady has been my great task
    I’ve many wieze friends but I ne’r been to school
    its high time and my time to take leave of this cask

    I will be loved and held tightly if the rumors are true
    They will sing of me and bring of me onto their lips
    I am to good health and here for spirits that wish to renew
    Some enjoy great gulps and some will savor their sips

    I burst from the tap strong and am poured to a stein
    Mighty sounds ring forth as I’m swung to and fro
    Toasts of Prost and sweet notes; happiness in mine
    I am beer, I bring cheer, all should know what I know

    It burned brightly and briefly but my time was the best
    now its time for my brother to replace me at this Octoberfest

  • Emil Frolov

    The Temple of Brauhaus Schmitz, in iambic pentameter

    Bring unto me October in September
    That spring may bloom when wintry frosts still reign
    And bring us ales to help mankind remember
    That gemstones take a long back seat to grain,
    To grain that fuels uproarious behavior,
    And German song, and lederhosen dance.
    In this world one (and that’s the holy savior)
    (and only if you ask Him in advance)
    Can help a sinner expiate his sin
    Of grinding his Oktober to a stop
    By neglecting, when amidst the ringing din
    To sacrifice to sacred Malt and Hop.
    So long’s my hand around my stein still fits,
    You’ll find me worshipping at Brauhaus Schmitz.

  • Emil Frolov

    At the Temple of Brauhaus Schmitz, in iambic pentameter

    Bring unto me October in September
    That spring may bloom when wintry frosts still reign
    And bring us ales to help mankind remember
    That gemstones take a long back seat to grain,
    To grain that fuels uproarious behavior,
    And German song, and lederhosen dance.
    In this world one (and that’s the holy savior)
    (and only if you ask Him in advance)
    Can help a sinner expiate his sin
    Of grinding his Oktober to a stop
    By neglecting, when amidst the ringing din
    To sacrifice to sacred Malt and Hop.
    So long’s my hand around my stein still fits,
    You’ll find me worshipping at Brauhaus Schmitz.

  • jhstockman

    Lamentation on Fermentation

    The pride of the skillful brewmaster’s craft

    Is brought to fruition though the bounty of nature

    The sun and soil together do amber grain produce

    Flowers of hops provide their perfume

    Purest of water, commence the mash-in

    Kettles of copper are fired to life

    Commencing conversion of staples to art

    A rolling boil the ingredients shake

    Flavors extracted, the product is wort

    Then cool and settle the recipe set

    Just one more component to finish the plan

    Complete this magical transformation

    Though you are only a single-cell beast

    We do owe to you kingly debt, yeast

  • Caroline Mills

    Oh how we’d like to drink at Brauhaus Schmitz
    And spend our night among the best of beer
    The thought of it just sends us into fits
    To have two English majors there is clear

    So while we sit, morose and unemployed
    Prospects of fame and fortune looking grim
    We’re overqualified and overjoyed
    To write a Shakespear’ean sonnet for the win

    We’ve sipped on absinthe down in old Paree
    And drunk the whiskey down in Scotland Yard
    But there’s no place that we would rather be
    Than hoisting beers in Ben Franklin’s backyard

    ‘Cause Boston’s nice and New York City’s fine
    But Philly has Brau Haus, so raise a stein!