Guy Fieri’s True Nature, Illuminated Through Parody

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It’s been a big day. We’ve given away over $2,000 worth of free tickets to Philly Cooks in a crazy scavenger hunt (which isn’t quite over yet). We’ve talked about Han Chiang and PYT and Han Chiang collaborating with PYT and watched the weird new commercial for American Sardine Bar over and over again.

But what’s the best way to cap off a big day? With one, final hit of supreme and beautiful strangeness. Which is why I offer you this:

Guy Fieri never registered the domain name for his Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar. Some computer nerd in Brooklyn named Bryan Mykto (who is now my hero) noticed this and bought it. Mr. Mykto then went and knocked up a fake website for Fieri. Said website contains only a menu–but it is a small work of art, artfully skewering the bleach-haired hype-man for American gravy-based fat-assery and offering such brilliant dishes as…

Football: The Meal

Warm, broken hamburgers, served in a clear plastic bag enclosed in a larger black trash bag. Thrown at you from 40 yards.

Have that with a side of “Hobo Lobo Bordello Slam Jam” appetizers seasoned with Axe body spray and “Thick & Funky Mushroom Dribblings” and you’ve got yourself a meal to weep over.

The act of hijacking this address and crafting this menu is almost as much an act of pure American performance art as any night spent at the actual Guy’s American Kitchen. Both things have to be seen to be believed.

Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar [a parody that has more truth than reality]