Uh…maybe? Thanks to one of our faithful tipsters, we got a link to this hi-LARIOUS real estate blog post/property listing this morning, which seems to imply that it’s a done deal and that Starr himself is already in the kitchen making the tamales. Dig it:
This property [1525-27 Frankford Avenue] is a prime example of the Real Estate lingo Location! Location! Location! It is in the center of the The Frankford Avenue Arts Corridor. Neighborhoods that are touched by rich history, exciting new development and Investment Opportunities. A diverse mix of artists, working families, and young professionals that line the area of Fishtown, East Kensington, and Port Richmond who support Frankford Avenue and call it home. This is where you want to open your new or existing business. As you know, businesses feed off of each other and along the Frankford Ave Corridor, we have many successful businesses such as Frankford Hall by “Steven Starr”, Johnny Brenda’s, East Side Bottle Cap featuring a variety of micro brews, art studios, coffee shops and more. New businesses are popping up everyday on this up and coming Corridor, one being Steven Starrs latest project, a Mexican Themed Restaurant just 200 ft. away from this prime location. Get it while the price is right, the market is on the rise!
Oh, there is just so much to make fun of here. Like the random capitalization, the awesome misspellings, the fact that “Steven Starr” is apparently an imaginary character requiring quotes around his name. Or the fascinating information on East Side Bottle Cap which apparently features “micro brews, art studios, coffee shops and more.” I want to go to there!
But anyway, being the thorough researchers that we are over here at Foobooz World HQ, we put a call in to Starr this morning and asked two questions. First, has he recently changed the spelling of his name for no good reason (no), and second, is he opening a Mexican restaurant in Fishtown?
And that’s where things got weird.
“We have not made any commitment to open a Mexican restaurant in Fishtown,” Starr said when I got him on the phone, which was a strange way to phrase it considering I kinda half-expected him to just laugh and hang up. Then he continued, “But I’m not saying I wouldn’t open a Mexican restaurant in Fishtown.”
He asked me why I was asking. I told him about the work of literary genius copied above, then read him the pertinent lines. He answered by saying,” I have looked at some spaces beyond what I already have in Fishtown. I looked at maybe four different buildings 200 feet away, but I haven’t made any commitments.”
And that was that. Until it occurred to me to look up an old post Art had done, speculating about Starr looking at opening a couple of boutique hotels in Philly–one in Rittenhouse and one in Fishtown. One of the locations Art thought was a lock for the Fishtown project was the old Arctic Cold Storage building at 1224 Frankford Avenue, which is a bit more than 200 feet away from 1525, but still in the neighborhood.
So is it possible that one of the “four different buildings” Starr has been looking at will someday become his Fishtown hotel? Is it possible that he will then open a Mexican restaurant there to add to the German food and barbecue he already has in the neighborhood? Is it possible that this terrible, factually inaccurate and laughably goofy real estate posting stumbled upon by one of our tipsters actually managed to get one thing kinda-sorta half-right?
I dunno. But you can be sure that I’m going to be spending plenty of time down at East Side Bottle Cap, drinking a micro brew in my art studio and looking into it.
1525-27 Frankford Avenue [prufoxroach.com]