Restaurant Advice Needed

Food Question

Long time Foobooz “supporterDr. Heckles wrote us today to ask a difficult question about where to go to dinner.

I’m in need of restaurant advice. What’s a good place to go to with a girl that you like that doesn’t like you but will spend your money because you’re celebrating the fact that you just got a job?
(McDonalds, while correct, is not an acceptable answer at this time.)
So we’re asking the Foobooz community to help Dr. Heckles pick the perfect restaurant for this occasion.

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  • Anthony


  • Trufe

    Deliliah’s Den

  • Trufe

    Delilah’s Den

  • alex

    What does this even mean? Do you have a chance with her? Would this ‘date’ affect those chances? If so, go to alma or something. If not, don’t torture yourself…go out with some friends.

  • gijyun

    Start with wine at Tria, move to dinner and drinks at Ela (or Bistro la Minette), then whisk her to this secret place you like where you have to find the door in the alley for after-dinner cocktails (Randstead Room – don’t mention the fact that it’s a Starr operation).

  • hamburglar

    Based on the provided description, I would take her to the offal tasting at Matyson – You suckers seem well-deserving of an amuse bouche of pickled lamb rectum.

  • Dr. Heckles

    Alex, don’t be daft. Dr. Heckles has no need for ‘friends’. Pssh. Furthermore, if I thought I had a chance with her, why I’d simply whisk her away to the nearest, cheapest dive bar and ply her with whatever nigh unpalatable swill it is you people drink these days.

    Alma de Cuba. Noted.

  • Fidel Gastro


  • Cyrano D.B.

    Short answer: Distrito.

    Long answer: what the hell, dudebrah? She’s willing to spend your money and that’s fine, you can make more money, but don’t let her waste yer time, that’s finite and better spent on people who like you for more than your ability to take up space on a restaurant seat.

  • Dr. Heckles

    Gijyun, I must confess to a certain amount of surprise at seeing such a thought out (well or otherwise) plan here. I’m certain that with a mind like yours if you keep aiming for those stars, you’ll be out of the gutter in, oh, four or five years.

    Multi-stage drinking tour with a bite to eat in the middle. Noted.

  • Dr. Heckles

    Cyrano D.B: You lost me at ‘dudebrah’. And what’s this? Not even one recommendation? I suggest you rethink your apparent habit of stumbling about sticking your nose into business that’s clearly beyond you.

  • gijyun

    @Dr. Heckles: My recommendations were based on the option of either a) there’s a chance she can be impressed by your well-rounded palate and copacetic approach to a variety of atmospheres, 2)you both getting so wasted you plow uglies for the fun of it or D) all of the above.

  • b

    gijyun, what dr. heckles meant to say was “thank you for your suggestion”

  • gijyun

    @B I knows it. I was just clarifying. Also, I think basically all nights out on the town should be “multi-stage drinking tour[s] with a bite to eat in the middle.”

  • mazza3

    if this girl knows that you are interested and lets you take her out even though she is not even remotely down with you, then she = mooch!

    but, to be helpful…..mooch, mooch, mooch, mooch rhymes with pooch, so i’ll say good dog.

  • Daniella

    Take this from a lady…this chick sounds trampy and golddigging…using you just to score a nice night out.

    That said, if you still want her company, go wherever YOU want. No need to impress or accommodate her. Take care of yourself!

    As a Philly gal now living in Brooklyn, I crave a dinic’s pulled pork more than anything. It’s not fancy, but omg is it good.

  • Michael G

    Roofies and the Parker Hotel. Now don’t get mad because that’s obviosly sarcasm.

  • Tex

    Serafina is the obvious answer. You’ll know going into it that the cooks and servers don’t like you either.

  • Cyrano D.B.

    I give up, I’m not sure whom I dislike more, the letter writer or his floozy date, but let’s go with both and focus on happy hour instead! Is Sugar Mom’s open yet?

  • Dr. Heckles

    Mazza3: Brevity is the soul of wit. To be helpful… wit, wit, wit, wit. Rhymes with git.

    Andy: How appallingly uncivilized. I almost like you. But not quite.

    Daniella: Come now, don’t be discouraged. Let’s look at this through the eyes of an optimist, shall we? I am absolutely a gentleman of diverse tastes and can most certainly find room in my be… heart for you.

  • PrivateBytes

    Kebab Cafe in Wayne

  • Lord Chesterf***

    Dave and Busters
    Martini Bleu
    “cap” off the evening at the
    Palmer Social

  • Bob

    Gotta be honest here, who cares what she wants or how it makes her feel. If she isn’t actually interested in you, just a free meal (not even FWB?), just go where you want. Be it Burger King or or for a Whiskey King, or something even more extravagant. Cuba Libre? You could look for a new dance partner? Jealousy might just work .. Or you might lose a “friend” …

  • Elray

    Room service in a hotel room

  • Snuggler

    Alma de Cuba is a good pick.

    Also, as a lady, I have to add that you probably *do* have a chance. Personally, I wouldn’t want to endure a date with someone I won’t ever date–whether they’re paying or not!

    Good luck, sir.

  • Brian

    Congrats on your new job Dr. Heckles.
    The correct answer is Cook, sponsored by Philly Magazine.

    But since all of their classes are sold out… I’d recommend a place where you’re in your element; you deserve it and you’ll come across as all the more affable for it. For me that’s a place like Lemon Hill or Kanella.

  • Dave

    Pat’s for a whiz wit. Afterwards, head across the street for some beef tacos de lengua (guaranteed tongue) and wash it down with some supersaturated Jumex.

    Then get yourself a hooker.

  • GazzosDriver

    “Take her to the zoo. I hear retards like the zoo.”

  • Andrew

    hahahahaha @ Gazzos.

    I second the suggestions of Palmers Social Club. If she’s a chubby whit girl, she will do just fine.

  • car

    great place for local restaurant reviews.

  • danielle

    this whole this is dumb #justsayin

  • stephanie

    lolita or raw–assuming she is good-looking and you want her to at least be perceived as your Piece