From Tryst to Chenango, It’s Time To Vote For The Most Stupid Restaurant Name Ever

Two things just happened. First, no one voted in the primary elections. And second, Georges Perrier announced that he’s changing the name of Le Bec-Fin’s Le Bar Lyonnais to Tryst. Gag. Since we all seem to care more about restaurants than we do the possibility of Milton Street beating Michael Nutter (gag, again), I thought we’d have a little fun in deciding Philly’s most stupid restaurant (or bar) name. Past or present.

And the candidates are:

Tryst: Wow, Perrier. Just. Wow.

Chenango: Arrow Swim Club’s restaurant element sounds more like a movie about a boy and his dog, Chenango. “Come back, Chenango!”

Swanky Bubbles: A name as bad as the place itself. At least it’s fitting.

Pastrami and Things: Just what are these “things” in my sandwich?

Whisper: Oh, and the private room is called Shhh.

Swallow: Yes, we know it was named after the nautical tattoo, but c’mon!

G Lounge: The G stands for god awful.

Chubby Balboa’s: You don’t mess with Rocky.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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  • mike

    chubby shouldnt be in any non-porn destination, in my opinion.

  • Danya

    Chenango is a Oneida Indian word that means thistle…

    But the timing is just WAY off for Tryst. French illicit sexual encounter, anyone?

  • barryg

    Gotta go with Tryst due to the ownership, who should know better. MAYBE that would have been a cool name 15 years ago.

  • John

    Chenango is the name of an old street that used to go through the old Schmidt’s Brewery. It is actualy a clever name and an ode to a differnt time.

  • Buckethead

    “French illicit sexual encounter, anyone?”

    Have you ever seen Georges on the prowl in Le Bar Lyonnais? The name is fair warning.

    I wonder what effect the name will have on LBF’s business. If I’d never been there before and walked in and saw stairs leading down to “Tryst”, I’d think it was a swinger’s club or something down there.

    Swallow is a close second but as barry says, Georges should know better. Swallow was opened by neophytes (who made good food, I miss Swallow a little)

  • Mike

    The stupidest I’ve heard is the bar called “Bar”, that makes it impossible to discuss, or search for. On the other hand, maybe it’s genius.

  • Al

    Hoof and Mouth – wait, sorry – Hoof and Fin not off-putting enough for ya?

  • Mat

    No Raw Dawgs on the list?

  • mike

    deuce, always made me think of taking a poop

  • alex

    I 2nd Hoof & Fin… for the disease & hooves and fins always made thing of horses and swimming fins, neither I wish to eat….

  • Who cares?

    “triste” with “i” instead of “y” means “sad” in French …. No comment!

  • Adam

    No votes for Farmer’s Cabinet? Or Koo Zee Doo? Makes me think of Zoobilee Zoo.

  • Tex

    How about “Bomb Bomb BBQ Grill & Italian Restauarant”?

  • Snake

    Speck always seemed like an unappetizing name to me but it never opened, Tryst is just terrible. I don’t think that I’ve ever spoken that word. Does it sound more like “iced” or “ist”?

  • Andrew

    Raw Dawgs does not exist anymore. It is not the 2nd Street Brew House.

  • Meh-

    “Buckets”, “Irish Pub”.

    2 really dumb names…bars more than restaurants.

  • Michael G

    I thought Chink’s would have made the list as well.

  • Rica

    THey are all so bad it was hard to choose. Can someone explain why Swanky Bubbles continues to survive?

  • blerg

    Am I the only one who thinks the name is hilariously bad? Gotta go with Swanky Bubbles on this list, though. Just so goofy.

  • Nicole

    Deuce and Flying Monkey Deuce. I would never eat at either based on name alone.

  • Goober

    Georges in Spread Eagle Village, Wayne.

  • Goober

    ^ (cue anti-burbs vitriol)

  • bhiladelphia

    “Bottom of the Sea” on South St.

  • Jay


  • Michael Klein


  • Michelle C.

    Totally agreed with Flying Monkey Deuce.

  • KL

    Chew Man Chu (when it was around).

    Also, surprised that I hadn’t seen this mentioned anywhere yet that has the Perrier/Tryst story, but he’s piggybacking off of Steve Wynn there. Tryst is the name of a major nightclub at the Wynn Las Vegas hotel.

  • Sarah

    Definitely second Bottom of the Sea…makes me think of sludge and bottom-feeders.

  • Hamburglar

    Flying monkey duece. As in, that monkey just threw it’s poop and now it’s flying!

  • Johnny Goodtimes

    How did Joe Pesce not make this list?

    Bottom of the Sea sounds bad, but it’s actually kind of a cool name, if . It got that name because it opened in a very rough and violent neighborhood in West Philly known as the “Bottom”.

  • Paul

    I can’t believe no one has mentioned “Indian Restaurant” on South yet.

  • Victor Fiorillo

    @ Paul, definitely on the short list. As was Bar. As was Kokopelli.

    • Foobooz

      Smoked Joint was as juvenile as they come.

  • chuck e.

    Bookbinder’s,a name that bribed its way in Philly rag for decades.

  • PJ

    Kokopelli. Meme. Speck. The Smoked Joint (oops). Chu Man chu. Hoof and Fin (oops). Come to think of it: WTF is with restaurant names in this town?

  • Kevin

    Anyplace that has Quizzo should be on the list. That crap should have died with the 90’s.

  • blerg

    Quizzo has nothing to do with a restaurant’s name. Also, it’s awesome.

  • Meh-

    Flamers is a burger joint in the Jersey burbs. Awful name.

    Bottom of the Sea is located in the old swingers club on South.

  • deafmute

    Lucky 7’s, which is in Fairmount, and has no connection to any kind of gambling or casino element as far as I can tell.

    The New Third World Lounge on Baltimore Ave in West Philly.

  • ronnib

    Rat’s is the worst name I’ve ever come across, though the place is terrific.

  • Leslie

    “Tryst” is the name of a popular coffeehouse/bar/lounge in the Adams Morgan neighborhood in Washington DC. And its been there for awhile. I don’t think the name is bad, but since its already in use, I would try to be more original. How about, Rendezvous?

  • Joe K

    @Leslie – Clearly you’ve never been to The Locust Rendezvous — also referred to as “The Rendezvous”, or sometimes simply “The ‘vous” — located only a few block away. I assure you that Perrier would not want any confusion there.

  • Paula

    Tryst is the (fitting) name of the uber-hip nightclub at the Wynn Las Vegas.

  • Liz Matt

    SHH (two h’s), written in red neon by a back staircase, used to be a shorthand for the few rooms discretely available above the then-newly-gentrified Society Hill Hotel at 3rd and Chestnut. Hence the cleverer used of “SHH”… many decades ago in the early 80s.