Q: Our reception is going to be laid-back, with no formal sit-down dinner, so we aren’t going to do table assignments. How do we communicate to our guests that they can sit wherever they want?
I have a comfy blue chair in my office that colleagues sit in for all sorts of reasons and for all lengths of time—and it is also frequently the setting where people pose all manner of wedding etiquette questions to me.
Most recently, a member of PW’s marketing team popped over to ask me this: Her friend (a bride) knew of someone who could definitely not come to her wedding, and wasn’t sure if she should send them an invitation anyway—or if, since they had already basically covered her RSVP, mailing one out would be redundant and unnecessary. Weirdly enough, that’s the very question a friend had asked me at dinner the other week, and this week, a scan of HuffPo turned up this post. So apparently, this dilemma is a common one!
Now, I had offered up a vehement yes; that it’s still always the right idea to send an invite anyway, because it’s nice to give them the courtesy of being formally invited, and for them to have the courtesy of officially replying, and anyway, plans change! You might not necessarily know if their conflict goes away after they tell you about it. But the Huffington Post response was not as vehement, and anyway, with this coming up so frequently, I thought it time to check in with a few of our local wedding-planning experts. Here’s what they had to say:
Question: My fiancé and I can’t decide if a brunch the day after our wedding is something we should do or not. Help!
As we all know by now, wedding wardrobes—whether you’re hosting one, participating in one or simply attending one—often do not come cheap. Try as we might, sometimes it seems like there’s just no way around it, so it’s always helpful when a company makes the whole process a tad bit easier for both you and your wallet.
Meet Le Tote, a new fashion subscription service that lets you borrow clothing and accessories for just $59 per month. Each shipment contains three garments (think dresses, skirts and tops) and two accessories (jewelry, scarves and handbags), and unlike similar sites, you can keep the loot as long as you’d like. Once you send one batch of clothes back, they’ll immediately send you another one—or you can choose to purchase any or all of the pieces at discounted prices.
You know we love a good RSVP card.
We first delighted in this one, which was hilariously clever and yet succinct in the respond options it offered the guests receiving it. (A friend of mine actually ended up copying exactly that for her destination wedding a few months later.) We then chuckled at this one, which was a bit too long and maybe rambling, but offered a lot of pretty funny inspiration if you were looking to work up your own off-kilter RSVP card. And then we came up with our own Philly-ized response card for the back page of Philadelphia Wedding—and we’ll share that with you here soon.
But now, friends, we see this:
Question: How long after our wedding should we just go ahead and send out thank-you notes to guests who attended our wedding but didn’t (at least, yet) give a gift? We are concerned that if we wait a year (since they supposedly have that long to send), it will just look like we are looking for a gift.
As a Freezing Person, I rather dread very fancy occasions that fall in winter. It’s hard to look dressed up and be bundled all at once, and I’m just not one of those people who can grin and bear it—or, for some reason, not get hypothermia when donning a strapless dress in February.
Question: I need to book a shuttle to get my guests from the hotel to our venue, but I won’t know how many guests we have until a month before the wedding. How can I estimate accurately in order to book the shuttle?
Question: My fiancé and I want to do a buffet dinner because our reception is going to be pretty laid back and casual, but we don’t want our guests to stand in the typical buffet lines. How can we avoid having our guests wait for food?